The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith
by Aiwendil X
Summary: Welcome to The Private Rehab Center of Minas Tirith. Aragorn killing Boromir, suicidal Faramir, Leggy/Aragorn, happy-stoned-Haldir, smoking elves, drinking dwarfs, cute hobbit's and dreadful detentions. Slash, drug use, drinking, sex, scum, Oh my...
1. Default Chapter

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
~*~ A/N: I just need a break. This might become a long fic, but only if a lot of people want it to. I really tried to make it different, and I don't think it worked...  
  
Summery: Welcome to The Private Rehab Center of Minas Tirith. Best in Middle Earth. No smoking, no sex, no drugs, no class skipping, no alcohol, no sex, no lawbreaking, no loud music and no sex. Detention with Tom Bombadil or someone worse. Good luck, you'll need it...  
  
Hey Zenia!! This is for you. No one can give me plot-bunnies like you.  
  
Disclaimer: *In official speaker voice* Most of the following characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. I do not claim to own them, and I don't make any money. I only get my own fun. The four OC are mine/my friends work. Thank you very much.  
  
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Mîm wrinkled her nose in disgust. The bus practically reeked of elves, it was terrible. To her despair there was even two of them on the bus. Mîm huffed, lifted her chin, held her head high and went towards a seat in the back. She was just passing one of the elves ( a male with black hair. She had given him the name Elf-Bloke), when she suddenly found herself on the floor. There was a loud, very elvish, laughter, and some more restrained giggles. Mîm rolled on her back and glared at the elf.  
  
"Ups, sorry dwarf." He smiled showing off some pearly white teeth. Damn elf. With his black hair, dark eyes, pointy ears and white teeth. Mîm growled, wishing she had her axe, and got up.  
  
She threw her bag on an empty seat, and sat beside it. "You're o-o-o-okay, right??" Mîm turned towards the small voice. On the seat behind her was a small, scared looking, little, thing. Mîm concluded it had to be a hobbit lass. "Sure," she answered gruffly. The hobbit twitched nervously, making one of it's sandy brown curls fall over it's face. It blinked with it's chocolate brown eyes at Mîm, then looked out the window.  
  
Mîm shrugged and turned to mind her own business. Witch mostly included reading the letter from the school board on her old school. Then ripping it into tiny bits. She brushed her reddish hair behind her ear, and glared at the elves. The Bloke had moved to the other ones seat. As far as Mîm could see, Bloke was trying to have a conversation with Bitch (again, that was the first name she would come up with, regarding female elves). Bitch was, from Mîm's point of view, a great name for the female. Blond, thick hair, pretty face, green eyes... Bitch.  
  
The last person in the bus was a human girl. Woman, whatever. Now that was Bitchiness personified. The chick was the snoppish kind of pretty, shoulder length, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. Her hair was tied back from her face with a silver hair slide. She kind of screamed 'Look at me, I'm the queen of everything'. Mîm hated that type. Wonder what little miss-perfect could have done, that would result in this??  
  
She needed some none bitchy company. She stretched her jaw, and turned on her seat, facing the hobbit lass.  
  
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Nefhuinëiel couldn't help but giggle lightly when the dwarf fell. She hated dwarfs, they were so damn stubborn and thick-headed. The dark elf smirked and said something witty. Show-off, Nef though to herself. She threw a glance at the hobbit in the back, then gazed out the window.  
  
"Why, hello there..." She grimaced and put on a fake smile, before turning her head towards the other elf. He smiled charmingly, and scooted closer.  
  
"Hi," she said shortly, and hoped he'd get the hint.  
  
"I'm Figwit, and you are?" He didn't get the hint. Nefhuinëiel looked him over again. Sure he was cute. Really cute, but boy he knew it too. She glared half-hearted at him, before throwing her hair over the part of her face, he was looking at.  
  
Figwit flashed another award winning smile, "Well, perhaps angels have no names, only beautiful faces."  
  
Nef rolled her eyes. Wonder how many girls he'd used that one on... "I'm Nefhuinëiel, and I'm not an angel."  
  
Figwit laughed brightly. Sarcasm wasn't useful, apparently. "What is such a pretty face as yours doing here, then??" Figwit was back to basics.  
  
Nef sighed and tried to remember exactly what her letter had said. "Cutting lectures, smoking and talking back in class," she answered dryly.  
  
Figwit started talking about how unfair that was. Then something about him being there, due having sex on school-grounds (here he added a wink). This didn't stop. Then some compliments on her 'beautiful eyes, and full, pink lips'. Nef sighed and pretended to listen. Tried not to fall asleep, and made some reassuring 'um', 'really' and 'uh's at random moments.  
  
  
  
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Pearl jumped when the dwarf addressed her again. "What is a little thing like you doing here?" Not only did the dwarf scare her (most things taller then her scared her), but why did the dwarf care?  
  
"I... I..." Pearl stuttered, before making a weak sob.  
  
The dwarf looked slightly sympathetic, "You remind me of a mouse," Pearl had heard that before, "What's your name?" The dwarf leaned her chin on her seat. Didn't look like she was planing on leaving Pearl alone.  
  
Still stuttering, Pearl choked out an answer, "P-P- Pearl H-H-Hornb-blower. Still remembering her hobbit manners, Pearl followed up with a, "Who are you?"  
  
The dwarf tilted her head, "I'm Mîm, just call me Mîm." Mîm smiled, witch took Pearl off guard. Of cause, almost everything took Pearl off guard. As reassurance, Pearl twitched when Mîm spoke again, "Not to offend you in any way. You just don't really seem like the rehab-type, what are you going for??"  
  
"Not paying attention. And I hit teacher once," Pearl said, surprisingly calm. "The t-t-teacher wasn't on purpose. When I g-g-get really n-nervous, I c-c-c-c-can't control my movements. I suf-f-f-f-fer from slight t-t- tics." Stuttering back.  
  
Mîm looked like she was making a mental note, to stay away from Pearl. But she didn't turn away. "I got court with some ale in math. They made a big fuzz about it," Mîm said softly, and smiled at Pearl. The hobbit was taken back for a moment, the made a tiny smile.  
  
"The place isn't that bad though," Mîm continued, "My cousins Balin and Gimli is there. They says you just have to watch your back. I'll watch yours, you'll watch mine, that's okay??"  
  
Pearl nodded eagerly. Maybe she had found a friend...  
  
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Melianwen lifted her head higher. Not only did she have to take a bus (the Rolls was in the garage, for crying out loud), she had to share it with these, these (she searches her brain for a word, describing something she hated) vultures. Scum, lower beings. Elves might think they were great and everything, but she was the greatest. Daughter of a Steward, the richest in Gondor.  
  
And they dared sending her to this Rehabilitation Center. They dared call her snobbish!!! They dared to state that she "showed no respect for neither teaches nor students". Why should she?? Damn, did she miss her bed... The dwarf said something that made the hobbit laugh. So what? She hated dwarfs, hobbits not to mention elves, and here she were, stuck with all of them. The only hope was that her roommate was human. And royal, or at least rich.  
  
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*~*~*A/N: Okay, now I've introduced the OC, (who all have flaws *Not that Mary Sue-ish then*) so now I start writing about the LoTR characters/ arriving to the school. Should be up tonight. Review, make my throat better... 


	2. The one after the first

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
*~*~A/N: We're getting to the good stuff.  
  
Disclaimer: Everything from LoTR belongs to Tolkien. If I made money from my work, I wouldn't be writing here, would I?? I own my OC's and the plot, nothing more.  
  
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There was a loud 'plonk' as the object hit the table. "What the fuck is this suppose to mean?" The words 'Faramir is a Slut' was written in clear blue letters on the surface of the notebook, lying on the wood.  
  
Aragorn smirked and lifted his eyes, "I don't know what you mean, Faramir." If looks could kill, Aragorn would've been a pond of goo.  
  
"How dare you..." Faramir clenched his fists. Aragorn tilted his head, and smiled. In one perfect leap, the young steward-to-be was on the heir of Isildur. It didn't take more them a few seconds. Faramir found himself on the ground with Aragorn on top of him, holding a very sharp-looking knife. Faramir gulped, and gasped as Aragorn put the knife down towards Faramir's face.  
  
Then suddenly, Aragorn was on the ground. Faramir felt like crying of relief, there was Boromir to the rescue. "You little Bug!!" Aragorn's smirk faded rather quickly, with Boromir looming over him. "You think you could just do that to my brother??" Faramir couldn't help but give a small cheer, when Boromir's fist contracted with Aragorn's chin. Then Boromir twisted the others arm so he dropped the knife. Aragorn then attacked Boromir, who moved out of the way, making Aragorn hit the ground, hard. From his place on the ground, Aragorn kicked Boromirs leg, so the steward son, fell. They were just about to kill each other when...  
  
"BOROMIR SON OF DENETHOR !!! ARAGORN SON OF ("a bitch" mumbled Boromir) ARATHORN!!!" The two boys jumped apart. Aragorn ducked under the table, and Boromir gulped before falling to his knees in horror. Faramir joined Aragorn under the table. Galadriel, looking both pissed and computer- generated. "Detention with Sauron, eight o'clock, tonight!!!"  
  
"It's your fault, you Git," Aragorn growled., getting up.  
  
Boromir seemed to grow again, "I protect my family!!" He helped Faramir up, and stepped protectingly (so that's not a word. Look if I care...) in front of him.  
  
"Properly shaggin' him," Aragorn muttered, and left before Boromir had a chance to kill him.  
  
  
  
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Nefhuinëiel looked up at the giant sign, saying : Welcome to The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith. Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere. Nef knew the saying, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'. How ironical. It looked scary, so not nice. She could spot a pool in the back of the grounds, and noticed how everything looked... Kinda cool. I wasn't suppose to look cool.  
  
Someone showed her violently. Figwit (mentally she called him dimwit...) court her. The dwarf, of cause walked stubbornly ahead, the hobbit in her tail. The snob passed by them with a 'huff'. Nef groaned, as Dimwit began talking about 'no one respecting elves'.  
  
On the top of the stairs they were met by the weirdest thing Nef had seen. A guy in full amour, but still pretty scary. "Fresh blood," he (Nef was pretty sure it was a he) crackled. "Welcome." Nef noticed the hobbit hiding behind the dwarf, and the snob still trying to look like a goddess. "I'm Sauron, head of Security. I'll take you to the Principals office. Follow me." Nef had a bad feeling about the place.  
  
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Principal Elrond looked out the window, and sighed. More students, like they didn't have enough already... Middle Earth really was on the brick of destruction. Two elves, a hobbit, a dwarf and a human.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Yes??" Elrond said weakly, while massaging the bridge of his nose.  
  
Lord Celeborn opened the door, "Hobbits Brandybuck and Took has been sneaking in the kitchen again, what are we going to do this time." Elrond felt like crying. The damned hobbits, they just couldn't handle only three meals a day.  
  
"I don't know Celeborn, I really don't."  
  
Celeborn paused a moment, "Should I give them detention with Tom Bombadil??"  
  
Elrond smiled, "Good idea, do that. Anything else?"  
  
"Estel got in a fight again. With Denethors son." Celeborn looked mildly depressed, "Again over Faramir." Celeborn left.  
  
"Why the hell does that guy have to be so protective?" Elrond muttered, "And why does all things happen to me..."  
  
Another knock. "New students," Sauron called from the other side of the door. Elrond looked over the files, and took a deep breath, "Send them in."  
  
The door opened, and the new students sat in various chairs. The dwarf in the far corner, away from the elves. And she was glaring annoyed at Elrond. Damn dwarfs.  
  
"Let's see," Elrond said strictly (as strictly as he could), and picked up the dwarf-file (you could tell. It was in the weird dwarf languish. Elrond cleared his throat and read out loud:  
  
"Name: Mîm Saphirelaughter (the male elf snorted)  
  
Age: 106  
  
Reason for transfer: Drinking and pot-smoking on school grounds, multiple times.  
  
Notes: Short temper, and provoking behaviour."  
  
Mîm actually looked proud. Elrond shook his head. "We won't tolerate any of this. Punishment won't be soft." Mîm smirked. Elrond ignored it, "You are to be placed in room 27, Mellon-house with Rosie Cotton. You may leave." The dwarf huffed, greeted the hobbit then left. 'At least I'm living with a hobbit', Mîm thought as she went in search for her room.  
  
Elrond took the next on his list, the human. He flinched, a human with an elvish sounding name. That was bad.  
  
"Name: Melianwen daughter of Thalion (both elves snorted (it means eagle...))  
  
Age: 29  
  
Reason for transfer: No respect for neither teachers nor students. Has a big number of threatening towards both staff and students.  
  
Notes: Seems to think of herself as above everybody else. Need to show respect."  
  
Elrond lowered his head, and looked directly at the youth, "You will find this place different. You show respect, or you won't get dinner." The girl growled silently. Elrond scanned his papers, "Room 13, Morie-house. You're new roommate will be..." Elrond felt his lips curl into a smile, "Roommates. Legolas Greenleaf and Aragorn son of Arathorn. That's all." The human got up, and left with a sneer (closing the door really hard).  
  
The elf male was up. Elrond felt a migraine waiting to attack.  
  
"Name: Figwit Mornië (now the female elf, rolled her eyes)  
  
Age: 1899  
  
Reason for transfer: Sex on school grounds multiple times, and a few cases of drug use.  
  
Notes: Playboy, arrogant and in need of discipline."  
  
Things just kept getting worse. "We don't play like that here. The rules won't change. No drugs, and no sex." Again Elrond had to scan his list, "Room 3, Morie-house, with Haldir something. You're excused." Figwit winked at the female, before leaving. Luckily she just seemed happy he left.  
  
Elrond cleared his throat again,  
  
"Name: Pearl Hornblower of Brockenborings  
  
Age: 26  
  
Reason for transfer: Pays no attention in class, nor does she say anything. Single case of violence.  
  
Notes: Hides behind a shy outside. If the shell is suddenly broken, a beast might escape."  
  
Elrond raised an eyebrow. Since when did the school board use metaphors?? "We'll make you speak up, and try not to make you show you bad sides." Elrond couldn't help it but smile reassuring at the small lass. She looked so fragile, scared. He looked down, 'very fitting' he thought. "Mellon- house, room 23 with Samwise Gamgee. That's all." Pearl got up, and walked silently out of the door. Elrond smiled sadly again, before shaking his head. He was going soft, bugger...  
  
Migraine almost there. Now the last one, the elf. Pretty, Elrond had to admit. Lovely eyes, but never the less.  
  
"Name: Nefhuinëiel Anìron  
  
Age: 2166  
  
Reason for transfer: Talking back in class, cutting lectures and smoking both tobacco and pot.  
  
Notes: Innocent to look at. But don't get to close, in need of discipline."  
  
Elrond sighed, how much discipline could one school provide?? The elf smiled evilly. Elrond could already see her planning how to get smokes. "The same counts for you, as for the rest. We don't tolorate. No smoking, and no talking back in class." Nef nodded mockingly. Elrond sighed, "Room 41, Dain-house with Faramir son of Denethor." Elrond smiled briefly. Maybe Boromir could learn her some respect. "You can leave now." Nef got up, nodded and left. Sure she would go find her room. After she found out where to smoke...  
  
Elrond sat down satisfied. Then opened his drawer in a search for Aspirin.  
  
************************  
  
Boromir found his brothers room dark. "Faramir??"  
  
"Yes?" The answer was weak, and sounded kinda sad. Like he had been crying or even...  
  
Boromir turned on the lights, and found what he had expected. Faramir on the floor, a knife beside him, and shallow wounds all over his arms. Boromir made a soft cry, before rushing to his brothers side. Faramir went limp, he always did when his older brother finally showed up. Then came the crying, and the clinging.  
  
"Eru... Why the hell do you do this?!?" Boromir almost yelled, and pulled out a piece of bandage from under Faramir's bed. He had placed some last year, and Faramir never noticed where he got them from. Boromir tried to stop the bleeding, while avoiding to much dripping on the floor.  
  
"You got hurt..." Faramir sobbed weakly. Boromir sighed, and cradled his younger brother on his lap. It was always like this. Faramir could be strong and brave, but when it came to hurting Boromir... He would go cut himself. Nothing could stop him. Ever since they arrived Boromir had tried to keep sharp things out of the room, but... It didn't work. Boromir felt a tear slide down his cheek, as he gently rocked Faramir, stroking his hair.  
  
"I'm sorry." Faramir's whisper was weak, but Boromir heard it.  
  
"It's okay," he answered and hugged his younger brother closer.  
  
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A/N: Okay, angst from the start. But I want angst, horror. I almost cried myself. I'm getting to arrogant... Please review, tell me if it's good. I, for one, am satisfied with me. Mostly because it's late, and I have to go to bed now... 


	3. After two, comes

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf (who currently should be working on a Christmas- wishing-list...)  
  
Disclaimer: The bad news first. Most of the characters in the fic, aren't mine. It hurts, I want a Leggy!!! All except Mîm, Pearl, Melianwen and the elf, whose name I can't even pronounce, belongs to Tolkien. Bugger, wonder if I could have one for Christmas...  
  
~*~A/N: Okay, let's see. I feel like chit-chatting. I should, as you can see above, be writing a wish-list. But right now I can come up with a DVD player (with The Fellowship of The Ring, extended version, of cause), MIB 2 on video, LoTR posters, LoTR action figures, LoTR tickets (I'm going to the second showing (okay the premier is in the middle of the night over here. Second is early morning) with my obsessed teacher, but I need to see it at least five times...), actually everything LoTR related, Harry Potter stuff (Hey, go watch CoS, it's SOOOO good. I love Snape!!! I love Lucius and Draco!!!! I love Tom Riddle!!! I love the bad guys!!), and the new CD from Jon (Danish guy). Inventive, isn't it?? God, my A/N will be longer then my chapter... That's not good is it?? Did anybody read all this??  
  
~*~ 2. A/N: Read the first one. Okay never mind, this one is concerning the fic. Angsty but funny. Hey, that's my life!!! So, let's see how the little snob will survive Aragorn and Leggy... And we still have detention... Mwuhuahahahahaha!!!!!  
  
And here come the best part. Thanks for the reviews!!!  
  
Amarth: Thank you.  
  
addicted: Really?? And again *Blushes* Thanks!! And considering I wrote it at eleven o'clock Tuesday night, it's not that many errors. Some, I can see that. Thanks for pointing it out.  
  
Chook: Can't wait to write more. That's good. And you too put me on your Fav. Story list. I'm so honoured *Burst into tears of happiness*  
  
The_Dragons_Lover: Wow, that's so cool. And so what, you don't like LoTR. Your still a Harry Fan. You have a mail, we could chat?? You know, about the awful weather in this part of the world?? ;-) See ya' *Waves* !!!!   
  
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Nefhuinëiel sniffed the air. There was a lovely smell of smokes in the air, and like it wasn't enough, it was moving in her direction. She jumped behind some boring hall-plant, and waited. An elf came into view. A male elf, a very nice male elf. Very, very, very nice, hot, sexy, beautiful, yummy elf. With worn jeans, white T-shirt and leather jacket. Blond hair in a ponytail, and clear blue eyes. Nef licked her lips, this would be fun. He kept walking and his backside came into view. Not only did he have a really nice ass (really, really, really nice ass), more important at that time... A pack of smokes in his left pocket.  
  
Nef darted out, and in a few seconds she was in front of the hot elf. He raised a dark eyebrow, "Are you new??"  
  
"Yes, I am." Nef nodded, then crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
The male tried to walk around her. Here came the good part. Nef delivered a nice pat to the elf's bum (really, really, really, nice, firm ass), and he twirled around. "I thought smokes were illegal here..." Nef said innocently. In her mind, horns was growing out her forehead, and a black glory was appearing over her head.  
  
The elf growled at her, his eyes practically shooting arrows at her. "What do you want??"  
  
Nef looked thoughtful, "Tell me where I can smoke, that'll do," she smiled playfully and nodded for him to lead the way.  
  
The elf's face twisted into an evil grin, "Sure Lady. What's the name of this evil angel??"  
  
Nef didn't mind this one calling her an angel. An evil angel, it sounded sexy, "Nefhuinëiel. Just call me Nef."  
  
The blond smile wickedly, "I'm Legolas Greenleaf. Got your own smokes??" Nef nodded. "Then follow," Legolas said and bowed slightly.  
  
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Sam lifted his head. There was the knocking, it wasn't a dream. It might have been, he had fallen asleep over some history essay (Galadriel was the History teacher. She turned very mad, if you didn't do your homework). Sam eyed the door, and got up. "Come in," he called softly, and hoped it wasn't Merry or Pippin. They had insisted on hiding food in his room ("Come on Sam, it's so close to the kitchen,"), and last time he had been court.  
  
The door opened slowly, and a small hobbit lass stepped in. She looked really scared, and kept blinking, "Are y-y-y-you Samwise G-G-Gamgee??"  
  
Sam felt oddly stronger by her presence. Maybe because she seemed so weak... "That's me, yes."  
  
The lass twitched, "I'm-m-m Pearl H-H-Hornblower. I-I-I'm your n-n-n-new r- room-m-m-mate," the girl choked out, and began fiddling her thumbs. Sam raised his eyebrow a bit. Why was she being sent here. He had been because, well, old Gaffer believed gayness was a disease. And this was suppose to help, a ruff school. This one just seemed... Harmless, scared. Kinda sad, really.  
  
"Well, come in." Sam tried his best to sound kind. He nodded in direction of the empty bed in the left side of the room, "That would be your side then." Pearl nodded/ twitched again. Sam chose to continue, "Your desk, closet, dresser, and the bathroom is in the hall." Each time he pointed in direction of the object. Pearl kept nodding. Sam sighed, even that Frodo Baggins spoke more then this one. Hmm, Frodo, that was one nummy treat. Sam shook his head, now was not the time for naughty thoughts. "School staff has the right to search your room at any time," He added, and sat down by his own desk.  
  
The lass stood in the door for a few seconds, then began pulling in her trunk. With very little success. It wasn't even big, Sam noted. She made one last dramatic pull. That resulted in her hand slipping, and her falling five feet back.  
  
Sam got up, "I'll help you with that," he said, making the sweet-Sam smile. (You know, like in the boat with Frodo. You just wanna hug him...)  
  
Pearl stared at him wide eyed, looking like a deer court in the headlights. She started stuttering uncontrollably, then gave up talking with a weak sobbing sound. Sam tilted his head at her, and picked up the trunk. It wasn't heavy at all, did that lass never eat?? He placed it on her bed, and turned, offering his hand to the smaller hobbit. Pearl stared at it, and did some more disorientated blinking. Sam frowned, and gestured for her to take it. The lass bit her lower lip, but reached up to grab a hold of it.  
  
"T-T-Thank you," she stuttered, and bushed off her scabby jeans.  
  
"No problem." Sam smiled gently at her, before sitting down to finish the essay. Pearl sat on her bed and looked out the window, silent. Sam tapped his pencil against the hard oak surface of his desk. He glanced at her, and turned his chair, "You will have to open up, unless you wanna drive my utterly insane."  
  
To Sam's surprise, a tiny smile spread over Pearls soft features, "Sorry, I don't s-speak much."  
  
"Only one tiny stutter," Sam grinned, and winked at her playfully. This time Pearl giggled. Sam got up, and then threw himself on his own bed. This could turn out well...  
  
  
  
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Aragorn was carefully nursing his wounded bottom lip ("Oh, Aragorn hurt his little baby face," as Legolas had put it). There was a sharp knock on the door, and he looked at the clock on the table next to Legolas' bed (it was held together with tape and glue, Leggy wasn't a morning person). Only four, it wasn't Sauron complaining he hadn't shown up. It was going to be, but...  
  
"Is this room 13??"  
  
Aragorn turned to find the door open. The girl didn't bother to wait for the answer, "So, 'you Aragorn??" Aragorn opened his mouth, but again, the woman didn't seem interested in what he had to say. She threw several large suitcases on the floor, and closed the door behind her. "I'm Melianwen, but don't worry, I won't be around for very long. You just stay out of my way, got it? Good!!"  
  
Aragorn blinked and sat down in the nearest beanbag-chair. That ought to be the meanest bitch he'd seen in a while (save Galadriel). Who the hell did she think she was? She was rude, evil, snobbish, provoking, and yet annoyingly attractive... Did someone turn Boromir into a woman??  
  
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"New roommate?" asked a cheerful voice, when she entered. Mîm looked the hobbit over, she seemed all right.  
  
"I'm Rosie," said the small thing, and held out her hand.  
  
Mîm looked around the room, still all right. "Mîm," she said sweetly, and gave the hobbit a nice handshake.  
  
Rosie began taking her bags in, and talking about how she would have a great time at the center. Mîm sat on her bed, as Rosie started telling her about the different teaches. Maybe this wasn't so bad, she had to find Gimli. Have a nice family talk. Some family drinking.  
  
  
  
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"I'm Elladan," the dark elf smiled.  
  
"Elrohir," added the other, raising his hand. Nef smiled, she did always like twins... The small clearing was totally isolated, idealistic place for smoking. Legolas had strictly told her to keep it secret, this was the elves smoking place. There was a thud, and a blond elf, with slightly choppy looks, entered the ring. Nef raised an eyebrow, as the guy pulled out a pretty bong-bottle. Properly used to be a coke bottle.  
  
"That's Haldir," said Legolas, greeting the other with a wave.  
  
"Oh, really..." Nef mumbled, and took a long drag of her Prince Light ("Gotta love a gal who smokes sissy smokes", was Legolas' comment). Elrohir had offered her a Camel, even before he knew who she was. Funny...  
  
Legolas made a pretty series of smoke rings, and leaned back against an old tree. Haldir was beginning to look pretty happy-stoned-Haldir-like. Nef sighed, this was even better then her old school. Everything seemed quite, until...  
  
"Sauron's walking pretty damn close to here," the elf, Nef remembered as Glorfindel, said nervously. Nef liked him, he was too, very nice. And hot, very hot.  
  
The group of elves stubbed out their smokes, and Elladan placed a hand over Haldir's mouth, to keep him from giggling. The keen elf hearing was annoying, 'cause Sauron was getting closer. "Move!!" Legolas mouthed, and pushed the group towards the back of the clearing.  
  
Haldir didn't stop the giggling. Nef would under normal circumstances find a group of elves running away from a dark lord, funny, but just not when she was among the elves. Still not spotted. Just around the corner, and they would be safe. The twins were safe, Haldir, Glorfindel and...  
  
"GREENLEAF!!! ANÌRON!!!!"  
  
Legolas uttered some very un-elvish phases on the way to the office. Bugger, busted on the first day. On second thought, that was nicely done...  
  
  
  
*******************************  
  
  
  
~*~*A/N: I NEED SLEEP, IT'S LATE!!! Any errors, I don't really care. My head hurts, and I suck. *Sob* Help... 


	4. The one, with Elrond's good sense of sme...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf (the elf high on life and/or smokes...)  
  
Disclaimer: I am but a poor student, who properly wont have money to buy most her friends Christmas gifts. I don't own most the characters, they are Tolkien's. And please don't sue, my friends would be very mad at you...  
  
~*~*A/N: Okay, I start 30 minutes before I have to go to school. I'll mark the break, 'k??  
  
  
  
**************************  
  
Elrond groaned and started massaging his temples with his long fingers, "First day, and you get into trouble, Miss Anìron..."  
  
Nefhuinëiel spoke, voice dangerously calm, "Doing what, exactly??" Legolas smiled briefly at the girl's calm behaviour. She was going to be a great partner in crime, she just sat there looking insulted by being accused.  
  
Elrond raised an eyebrow, "Smoking on school grounds."  
  
"Do you have prove?"  
  
"You both stink," Elrond said with a matter-of-fact tone, letting his hands drop to the desk before he continued, "I know the elves have their own little smoking place somewhere, and I know there must have been more than you two, but..."  
  
Nef kept her face even, and remained the Ice Queen of the act. Legolas tried the best he could to keep an equally even face, and hoped it would work. Especially because both their cigarette-packs were hid in Nef's shirt (cleavage, to be more precise. It was actually a nice shirt, tight and dark green). Legolas hoped they would just be sent to detention with Sauron, Aragorn was going too, so that wouldn't be 'too' bad.  
  
"Being the loyal people, in the back, isn't the best, is it??" asked Elrond, hoping to get some confessions or some other names. Neither of the youths said a word. Elrond sighed, "Detention with Sauron, you can join the 8 o'clock team. Now get out of my sight."  
  
Legolas closed the door behind them and tried some lame gesture of comfort, "It's not so bad." Nef raised a perfect eyebrow. Legolas groaned in defeat, "Who am I kidding, Sauron is the worst ever, when it comes to physical punishment..." He sighed, as Nef yawed tiredly. "So, where's your room anyway??" Legolas asked, remembering that he didn't have that information.  
  
Nef took up some paper from a pocket in her black pants, and without looking up, got her bags from behind a candy-machine. She then delivered a shift kick to the side of the machine, making it spit out a few chocolate bars. Legolas grinned and picked one up, offering her the other. Nef scanned the paper again, "Room 41, Dain, with some Faramir-guy..."  
  
Legolas choked on his Milky Way (*Giggle*), "I feel so sorry for you."  
  
"Why??" Nef asked blankly, and opened her coffee-chocolate.  
  
"Most elves are in Morie, then the kind of snobbish people are in Dain, save a few." Nef bit her lip. "But Faramir's really an okay guy, just kinda suicidal. Not to mention has the most protective bigger brother, Boromir..." Legolas said and padded Nef comfortingly on the shoulder.  
  
Nef frowned, "He can't be that bad, the brother I mean..."  
  
Legolas flinched, "If not before, you'll meet him in detention. He and Aragorn had a fight." Nef searched her brain for data on Aragorn. Legolas' roomie, nice guy. Legolas paused, then, "Well, guess I'll see you then..."  
  
Nef cleared her throat, "Well, maybe you should pick me up, by my room, you know?? I don't really know the way to detention..."  
  
Legolas smiled sweetly, "Our first date," and followed up with a fake sniff. Nef giggled slightly and shook her head. Legolas pointed down a light blue corridor, "Dain, that way," he informed her.  
  
"Thank you, very much Mr. Greenleaf," Nef said in a mockingly polite tone.  
  
"No problem, my fair lady," grinned the blond, and kissed her hand softly. Nef at this made a fake "oh my" sound. Legolas laughed softly, and went on his way.  
  
"So," Nef mumbled to herself, "off to find the bloody room." (I just realised, how that can be made into a pretty disgusting joke, Faramir, bloody...)  
  
********************School, witch I was late for anyway... *******************  
  
"This is the art room," Sam explained and noticed how Pearl was starting to look more relaxed by the minute.  
  
"Who's t-the teacher??" she asked curiously, and followed Sam further down the long corridor.  
  
"Saruman the White," answered Sam with a slight shudder, "Now he's "the many coloured", though. Don't ask..." Pearl laughed, and sighed happily. She was starting to like the place, this Sam was extremely nice. And he liked cooking and gardening. Pearl really liked flowers, and food for the matter. Earlier, she had asked why he was there, and honestly she had expected the answer. Such a nice guy had to be gay...  
  
"Cooking," Sam pointed down the hall, "right next to the kitchens, where..." Sam was cut off. Pearl turned her head, and only had time to widen her eyes. Two figures, hobbit size, came crashing out from the nearest door, bumping into both her and Sam (who responded with an intelligent 'ump').  
  
"'Ello there, lass," grinned a cheerful voice. Pearl found that she did in fact have a young hobbit on top of her. A pretty male hobbit, that Pearl found herself gazing dreamily at. She hadn't gazed dreamily at someone since, well, never... A pair of beautiful green eyes stared back at her, and a mischievously grin spread across the hobbit's face.  
  
"Sam, what a pleasure, how are you??" the other hobbit asked, smiling broadly and got up.  
  
Sam groaned, and lifted Green-eyes of Pearl, "I was fine 'til a few seconds ago, Mr. Merry..." He made the 'Mr.' sound like an insult.  
  
"I'm Peregrin Took, call me Pippin or just Pip" the green-eyed hobbit smiled at Pearl, grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.  
  
"Pearl Hornblower." No stuttering, weird.  
  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck, Merry," the other one, pretty too, held out his hand. Pearl took it carefully, and smiled weakly.  
  
Sam put his hands on his hips, and looked down on the floor, "You've been in the kitchen again..." He said, and sighed.  
  
Pippin took his eyes off Pearl, "I think, I remember now, why we where runnin', dear cousin,"  
  
"BRANDYBUCK, TOOK!!"  
  
Merry made a soft 'eep' and picked up a few boxes a cookies, throwing them into Sam's arms, "Hold these, and then run!!" Sam glared at Merry, but moved the hell out of there, without objections.  
  
Pippin took up a couple of carrots, and grabbed Pearl's hand, "Nice advice, follow." Pearl looked back over her shoulder, as Pippin hurled her around the nearest corner, and just court a glimpse of the chef. Or chef's really, a man, and a pretty female. Hey, was that guy wearing blue coat and yellow boots?? (A/N: Soooo last year ^.^)  
  
~*~* A/N: I'm hungry. Hold on some time, okay??" 


	5. The One With Cute Hobbitses, Dreadful De...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: I'll make this one boring... The following characters (save mine) , and locations (save mine) belong to their creator, the mighty J.R.R Tolkien. I'm not making any money on my work, nor do I plan to break the poor babies... Much...  
  
~*~ A/N:MERRY CHRISMAS!!! Here's my present to you. Mona gave me a great idea for detention, evil as she is *crackle* So here goes late Christmas fiction. (I tend to wonder, *why* I write the best, when tired and high on caffeine...)  
  
*****************************  
  
"C-C-C-Cooking-teacher??" Pearl asked, still catching her breath.  
  
Sam nodded, sitting down on Merry's bed. They had fled to their room, when Sam had refused the use of his. Pearl took notice, that it had a nice mushroom smell. "Professor Goldberry is the cooking teacher, she was the only one left for the job. Professor Bombadil, the guy with clothes the rest of us wouldn't be court death in, is poetry teacher and kitchen boss," Sam answered and discretely helped himself to a cookie.  
  
Pippin groaned, "Spea'kin of the shit, me and Merry have detention with the git tonight."  
  
Merry buried his face in his hands, "The torture, the torture!!"  
  
Pearl glanced at Sam, who nodded in agreement. Poor Pip...  
  
"So, this is second time you're stealing, today?" Sam said, and sat sent Merry a disapproving look.  
  
The young hobbit raised an eyebrow, "They took the first catch, Sam, honestly..."  
  
Sam and Merry started a half-sided discussion about morals, not noticing how Pip nudged Pearl in the ribs, and they walked out.  
  
***********************  
  
  
  
"'You in here, Mîm??"  
  
Mîm raised her head and smiled, "Balin!!" she exclaimed, and got up to hug her cousin. After a brief, manly, hug, she drew back and looked past him, "Where's Gimli at??"  
  
Balin shrugged, "Actually I don't know."  
  
Mîm looked over at her empty bags, and the dresser, witch was looking pretty stuffed, "Let's go find him, I'm out of things to do." Mîm waved at Rosie, and skipped out the door.  
  
"Never could keep her in one place..." Balin mused, and scratched his beard.  
  
*****************************  
  
(A/N: Okay, my Elf's speak Quenya, deal with it... I only speak a little Quenya, don't kill me, if I make mistakes.)  
  
Legolas raised an eyebrow, upon entering his dorm room. On his bed, in the far right, sat Aragorn. His arms were crossed across his chest, and he had put on the 'I'm-going-to-be-king-of-Gondor-face'. On the bed to the far left, sat a human female. Legolas couldn't really figure out witch one of them looked the most pissed. 'Maybe those three-person rooms were a bad idea,' he thought grimly, and threw a few books from his locker on his own bed, witch was, by terrible strategically planing, placed in the middle.  
  
"Legolas," Aragorn greeted, and tried to keep an even face.  
  
Legolas waited patiently for Aragorn's outburst of anger, and used the time to address the female. "Hi, I'm Legolas, 'you our new roommate?" He held out his hand.  
  
The dark blue eyes seemed to glow, "Don't touch me, elf!!"  
  
Legolas growled, and had to take a few calming breaths, repeating 'you don't hit a girl, you don't hit a girl' in his mind. "I'm Melianwen, and you stay away from me," she girl hissed, and began unpacking what seemed to be the fifth bag of clothing.  
  
Legolas turned his back at her, and looked over at Aragorn, still taking deep breaths. Aragorn looked like he was about to blow up, or worse. "Amin delotha re!! I hate her" he growled dangerously.  
  
Legolas was about to answer, when Melianwen cut him off "Auta miqula yrch, Agaryulnaer!!!"Go kiss an Orc, Blood-sucker  
  
Aragorn's eyes widened, and Legolas frowned. Did everybody speak elvish these days?? Melianwen sent Aragorn a brief glance. The ranger swore he saw a glimpse of hurt in the deep eyes, but it soon faded.  
  
Legolas looked from one, to the other. Maybe time would pass quickly, and that detention come along soon?? He got up, and noted for Aragorn to follow. The heir of Isildur, seemed happy to oblige.  
  
  
  
***********************  
  
Nef opened the door to her new room, and looked around. An empty bed, just for her. It wasn't before she saw some movement on the other bad, that she noticed another in the room. "Hello??" she tried gently. Didn't wanna trigger any suicidal behaviour.  
  
The boy/man looked up from his position on the bed. 'Cute', Nef thought, and licked her lips. Reddish-blond hair, nice eyes and a light beard. And yet, wasn't that a bandage on his arm?  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
Good question really, wasn't like she carried around a name-tag. "I'm supposed to be your new roommate, if you're Faramir...?" Nef asked and smiled sweetly.  
  
The boy's eyes flicked a second, "Yes, I'm Faramir."  
  
"Nefhuinëiel Anìron, call me Nef." Nef held out her hand, but when Faramir didn't seem to wanna stretch his arm, Nef settle for a girlish wave. Faramir didn't move an inch, but kept clutching his arm, so Nef decided to play it easy.  
  
She had just placed her bags on the empty bed, when the door burst open. "Faramir, we *need* to discuss the cu-..." The guy had noticed Nef, and he didn't seem very happy about it. "Who are you??"  
  
Now, Faramir had said that in a soft, almost frightened voice. This guy hinted that she should fuck the hell off. Nef didn't like him. Nothing wrong with the looks, he was hunk-y, but he didn't really seem like the friendly kind of guy. "I'm Faramir's new roommate, Nef," she said shortly, "who are you?"  
  
It looked like hunk-y would be happy to throw her out, he probably didn't want Faramir to have a roommate. "I'm Boromir, son of Denethor. Faramir's brother."  
  
'Of cause, who else??' Nef thought, and hid her face in her palms. The day was just getting better, and better...  
  
***********************  
  
Legolas gave some rock a good kick, making it hit a window the broke, somewhere. He really needed to breathe some free air, or it might be the death of their new roomie. Aragorn had decided to 'walk it off', his kind of anger management. Legolas on the other hand, had a less sophisticated way of dealing with the situation...  
  
"Yo Gimli!! You axe is the size of a pocket-knife, and your mother shags donkeys!!!!"  
  
Result: He didn't start the fight, but he could now kick some dwarf ass.  
  
(A/N: Got it from this Danish show. How to get a day off from work, if you couldn't lie, and needed to be hurt for real. Go to your local biker club, tab the first biker you meet on the shoulder, ask him "if his ride is a puck-maxi and point out that his mother shags donkeys." Can be tricky though, since damage is undetermined. Hee Hee)  
  
  
  
************************  
  
Mîm stared dump struck at the scenario. So they found Gimli, but he was being bitchslapped by an elf. A few dwarfs had come the Gimli's rescue, so Legolas delivered a final punch on Gimli's nose, for good measure, and jumped back. He then waved and bowed for the elven audience, and darted off, before any teachers would show up.  
  
Mîm shook her head, boy did she hate elves.  
  
"Hi Mîm," Gimli greeted, and spit out some blood. "Want a drink??"  
  
Mîm smiled at her cousin and nodded, supporting him on the way to his dorm- room.  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
"Uh, Aragorn, Sweetie..." called two girly voices.  
  
Aragorn froze. Shit, no, not now. He looked fanatically around for a place to hide, and decided on the first dorm room he could get into. He slammed the door, closed and waited. The squealing moved down the hall, and faded.  
  
Aragorn sighed from relief. He had been saved on the bell, now where was he?  
  
"Who the hell are you??"  
  
Aragorn looked up to find a dark, male elf staring at him. "Aragorn," he answered shortly.  
  
Before the elf could question what he was doing in the room, another cheerful voice rang out, "Aragornsie, ma' man."  
  
Aragorn looked over on a bed, and smiled at happy-stoned-Haldir, who waved and giggled. Typical Haldir, stoned before dinner. He would most likely start a food-fight again... And so, half the house would have to stay after dinner, to clean up.  
  
"Hello Haldir, and you would be new??" Aragorn greeted the blond and then addressed the dark-haired elf.  
  
"Yep, I'm Figwit, and you're Aragorn." Figwit offered Aragorn a handshake.  
  
Suddenly Haldir started laughing like a maniac. Well, he was, but anyway. When he had reduced it the hysteric giggling, he choked out, "You wer' runnin' from you'r girlies, Aragornie. Again!!" before a curled into a giggling ball again.  
  
Aragorn smiled briefly, and sarcastically. "Yes Haldir, you might say that." Figwit raised an eyebrow, but didn't follow the subject.  
  
Haldir stopped giggling again, and looked wide-eyed at Aragorn, "Betterrr run lil' Aragornie, befor' Èowynie and Arwrech catches youuu," he slurred, and fell down on the floor from his reassumed giggles.  
  
Aragorn nodded, and noted 'goodbye' to both elves. It was time for dinner anyway.  
  
  
  
**********************  
  
  
  
"Clean the pool, what is that guy thinking?!?" Nef growled. So Legolas had picked her up for detention, and Sauron had been in a crappy mood, apparently.  
  
Legolas removed a twig for his long hair, and yelled across the pool, "'How can I kill these brats??'"  
  
Nef snorted, and threw some more rotten leaves on the edge. It was autumn, and actually you couldn't see the bottom of the pool. So they weren't allowed to leave, before it was clean. So jump in the pool kids, jump in the icy-cold pool.  
  
"Shut up, and keep working!!!" Sauron bellowed, and cracked an imaginary whip. Nef had herd him grumping about 'how sad it was, that the old ways of punishment was banned'. Then there was something about 'how he missed the screams', and then the had chosen to ignore the rest.  
  
Now about the pool: There was a deep end, with jumping stools, and a low end (neck-high) for swimming only. Nef, due her fabulous luck, had been placed, to begin with, in the low end. Hunk-y (Boromir) was drowning in the deep end, with Arrogant Aragorn. Legs was too in the low end, as was some human Nef didn't know.  
  
There was some spluttering from the other end, and Aragorn resurfaced. Apparently, Boromir had pushed him underwater. So now, Aragorn attacked Boromir. And Sauron went mad, really mad.  
  
"Don't mind anything but your own business, and you won't end up dead," a voice advised Nef. She swam around, and faced the human. He was tall, with blond hair. Not bad looking either, but then again no one had been bad looking yet.  
  
Nef threw some more leaves on the side, "I'll keep that in mind..."  
  
"Èomer, you are??"  
  
"Nefhuinëiel, just call me Nef."  
  
"I'd rather, I don't think I can pronounce the other one."  
  
Nef laughed for a second, but then Sauron noticed her, so she started showering leaves again. "This must be what hell is like..." she mused, as Legs swam to her side.  
  
Her fellow elf looked thoughtful, "Nah, Bombadil is worse, he'll make your ears bleed. Howdy Èomer, what's the honour??"  
  
Èomer nodded in Legolas' direction, "Hello Legolas, calling Galadriel a crazy cow, in her class."  
  
Nef smirked. "So, back to my question, Bombadil is worse then this??" she asked and pulled yet another disgusting thing-y from her poor hair.  
  
"Yes," both Èomer and Legolas answered at one time. Nef widened her eyes, fingers crossed, she shouldn't be court smoking again.  
  
They worked in silence for a while. Legolas had just throw a big pile of leaves up from the bottom, when Nef's scream pierced the air, "SOMETHING HISSING "PRECIOUS" JUST SWAM THOUGH MY LEGS!!!!" Legolas groaned, and the 'Preciousssss hisser', swam past him. Nef was hyperventilating, and looked like she might pass out, "What the FUCK was that!?!?!"  
  
"Nothing you should worry about, Precious!!! " Èomer shouted, and gave her a meaningful look. Don't mind anyone's business, got it.  
  
"And don't yell like that, they might send you to the counsellor," Legs added in a low voice.  
  
Nef got her breathing under control, but shuddered despite herself. Please, some slimy thing just swam though her legs, people!!! "And who's the counsellor??"  
  
"Gríma Wormtongue," Legolas said, and Nef nodded in agreement. It didn't sound like the guy, you would just love to share your 'feelings' with, now did it??  
  
"Boromir is strangling Aragorn..." Nef noted.  
  
"He'll live," Legs answered and went back to work. Nef sighed, as both Aragorn and Boromir disappeared under the water. They'd live, more or less dead... So, she had almost lived though her first day, classes should be piece of cake, right??  
  
(A/N: I have the teacher list ready here:  
  
Elrond: Principal Sauron: Head of Security Galadriel: History Bombadil: Poetry Goldberry: Cooking Saruman: Art Celeborn: Math (Eight I see before me, yet nine there was set out from ... See, the guy can count ^.^) Gandalf: English Treebeard: Philosophy Theoden: Self-Confidence-class (*Snigger* "Sure, we'll fight those 10.000 Uruk-Hai, no problemo") Wormtongue: Counsellor  
  
If you have better suggestions or something to add, mail me, please. Or leave a review.)  
  
************************  
  
  
  
"So y-you have detention, tonight?" Pearl asked sympathetically.  
  
"Yeah, we do," Pip answered, and offered her a brownie. Pearl took it and looked at her feet.  
  
Pippin looked her over, "What's a nice lass like you doing 'ere??"  
  
Pearl smiled sadly, "I'm to quite, and then a can't control my movements, sometimes, when I'm scared."  
  
Pip nodded, and gave her another brownie, "You know, maybe if I thought of you tonight, detention wouldn't be so bad..."  
  
Pearl was pretty sure she broke the world record in blushing. Probably under a half second. "R-R-R-R-R-Really??" Jeesh, nervous much??  
  
Pippin smiled mischievously at her, and nodded. "Are you gonna hit me, if I give you a kiss??"  
  
Pearl blinked. Never, ever, had she seen that one coming. She barely knew him, and, and, and... He looked so cute (since when did she find boys, cute??) . She shook her head slowly.  
  
Pippin smiled again and leaned in, placing the softest kiss on her trembling lips. Pearl opened her eyes, not really knowing when she closed them, and blinked a few times. Then she smiled slightly. Her first kiss, in the hallway, in a Rehab Center. She wasn't normal, that was for sure.  
  
"You should smile more," Pippin said softly. "You look cuter when you smile. No forget that, you look cute all the time."  
  
Pearl was sure even the tips of her eyes where flaming red about now. "Thank you."  
  
"You also have really pretty eyes," Pip continued, and gave her another soft kiss. Pearl sighed happily. That was rewarded with another kiss... and another. Pearl dropped her second brownie on the floor. Now, she was having her first make-out session, in the halls, of the Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith. (A/N: Awww, can I write fluffy or what...)  
  
  
  
************************** My A/N Play:  
  
*Cille and whole LoTR cast* From all of us, to all of you: A Very Happy Christmas!!!!  
  
Cille: Now Leggy will strip and...  
  
Legolas: Then you woke up  
  
Cille: Watch it. So here it is, pretty long chappy really, for my standard at least.  
  
Boromir: Witch is not great...  
  
Cille: Should this story involve slash, with YOU???  
  
Boromir: Sorry, now go sleep in you new Frodo'n'Sam LoTR bedsheets, you got from your aunt.  
  
Cille: *Dreamy* Yessss, Precioussssss  
  
Boromir: And tommorrow, we'll play LoTR RISK, 'k??  
  
Cille: What ever you say, sweetheart. MERRY CHRISMAS, PEOPLE!!!  
  
*LoTR* : MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 


	6. How to Get Two Detentions on Two days or...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: Keep it real!!! Sorry, I just watched Ali G In da house... Everything you think might just belong to Tolkien, pretty much does. Just wager on that.  
  
~*~A/N: OHMYGOD!!!! I go to my stats, and I'm on 6 people's favourites Lists. *Does Snoopy dance* HALLELUJA, I'm so happy!!! Thanks.  
  
Dear Reviewers (I'll just put all in here...):  
  
~ HoL: Yeah, I know. Damn that Figwit's sinister attraction... And Thanks.  
  
~ manx: You think. I didn't like movie-Faramir either, people who haven't read the book, will think he's evil... Hey look, I'm updating again.  
  
~ DeeSarrachi: You Bitch!!! I've been trying to get Pearl out from the drain for three hours now, and it won't work. And like that wasn't bad enough, some hobbit is biting my ankle!!! ~.^ So, I'm so happy I inspired you, I didn't really think I was the inspiring-type... And, on your fav. List too. *Gives you a giant hug* THANK YOU!!!  
  
Quenn of Slash: I know, I know. I kinda think so too, and I wanted slash in this story (I'm a big slash fan, I just haven't collected enough courage to try writing it), so I have Frodo/Sam (will have).  
  
spritejessa: Thank you, thank you thank you *blushed bright red* I'm really not that good... On your favourite list, I see, THANKS, really thousand kisses.  
  
Riders of Rohan (Jess): Oh God, I screamed at this. Ever since I started writing, I've dreamed about getting a review from one of the Breegirls crew- members (I'm a HUGE fan here), and now it's here. And I'm on you guy's fav. Lists, BOTH!!! I feel like crying of happiness. Thank you so much, I'm so flattered you liked my writing. *Faint in sobs of joy* Okay, I'm over reacting, I need professional help... Or they'll send my to Wormtongue *Shudders* He has cool eyes though. Ew, I'm speaking good about Wormtongue's looks. I must be shot...  
  
But anyways, here we go:  
  
(And chapter not checked for typoes, sorry... V. Little time today)  
  
*****************************************  
  
Dain house was having Geometry with Morie house, first class Thursday morning. They had most classes together, Mellon then had theirs for themselves. ("Bloody small people" as Aragorn oh-so intelligently had put it) But to Nef's big surprise, Geometry could be worse then she had ever expected it to be...  
  
"Why the hell didn't you tell me??" Nef growled in Legolas' ear.  
  
Legs shrugged apologetically, "Let's say, we were keeping the worst facts from you, sparing you..." Aragorn nodded in agreement. Even Boromir (seated on the other side of the horseshoe the tables was placed in) seemed to think the same.  
  
"The shortest distance between two points, is a straight line," Sauron declared, and a piece of chalk wrote it on the blackboard, making a horrid sound. All students cowered their ears, witch made Sauron glow dangerously.  
  
"How the hell did he become Geometry teacher??" Figwit hissed. Nef leaned over the table to get a look at him. He was seated next to (happy-stoned-) Haldir, who was finding it extremely amusing to throw a pencil into the air. Actually Dimwit, ups Figwit, wasn't that bad after all. He did have nice eyes...  
  
"He can make perfect circles," Elrohir suggested.  
  
"That's about it..." Aragorn ended with a small smile on his lips.  
  
"SILENCE!!!"  
  
The whole class jumped from their seats (half probably just waking up). The five talkers lifted their eyes slowly (Haldir just giggled drunkenly), and Nef cringed at the look on Sauron's face. The 'You-Will-Burn-In-Hell-For- This - look.  
  
"Anìron, Greenleaf, Monië, son of Arathorn, Half-Elven and..." Sauron looked annoyed and waved his hand at Haldir, "Detention after dinner."  
  
Legolas groaned, and Elrohir pouted. Sauron's smile grew even more evil, "With Professor Bombadil!!"  
  
Legs gasped, Aragorn's face twisted into a mask of horror, and even Haldir looked like he might pass out. Figwit became very pale (Haldir must've told him a few facts), Elrohir looked like he might drop dead, and Nef gulped. Second day, and now she had to face the horrors of Bombadil's poetry (they only had him on Wednesdays). Thing weren't going like she had planned them.  
  
Now, the good old normal-school- Nefhuinëiel, would have stood up, and said some things, that would make even a construction-worker blush. But Nef knew better of Sauron, and didn't fancy spending a lifetime in detention. So she settled on receiving looks of pity from Faramir, Èomer and Elladan, and going back to working on a equally-sided triangle.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
He carefully put the mushrooms in the pot, brushing the past piece from his perfect hands. He then put one perfect finger in his perfect mouth (perfect moist, full lips), sucking the little perfect cut he had made be accident. Sam licked his lips. Now, he turned on the water, and smiled slightly (but perfect) when the water ran over his beautiful, perfect hands, his perfect clear blue eyes shinning like...-  
  
"Would you stop that for just a second??" Pearl asked irritated.  
  
Sam tore his eyes of Frodo, "Huh??"  
  
"Gazing longingly at Perfect-Frodo," Pearl said with a sly smile, and gave her cookie-dough a good punch.  
  
Sam blushed scarlet, "I wasn't..." Pearl sent him a dirty look, practically saying 'don't lie to me, Sweetchums'. "Maybe I was..." he murmured, and went back to his chopping tomatoes.  
  
Pearl smiled sweetly, "So, you fancy him??" she asked blankly.  
  
Sam's head shot up, "Not so loud," he snapped and continued, "No..."  
  
Pearl raised an eyebrow, and looked down at Sam's work. Two tomatoes chopped into pieces, together forming a heart. "Maybe..." Sam blushed even redder, and Pearl giggled.  
  
"I must admit, he's pretty handsome," she whispered a few second after.  
  
"You think??"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
Sam shook his head and went to fry the vegetables, noting for Pearly to follow with her dough. "So, you and Peregrin...?" he said slowly, knowing that Pearl was the one blushing now.  
  
"W-W-What about us??" Sam noted that Pearl stuttered again.  
  
Sam smiled cheekily, "He cured you're stuttering..."  
  
Pearl looked up, and smiled when Pippin met her brow eyes, "Yeah, just waiting for the beast now." Sam looked puzzeled. "Never mind," Pearl said, and threw down her hands in defeat, "This isn't going to work."  
  
"Need's more milk," Sam answered without even looking down the bowl. Pearl smirked at him, and went to battle the hobbit's answer the Melianwen (Diamond, something) for the milk. Sam sighed, and resumed his Frodo- gazing. Now he picked up a spoon, with his perfect milky white hand, his perfect chestnut curls falling around his perfect face, witch...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Maybe Mrs. 'daughter of Thalion', would like to tell us all, WHY a^2 + b^2 = c^2 ??"  
  
Melianwen blinked, and stared at Professor Celeborn. A-whatta was that?? "Uhm..."  
  
"What was that, I didn't quite hear you??" the blond teacher said, looking like the greatest pleasure he could get about now, was flunking her from the first day.  
  
"It just is, people wiser then me have found out that it is, and I do not want to put myself responsible for making mistakes with their hard work," a male voice hissed behind her.  
  
Melianwen didn't think twice, It just is, people wiser then me have found out that it is, and I do not want to put myself responsible for making mistakes with their hard work."  
  
Celeborn raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really??"  
  
Melianwen held her breath.  
  
"As much as it pains me, the little Mrs. 'daughter of Thalion' is right. No one really..." Celeborn continued, and Melianwen sighed of relief. She had seen what Aragorn and the elf had looked like, when they got back from detention. And it wasn't pretty.  
  
She turned backwards, to thank her helper (in math, the tables were place neatly in five rows, single person tables). "Thanks, um...?"  
  
The boy smiled slightly, "Boromir. And no problem really. Now turn around, and pretend to listen." Melianwen giggled for the first time in weeks, and turned. Now, that was her type of person, Boromir. And, he wasn't bad looking either...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mîm looked blankly at her home-made map, and turned to Rosie, "Is this supposed to look this way??" she whispered urgently.  
  
Rosie looked up from her work, and shrugged, "I have no idea." Her map looked almost messier then Mîm's.  
  
Mîm thought for a few seconds, followed by a few more, and some after that. Then she threw her pencil and lineal on the table in defeat. "Stupid hobbit," she growled angrily. Rosie looked wounded. "Not you, that blockheaded Professor Baggins." Yes, they had Geography, with Bilbo Baggins. (A/N: He likes maps...)  
  
"There's only one way to do this," Gimli added from the next table. Rosie nodded in agreement, "Make something up," they both said in one voice. Mîm smiled evilly, and went to work. Well, Rivendell was on the west side of the misty mountains, right?? Moria, easy to place. And Mirkwood, big wood on the east side of the mountains. Now, where to put in Rohan...???  
  
~*~A/N: Sorry it's so short- but I must go to bed now, New Years tomorrow. And Dad's breathing down my neck, so I'm getting nervous here. Next chappy soon, I promise. Now press down there, and tell me what you think of the story/chapter !!!  
  
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BYE!!! 


	7. Se7en

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: All you remember, you've read about in a book, is Tolkien's belongings. Rest is my wicked mind. I'm not making any money from this, trust me, I'd be on Hawaii right now if I was... And wait, I don't own Pixi Sticks either.  
  
**Warning: There is gonna be slash now. Male/male pairing. Not graphic (yet) but mentioning. If this offends you, go away. Don't flame, I did warn you. Maybe a little late, but I did...**  
  
~*~* A/N: Sorry it's so late, but here it is. So, I just finished watching se7en (fifth time, I guess), and then I got this idea. Seven stories from one day in the students lives, each of them committing a deadly sin... Scary (if I kill them off...), but can be made funny (if I try really hard??). Mwuhuhahahaha!!! And for the spice of it, The Seven Contrary Virtues. Practising these virtues is alleged to protect one against temptation toward the Seven Deadly Sins, so let's put them in with them (they are NOT the seven heavenly virtues, just so you know it. They are: faith, hope, charity, fortitude, justice, temperance, prudence. I knew those in my head. I might become a crazy serial-killer... Nah).  
  
Dear Reviewers:  
  
Thanks, cynda-chan. I've taking quite a liking of happy-stoned-Haldir myself.  
  
Raveness: Yeah, I love Haldir very much, and I think PJ should fry in hell for killing him. Many people believe that too, don't you guys??? But anyways, thank you for the nice reviews.  
  
Keko: Thanks. He might, but I wouldn't wanna fight an angry Legolas...  
  
legano-san: *Giggles* Glad you liked it.  
  
Fiora_da_insane: *Takes Pixi sticks* They don't have these in Denmark, and all you people keep talking about them... Are they good?? Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm truly hoping I can post this tonight, but hey, it ain't my computer...  
  
Ravenness: Again ^.^ I'm the best?? *Sobs of happiness* T-T-Thank you...  
  
asia: I want more Haldir too *pout* And thank you for the other reviews.  
  
DeeSarrachi: You just gave me the best idea, thanks. Frodo, the schizophrenic hobbit. *Loud evil laughter* Thank you, very much. And thank you for restraining Mel, she almost crewed off my foot... And hey, I need Pearl. Trust me, something not that good will happen too her.  
  
Quenn Of Slash: Okay, I hope you're reading this. You get it your way, L/A slash. And wait, who said I'd give Nef to Leggy?? I was only planning on friendship up until chapter five... Now I'll just put her with, well... Èomer, Haldir (I'll have all the happy-stoned-Haldir lover dying to chop my head off. *Grabs throat and makes funny grimace*), Figwit, Elladan, Elrohir, Merry (*Snigger*)... Or would Nef/Arwen please you even more?? ~.^ But anyway, you'll love this, you pervy slasher!!! *Notice Zenia (she's sitting next to me) raising an eyebrow, and saying "YOU are a pervy slash- fancier, you git"*  
  
~*~*2. A/N: The 'word' paper clips just tapped the screen to get my attention (it makes real 'metal against glass sounds), and now it's staring at me. I'm scared...  
  
Now, with that done: Let's get rrrrreeeeaaaady to Ruuuuummmblllle!!! (Was that a 'roll' or what? ^.^)  
  
(Read the A/N(s) if you haven't done that already, Fool of a Took)  
  
Se7en:  
  
  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Anger (patience):  
  
  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Bombadil!!!"  
  
Nef sighed. Aragorn had been swearing for half an hour after they got out of detention, and Nef was the only one left, that would put up with his 'bitching' (Haldir just had a way with words). Legs had smiled half-hearted before he left, and Figwit had blown her an air-kiss. Elrohir had smirked satisfied...  
  
Now about Detention: it had been bad, really bad.  
  
FLASHBACK:  
  
"Welcome students!!"  
  
Haldir sobbed of horror. Nef padded him comfortingly on the shoulder, but it seemed of no use. Strangely enough, the elves had gone smoking just before (not like things could get any worse, if they got court), and Haldir didn't even bother getting stoned... Much, anyway  
  
"So, merry dol," Bombadil started (halfway singing), an pointed strictly at some chairs, which the students sat on without protesting. "We'll first here some of my 'of Tom, of Tom, of Tom Bombadil' songs, then you'll make your own."  
  
Haldir hid his pretty face in his hands, and Nef gasped in horror. She wouldn't live though this, even Haldir was dying. She could see a single muscle working in Legolas' chin, Aragorn was staring blankly into space, Figwit had big tears forming in his eyes and Elrohir looked like someone who was about to be decapitated.  
  
Bombadil cleared his throat, and began the horrid singing:  
  
"Merry dol, Tom Bombadil's a merry fellow  
  
Bobadil, Bom Bom O Bombadil  
  
His jacket is blue and his boots are yellow  
  
Tom Tom Bom Bom Ba Dil o Dil!"  
  
Nef screamed silently, as did the rest.  
  
"Second verse!!" Bombadil cheered and continued singing. Haldir cowed his ears with his hands, and Nef started writing her will on her notebook. Let's see, smokes to Haldir and Legs, panties to Figwit, pocket knife to Boromir (or Aragorn, you can fight for it guys, the winner survives), and...  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Bombadil!!" Aragorn shouted again and then there was a loud 'crack'.  
  
Nef turned around, "What did the wall do to you, Mon Cherie??" she asked in French accent, remembering that Aragorn had a thing for The Adams Family. The movie at least.  
  
Back to the now. Indeed, Aragorn, in the now, had one hand "in" the wall, "Ow," he mumbled and tried to pull it out, "It won't work. Give me a hand, Tish. (Hee!)"  
  
Nef slowly walked back to him, and sent him a 'your own fault'-look. Aragorn groaned and pointed angrily at his right hand, with the left of cause. Nef sighed tiredly, and tried pulling his hand out, "Blasted bad craftsmanship," she grumbled, and let go when Aragorn whined loudly. "The wall sucks too."  
  
Aragorn smirked sarcastically. Then he froze in horror.  
  
"I mean, In math, Estel was SO dreamy..." Voice one squealed.  
  
"And in Geometry too!!!" added voice two, also in a girly squeal.  
  
Aragorn started pulling and trashing wildly, trying to get away. He just considered biting his hand off, like wolves do, when Nef cleared her throat, "What, bubala??"  
  
Aragorn got glassy eyes, "Pain and Panic. They'll rape me," he whispered urgently, and began biting off his hand.  
  
Nef bit her lip, time for some good, logic thinking. Or just thinking at least. "Stand still damit," she growled, and Aragorn stopped trashing. Actually it looked like he just gave up, and accepted his fate.  
  
Nef pulled out her pocket knife. Aragorn looked like he was to comment that it was illegal, but he didn't say anything. The two evil creations of Satan came closer to the corridor. With her tongue between her teeth, Nef started cutting the wall around Aragorn's hand. "Hurry," he whispered, and jumped a few times. "Stand still, you twit," Nef growled, and stopped before she would accidentally cut off his hand. The voices grew louder, and Aragorn started to faint. Nef cut ever so slowly, and...  
  
With a shift pull, Aragorn's bloody hand was out. He blinked a couple of times, before Nef grasped his hand and pulled him into the nearest room. Her own.  
  
  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Pride/Vanity (humility):  
  
Melianwen growled loudly, "Stop breathing so loud, elf!!"  
  
Legolas sent her a dirty look, "Maybe you shouldn't mind other peoples business."  
  
Melianwen looked like she might attack, but instead she began checking her hair in her mirror.  
  
Legolas watched her out the corner of his eye. He briefly considered finishing his math homework, but decided to do a little human research. "You must truly be rotten inside, if you can't live without knowing your outsides are perfect."  
  
Melianwen's head shot up, her eyes blazing, "I bet you are just the same, all you pretty elves."  
  
Legolas raised one eyebrow, and smiled slightly at her, "We aren't, Mel'."  
  
Melianwen stood up and, and flicking her hair, walked to Legolas, "You do not call me 'Mel', got it??" she hissed.  
  
The elf looked blankly at her, "Why, is that hurting your pride??" he asked mockingly.  
  
Melianwen turned and returned to her seat, without a word, reassuming writing the same lame math report. "Bet you check your hair every chance you get. All elves are vain like they were Gods," She said coldly after a minute.  
  
"Well, I... - We don't," Legs answered then paused, "I'm not to sure about Figwit though."  
  
Legolas giggled at his own joke, and Melianwen snorted. "I don't believe you, elf," she said and lifted her chin again.  
  
"And I don't care," Legolas answered.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"Fine!!"  
  
"FINE!!!"  
  
"Shut up, elf!!"  
  
"Make me, MORTAL!!"  
  
"FINE!!!!"  
  
  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
  
  
Envy (kindness):  
  
"Sam??"  
  
Sam looked up from his newly planted daisies, and met Pearl's chocolate eyes, "Yes, Pearly??"  
  
Pearl winked her eyebrows in a seductive manner and meowed, "Uh, the pet names, Sam-slut."  
  
"That Peregrin is having a really bad influence on you," Sam smiled, and got up. "What did you want??"  
  
Pearl threw herself on her bed, and kicked off her shoes (the newest hobbit fashion was groundbreaking: Shoes, even snickers!!), "Why is Perfect-Frodo here??"  
  
Sam paused. Coming to think of it, he never really thought about that. "Well, you are here..."  
  
"Releasing the beast," Pearl crackled. "But come on, he looks like a little lamb..."  
  
A few blinks, and Sam was sure he had heard her right. "Maybe he's gay," he answered with a small cheer.  
  
Pearl snorted, and picked up Sam's daisies. She inhaled the smell and sighed contemptibly. "I don't know," she mused after a short pause. "He has pretty eyes though."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Very pretty, beautiful, eyes."  
  
"Why can't I have pretty blue eyes??" Pearl pouted childishly, but remarkably serious at the same time.  
  
Sam walked to his sink, and washed off his hands, "You have beautiful eyes," he murmured quietly.  
  
"Huh??" Pearl asked and looked at him with the wide, childish, gaze again. Like the first time he met her. She even blinked a few times.  
  
"I said," Sam repeated, with a short pause in the middle, while drying his hands with paper towel. "You have beautiful eyes." He finished standing by her bed end, with a kind look in his eyes, "Pippin hasn't told you yet??"  
  
"He told me I have pretty eyes, and that I look cute all the time," Pearl whispered with a smile on her lips, "I just think blue eyes are pretty for a lass, like that Diamond of Longcleeve," she ended.  
  
Sam shook his head, "You are so much more beautiful then her."  
  
"But Rosie Cotton says Diamond is after Pip, and..."  
  
"No," Sam said strictly, "Diamond of Longcleeve is the meanest bitch, and Pippin would never pick her over you."  
  
Pearl snorted, "How can you be sure?? It's not like I'm Xena over here..."  
  
Sam sent her sad look and sat beside her, "You are kind, sweet, pretty, and the best person to talk too, I've ever met," he stated firmly.  
  
Pearl broke into a huge smile, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, Samwise," she whispered and then hugged him close, "You are the best."  
  
Sam blushed (as usual), and shrugged, "I'm not, really."  
  
"Sure you are. Now, I'll just go help you out," she said with a wicked grin and got up.  
  
Sam looked confused, "What??"  
  
"I'll go tell Frodo you fancy him. Be right back."  
  
People passing could see a hobbit lass trying to get down the hall, with a hobbit lad hanging onto her right ankle...  
  
  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Gluttony (abstinence):  
  
"Haldir, cut it out."  
  
Haldir looked up at Figwit, half a Pixi Stick hanging from his mouth, "What, Figgie??"  
  
Figwit sighed and rubbed his temples, "You're eating very noisily."  
  
"But I'm very hungry," Haldir giggled and chewed the rest, not even bothering to close his mouth.  
  
Figwit flinched in disgust, "You have the munches, that the problem really." Of cause, Haldir had those almost all the time, but still.  
  
"So...?" He began with another Pixi Stick.  
  
Figwit considered for a moment, "Maybe you could give up getting stoned, for just a week..." he suggested, "You know, so I could get a little studying done on my first month."  
  
The blond elf looked outraged, "Give up ma' weed?? Nev'ar!!! Use da library if you must, Fuggie." (By this time, Figwit had come to terms with the pet names changing all the time) "Like you'd give up sex..."  
  
Blondie had a point, but nevertheless, "I haven't even had sex while I've been here, 'Hallie!!'"  
  
Haldir smiled cheekily, "Only because you want Neffie, and she doesn't wanna."  
  
"Shut up," the dark haired of the two grumbled and went back to his crappy math report. A few second passed with silence from Haldir (who laughed at the math). Then there with rustling off paper, and loud chewing of another Pixi Stick. Figwit hit his head against his desk. It bounced off... Damn desk.  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Sloth (diligence):  
  
Mîm sighed in her slumber and turned over. It was great at the center, truly great.  
  
"Mîm, we have homework."  
  
That would be Gimli, the Snake in Paradise. "Shut up, Gimli, sweety."  
  
Of cause she had decided to hang in Gimli's room, but did that mean he should make her study?? I don't think so girlfriend.  
  
There was a pause, "Mîm..."  
  
Mîm groaned and sat up on the bed, "I don't wanna. You said this place was cool!!"  
  
"It is, when you are done with your homework. Before, it's a *pain*," Gimli said and noted for her to start on some English stuff.  
  
Mîm scanned the paper. Boring, boring, boring, boring... "Gimli, I don't wanna!!!"  
  
"You have too."  
  
"But I don't wanna."  
  
"You don't have any other options."  
  
"I could protest," Mîm suggested.  
  
Gimli shook his head, "Nope."  
  
Mîm threw up her hands in defeat, "Homework it is..."  
  
"Good girl."  
  
Mîm smirked, and then aimed a pillow for his head.  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Greed (liberality):  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Elrond flinched. Migraine had been bad ever since the news about Mrs. Anìron and Mr. Monië's new friends. And how many detentions they had managed to get. "Yes??" he cooed (or more like sobbed). "Mr. Elrond, good day." Gandalf, with hobbit. Great. "Young Mr. Frodo Baggins has run out as medication, so..."  
  
The young hobbit looked incredibly smug, "Preciousssss... We wants it, WANTS IT!!!!"  
  
Elrond groaned, "I see, we are kinda greedy today. Thank God for single person rooms." Frodo Baggins, special case. Suffered from extreme schizophrenia. Though putting him in a single-room was bad regarding cases of missing pills, having parents complaining about "un-expectable student" was worse. Elrond went to his cabinet in the corner of his office. He picked a bottle of pills, and handed it to Gandalf. Frodo tried getting away, but Gandalf grabbed his leg and forced a pill in his mouth.  
  
A few second passed, then Frodo twitched. "Professor??" he asked slowly. Gandalf smiled briefly, and put him down. The hobbit thanked politely, and left.  
  
"He is a nice lad," Elrond commented.  
  
Gandalf shrugged, "Yeah, most of his personalities are nice. But stay away from Darryl."  
  
Elrond rubbed his temples for what felt like the 20th time of the day, "He costs a lot to keep drugged..."  
  
"He deserves it," Gandalf said fondly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go flunk most of Morie house."  
  
Elronds smiled grimly, "Don't forget Dain."  
  
Gandalf crackled evilly, "I won't, trust me I won't."  
  
  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
Lust (chastity):  
  
Nef smirked and sat in her chair, "Good thing Faramir isn't in."  
  
Aragorn raised an eyebrow, "You are planning to keep me in a closed room 'till he shows up, and kills me??"  
  
"Nope," Nef grinned, "actually I've been wanting to ask you something..."  
  
"Really??" Aragorn asked, and sat on her bed. Nef reached under Faramir's bed, and pulled out two beers. Aragorn kept his eyebrow raised.  
  
Nef shrugged "He said I could borrow from him, if I gave him smokes from time to time. Is that wrong??"  
  
"Legally, yes," Aragorn smiled, but accepted the drink.  
  
"So..." Nef started naturally, "How long have you been into Legolas??"  
  
Aragorn spluttered beer over the rug, "What??"  
  
Nef still looked like they were talking about killing Boromir or something normal like that. "How long have you wanted to grab his cute little ass, and shag his brains out??"  
  
Aragorn looked outraged, "*EXCUSE* me, I think I'm hearing you wrong..."  
  
"No, and you heard me just right the first time, you pervy elf-fancier," Nef snapped in an annoyed tone. "So how long have you lusted some of his tight little butt??"  
  
Aragorn assembled a goldfish out of water, "I don't.. - "  
  
"Oh stop lying to me." Nef was now smirking lightly and leaned back in her comfy chair.  
  
Long silence. "Maybe five months..." Pause, in which Nef started playing with lock of her hair. "Five moths and twenty days tomorrow." Nef grinned like a cat after getting cream. "That's all the time I've been here," Aragorn added with a sad look.  
  
"Genius Gomez," Nef drawled, and leaned over to pad him on the shoulder, "I'll tell Leggy first chance I get."  
  
"What!?!" Aragorn looked moderately (okay, that was an understatement) shocked.  
  
Nef grinned satisfied, "Well he obviously feels the same, Querido."  
  
"How do you know... Cara Bella (inset sigh here)??  
  
"He hasn't made any moves on me," Nef said shortly.  
  
Aragorn smirked, "So he just *has* to be gay??"  
  
Nef nodded and, smiled, leaning close to Aragorn's face, "Every being on the school has tried to make moves on me. All, except dwarfs, a few people actually loyal to their girlfriends, most of the teachers non-gay girls, and gay males." She pulled back and smiled, "Legs in the last group."  
  
Aragorn sighed, then furrowed his brow, "Which teacher??"  
  
"Not teacher really..." Nef murmured, and looked disgusted, "Gríma Wormtongue offered a "private session" tomorrow after dinner. Then he winked suggestively and meowed." She shuddered and took a long sip of her beer.  
  
Aragorn started laughing loudly, "You and Éowyn should form a club," he smiled cheekily, "U.W.F. Union of Wormtongue's Fancies."  
  
Nef smirked sarcastically, "Now back to you wanting Leggy."  
  
Aragorn stopped laughing and looked wounded, "Maybe he just doesn't fancy you," he grumbled.  
  
"Nah. And besides, he told me."  
  
"What??"  
  
Nef sighed in annoyance, "That he likes you very much, are you always this thick-skulled??"  
  
Aragorn stared blankly into space, before drowning his beer in one shallow. Nef shook her head and grabbed for another one from under Faramir's bed. Aragorn took it and emptied that too. Nef smiled briefly, and leaned back, wiggling her fingers in glee.  
  
"He did, I mean, he does??"  
  
Nef locked eyes with the boy. Aragorn looked surprised, scared, but also kinda relieved. Wow, she was multi-tasking... "The Smoking Ring of Elves could be renamed. The-Place-You-Tell-People-Deep-Dark-Secrets..." She smiled satisfied with the philosophical sound of the sentence.  
  
Much to Nef's surprise, Aragorn then started laughing. Loudly. With extremely childish enthusiasm threw himself at her, and proceeded in a giant hug. Nef, after pushing him off so she could breathe, gave him a tired look, "So, wanna go think of a good approach on things??"  
  
"How to confront Legolas??" Aragorn asked, suddenly nervous.  
  
Nef raised an eyebrow, "No, how to now avoid him for the rest of eternity, Mon Cherie. Note the sarcasm."  
  
Aragorn nodded, and helped himself to his third beer. His face cracked into an evil smile, "So, how about you an Figwit??"  
  
"Dimwit??" Nef tried to look disgusted.  
  
Aragorn smiled charmingly, "When are you gonna break the written law?? "  
  
"Never." The elf crossed her arm over her chest.  
  
Aragorn didn't look convinced, "So, you'll be the only female elf who doesn't have sex?? Safe Arwrench."  
  
"You bet I'll be, I'm working on a whole 40 days, 40 nights plot here," Nef growled and stood up. "Faramir might show up soon, you should get out."  
  
Aragorn looked wounded again, "You don't love me, Neffie??"  
  
"Call me that again, and I'll cut off your balls."  
  
"Okay, you got it," Aragorn smile brightly, and bowed, "Have fun with your chastity-thing." Nef closed the door after the chippy human, and sighed. This was going well, all hail the power of woman intuition. Hopefully.  
  
*~~**~~**~~*  
  
A/N: Boy, that was long. Now, I really want reviews... Feel the bright bottom calling you!!!  
  
The "Word" clips is now scratching it's head. Help. 


	8. The Growing Pains of Haldir, student in ...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: All belongs to Tolkien. Except the plot, and those crazy OC's...  
  
~*~* A/N: Here's something for the Haldir-lovers. Love you!!! For the first time in POV, and Haldir's nonetheless. Now, be happy, and cheerie.  
  
Reviews:  
  
wujasmine: Thank you. *Blushes*  
  
  
  
****************The Growing Pains of Haldir, student of PRCMT*********************  
  
  
  
Friday the 15th of November  
  
  
  
Morning journal. Welcome to the life of an elf student.  
  
Friday. By any means a fine day. The last day of the week, singing lovingly about the weekend at hand. And just as a reminder of our situation, the most boring day of the week. The day invented for gazing emptily into space, and throwing stuff at various Dain-students.  
  
I strolled after Figwit on the way to our first class, English. Of cause, he seemed annoyingly bouncy this morning, not matching my hangover very well. Neither does English, by the way. And let's not begin with History... But I do what I always have done. I take one class at a time.  
  
Outside the classroom we were met by Legolas and Nef. Nef gave me a brief hug, and then tried to calm Leggy down. Apparently she had been talking with Faramir, and Legolas found that very bad. Not that I disagree, getting close to Faramir is getting close to a bad joint. Never wise, unless you wanna puke. That sounded clever considering I just made it up.  
  
Turns out Professor Gandalf must've been in a shitty mood (might be because he was banned from the kitchens for unknown reasons last week), and had given half the class C's. I myself got a D-. Turns out writing "English class is boring" when the subject is "boring things", isn't counted artistic or modern by Professor Gandalf. Both Nef and Figwit thought it clever, not to mention Aragorn, who copied. I swear, I saw a B+ on his paper. Teacher's pet.  
  
The rest of the class was uneventful. Unless you count Éomer throwing a worm in Arwretch's hair an event. It was pretty funny though, and Gandalf accidentally turned her hair green, when trying to make it go poof (or whatever he was trying). Since Wretch got renamed she's been so cranky. Wonder why??  
  
Nef found the whole deal greatly amusing. She's pretty when she's laughing. God, this is turning out sappy. On the other hand, Aragorn thought it even funnier. This got him detention with Sauron. Glad it's not me, I hear someone has to catch the "Precious Hisser" so he won't freeze over the winter...  
  
As we always do after yet another torture session, the elves went smoking. Legolas felt greatly sorry for Aragorn. I think he might fancy him, and visa versa. Nef seems to think the same, as she smirks every time Legolas mentions Aragorn. I dunno, maybe it's kinda cute. Elladan and Elrohir was planning some wicked joke to play out on Professor Galadriel in class. I mentally noted to get a seat in the back and/or away from them. Flashy, computer generated Galadriel v. Scary. Mark my words. In other news, I got stoned. Again. That might be why I forgot about staying away from trouble.  
  
Since Sauron nearly court us all on Wednesday (save Legolas and Nef, bless them), we had tightened security. Figwit was on tree-watch-duty, and we had a quick escape plan ready. Not that I would remember in my current situation.  
  
Somehow I got to the classroom for History. I think Legolas might have carried me, or maybe it was Nef. Or Glorfindel, someone blond at least. When the small fishes (in bright pink and blue colours) stopped dancing on my table, I found that I was in fact sitting just in front of the twins. With Nef at my side, shooting some very meaningful glares. Something in the lines of "You stupid, stoned, twit, can you do anything but get people in trouble?" Nef has really meaningful looks, in very big sentences.  
  
Professor Glaladada, or whatever, was just going over the details of the last alliance, when something exploded in her face. And turned her pink with yellow polka dots. After the seconds of silence, and the collective gasps of horror, from student within her reach, everything went kinda blurry. I flashed back to find Elladan keeping me from giggling. And we appeared to be in a broom closet. Elladan, Legolas, Nef, Aragorn, Figwit and me, in a very small broom closet. Note to self, if I get a nasty blue mark on my foot, I'm to blame Aragorn. Clumsy humans, always stepping on people. I think I saw him grab Legolas' bum. Scary mental image. Then the dancing fishes returned. Must buy better quality weed, those fishes are kinda spooky.  
  
Geography, one of the better classes, when it comes to sleeping. The leather cases you put maps in, can be used as a v. Comfy pillow. Heard Professor Baggins say something about school trip next Thursday. Heard a thud from behind. Later found out we're going to Emyn Muil. Understood why Boromir fainted. I have to try listening in class's, I really must. But it's so damn hard.  
  
  
  
  
  
Saturday (or actually Sunday) the 16th (17th) of November  
  
  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I'm scarred for life.  
  
This midday, I found out I lost my lighter yesterday, so I went to look for it. I thought of looking in the broom-closet, but I didn't find anything pretty. Well, Leggy is pretty. So, Aragorn and Legolas engaged in some activity, where you apparently don't need any clothes. So I'm guessing they weren't playing cards. Legolas as a nice ass though. Valar, I need to get some pussy soon. Even Arwretch will do.  
  
Even more disturbing. I went back to my room (bumping into several hobbit's as I went), and found Nef waiting for me. No, unfortunately (for my new found horny-ness) she was dressed. But opening a bottle of champagne with Figwit, and seemed extremely pleased with something. That something turned out to be Leggy shagging Aragorn in the closet. How she found out, I don't wanna know.  
  
So, we shared a bottle of champagne. Then Figwit had some Vodka, and we played 'I've never'. Turns out Nef is quite wild... And Figwit has had sex every time, every place. We drank a whole bottle of vodka. And then we giggled over stupid jokes. Then Legolas came by with more champagne, which we drank. Then he also got some of my Gin (I hide it under a lose floorboard, you never heard). Turns out the whole Legs/Estel deal is on courtesy of Mrs. Anìron. Never underestimate women, never. Legolas kissed her on the lips, and got up, crashing into various objects before he left. He said he wanted to lick the Dunedain some more... Nef grinned uncontrollably and Figwit looked like he might get sick. Then he went and threw up.  
  
When Figwit returned ten minutes later, Nef and I had already packed for a little smoking trip. Figgie said 'no' in very tired voice, and laid down.  
  
So, campus was supposed to be quite. No one out after dark. Nef found it amusing to scare the shit out of some humans drinking in some bushes. Recognised one, think his name is Mablung or something. We bumped into Éomer too, but he was going back to his dorm. Looked sick, too.  
  
Anyways, since it was a very special accession, Nef and I actually got high on some fine weed. Not that cheap stuff the hobbit's sometimes sell you, the good stuff. Nef giggled like school girl for what seemed like hours. So did I, but surprisingly enough, we didn't get court. Then there's a fade into black.  
  
My head hurts like Mordor. And, I woke up this morning, Sunday, with a knife craving in my arm saying 'Nef and Haldir 4 ever' in a heart. Nef has one too. Speaking of the princess, she is passed out in Figwit's arms, and I really don't feel like waking her. She looks so peaceful. Wait 'till she wakes up and feels her head. I placed two aspirins and some illegal codeine tablets on the night-stand, when the wake they'll thank me. Now I need coffee. And I might wanna ask Aragorn how the "drunken-Dunedain-licking" went. Maybe I'll have a smoke first. Yeah, good idea.  
  
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~*~ A/N: Hmm, that was fun writing. I luv my Haldir. And his new tattoo. Muwuhuhahahaha!!! His marked mine forever!!! No, he's marked Nef's forever. Bloody hell. Review good people. Did you know that the "Word" paper clip, also falls asleep. Kinda insulting really... "You're so boring, I don't even wanna help you, and I'm not a real person." Bloody clips.  
  
REVIEW!!! Gotcha...  
  
Haldir Lovers United, Show you love for Haldir and Review!!! God, I love that elf...  
  
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	9. The One With Sunday Mornings

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Beta reader: Jessa Sprite (God bless her)  
  
Disclaimer: Tolkien would be rolling around in his grave, if he knew what I was doing to his amazing creations. Not mine, not making any money. Don't sue me, I'm just playing with them. Swear I'll put them back on their shelves when I'm done. More or less whole. And another thing: "LIKING THE DUNEDAIN" AND "ARWRETCH" BELONGS TO BREEGIRLS (DE AND KRISTIN)!!!! Remember that, I kiss the ground at their feet. Literally. ^.^  
  
~*~*~ A/N: Sorry I was kicked off, but here we are at last. I'm so in the write a lot mood. Still, I know I jumped fast over the whole Legolas/Aragorn thing. So here's the good stuff, or some good stuff at least.  
  
Dear Reviewers. I don't have time to write to you all, but thank you for the reviews!!!!! I never had this many before. *Cheeky smile* And I'm princess of Slash... *Big smile* All you non slashers, I don't care, Legolas/Aragorn 4ever!!! Don't read if you don't like.  
  
Warning: Slash, not graphic sex, but still kissing!!!  
  
  
  
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"Kindly pull the curtains down," Mîm sobbed, and buried her head in her pillow. Rosie sent her a blaming look, and put her hands on her hips. But she obliged anyway. Mîm had stumbled into their room at six in the morning, beer in one hand. Then she had stood frozen by the door, as Sauron's footsteps echoed down the hallway. Rosie remembered hearing something in the lines off "Going to sleep," and then Mîm had collapsed on her bed.  
  
"Drinking isn't allowed," Rosie said, more to herself then to Mîm.  
  
"And don't I know it," Mîm grinned, then clutched her head in pain. She noted never to move her face again.  
  
"Did Gimli survive??"  
  
Mîm thought about the question for several seconds, "I think..."  
  
Rosie raised her eyebrows, "You think??"  
  
"Well, jeesh, I was drunk," the dwarf uttered in an annoyed tone.  
  
Rosie smiled, "Like I didn't figure that one out."  
  
"I should go check on him..."  
  
"You should..."  
  
"In a moment..."  
  
Rosie shook her head, and pulled the curtains back. Mîm did a wonderful Nazgûl impression.  
  
********************************  
  
Pain. Soul-numbing, heartbreaking, head-blowing pain. Nefhuinëiel blinked a few times, adjusting her eyes to the light. She was in a bed. In only her shirt. With someone, a dark haired someone. In a room with a giant weed poster. Haldir and Figwit's room. She defied the pain of moving, and looked up.  
  
"Oh God."  
  
Figwit stirred, and opened his eyes. Then focused lazily on her, "Nef??" Now he frowned.  
  
"I repeat: Oh God." Nef turned her head the other way, and grabbed the painkillers on the nightstand, swallowing them dry.  
  
"We had sex," Figwit mused. Then a confident smile settled on his face. Nef glared at him and got up, walking for her jacket and skirt. Getting dressed and having a smoke would be nice.  
  
She stopped by Haldir's desk, "Oh, don't flatter yourself." She grinned evilly.  
  
"How do you know," Figwit drawled, and sat up, "You probably fell for my sinister attraction." He turned his head to Nef, only to find her holding up a note, in Haldir's scappy handwriting, saying "You didn't have sex!!". Figwit groaned, "Fine, fine, fine."  
  
Nef winked, and went out the door humming "Purple Pills".  
  
She barely got out before she was confronted by a young human girl. Dressed in black, dress thingie. "Hi!!"  
  
Nef cocked one eyebrow, "HI!!!" she chipped sarcastically.  
  
The girl didn't seem to catch the joke, "Do you know where Haldir lives??" The girl was practically bouncing.  
  
"Why?? Who are you??" Nef didn't feel like just giving such information away. Maybe Haldir owed someone money, or something.  
  
The girl smiled, showing off a row of blinding-ly white teeth, "I'm Fiora. I have something for him."  
  
Nef considered for a few seconds, "I don't know where Haldir lives."  
  
The smile faded for a few seconds, then came back, "Well, no harm in asking. Bye, have a nice day!!" Nef stared open-mouthed after the girl, as she waved and skipped (yes, skipped) around the corner.  
  
Nef blinked a few times, and shook her head in disbelieve. "Hi Nef- something-I-can't-pronounce," came a more "down to earth" voice.  
  
"Hi Éomer." Nef looked up at the blank face, and smiled briefly. Solid rock- calmness.  
  
"Um, did you see that girl??" Éomer's face was questioning, and curious. Nef liked that, no need to guess what he was feeling.  
  
"Yeah, the weird one, asking for Haldir??"  
  
Éomer nodded, "I thought I wouldn't tell her. With the knowledge of Haldir in the back of my mind, of cause."  
  
Nef grinned sadly, and nodded too, "Same here."  
  
There was a pause, "Why do you have 'Nef and Haldir 4 ever' craved on you forearm??"  
  
Nef froze, and looked down. Yep, Éomer was right. "I honestly, don't know."  
  
Éomer smiled, "Drinking is suck a bitch, eh?"  
  
"What did you do??" Nef asked in a giggle.  
  
Éomer smirked, "I came onto Arwretch."  
  
Nef was silent for a few seconds, then started laughing so hard, she had tears rolling down her cheeks. "Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball," Éomer muttered, only making Nef laugh harder.  
  
Someone shouted "shut up," from down the hall, and Nef seemed to get herself under control, "Yeah, mine is lame, compered to that." Éomer nodded with a sarcastic smile.  
  
Nef took a deep breath, and sighed, "Why is it, that all names from Rohan, had a "´" in it?"  
  
Éomer sent her a weird look, "How the hell would I know??"  
  
Nef shrugged, "You're from Rohan??"  
  
"So I'm supposed to know all about it??"  
  
"Nah..." Nef grinned, and patted him on the back. "Have a nice day, Éomer."  
  
The human smirked, "May yours be full of misery."  
  
Nef sighed, and gave him a hug before prancing down the hall. She felt like having a smoke, then a nap. Maybe kick some dwarf-ass. Preferably one that didn't kick back.  
  
************************  
  
Aragorn opened his eyes slowly. The body in his arms whimpered as he moved. Legolas, his blond-babe. He had to talk to Nef, maybe give her a present worthy of her glory. Maybe a crown... Or a Ferrari. "Headache?" Aragorn asked, nuzzling the male elf's neck.  
  
"The size of Mordor," came the answer.  
  
Aragorn smiled, and placed a kiss on the blond hair, "Poor baby."  
  
Legolas rolled to face him, and smiled briefly, "Hi."  
  
"Hi, do you want some painkillers??"  
  
Legolas sighed and buried his head and Aragorn's chest, "Kinda..." He murmured, and threw his arm around the humans' neck. Aragorn closed his eyes and hugged his love closer. "I have to thank Nef," Legolas said, muffled by Aragorn's chest.  
  
"Same here." Aragorn pulled back and waited. Legolas opened his eyes and glared. Of cause a pretty pathetic glare, but still a glare. It soon turned into a weak smile. Aragorn looked amused, and slowly slit a finger over the elf's cheek. Legolas sighed, closed his eyes again. The human leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the beautiful lips. Then another, deeper and filled with desire. Aragorn let his free hand (the one not trapped under Legolas) slide down the elf's perfect form, and was just reaching it's goal when...  
  
The door burst open, and both jumped. Legolas ended up tumbling down from the bed, and tried desperately to keep himself in there. This involved grabbing onto the cowers, which Aragorn weren't holding to tight onto. So Legolas fell on the floor, pulling the blanket with him, leaving Aragorn naked in the bed.  
  
"Oh God, I need a new room!!" Melianwen. Brilliant.  
  
Legolas stared at her for a few seconds, then closed his eyes in horror. No WAY she wasn't telling. Before he could even notice Aragorn's state of clothing, Melianwen had thrown a pillow at him. Legolas looked up at the blushing Aragorn and shrugged in apology. Damn, how embarrassing could it get?  
  
"Good thing I was stuck in Boromir's room," Melianwen muttered, as she picked her toothbrush from her trunk.  
  
Legolas, crawling up in Aragorn's bed again, found the time to raise an eyebrow, "You slept with Boromir??"  
  
Melianwen's ears turned pink, "No I didn't. I was in his room after closing hour, and we thought it was safest if I slept there."  
  
Aragorn smiled evilly, "In his bed??"  
  
"Yes. And he slept in a chair. Seems like he's more of a gentleman then any of you," the female growled. "Would the two of you mind getting dressed??"  
  
Legolas found his boxers on the floor, and got up, pulling them on, "You don't seem very surprised, concerning us," he said suddenly. Aragorn frowned, the elf was right.  
  
Melianwen smiled for the first time, in any of their company, "Oh please, even Boromir could tell you fancied each other."  
  
Aragorn groaned and took the pant's Legolas was offering him, "Were we the only people who couldn't??"  
  
"Most likely, yes," Melianwen grinned, and opened the door, walking out in the hallway. Her head popped back in, "Even though I hate you both, with the fire of a thousand suns, I'm happy for you."  
  
Legolas opened his mouth and closed it again. "Thank you very much, Melianwen," Aragorn answered, and Mel send them a small smile.  
  
Silence, while they both dressed. "When did she turn normal??" Legolas asked and looked up, "Did I miss the memo??"  
  
Aragorn looked thoughtful, "About the time she started hanging with Boromir, really..."  
  
Legolas smiled to himself, "God, this place is a pain."  
  
"Tell me about it," Aragorn responded, and pulled the elf to a kiss. Legolas sighed of happiness, and snuggled to the humans' chest.  
  
"It's not so bad"  
  
***************************  
  
"No sex, no drinking, no rule-breaking, no sex, no drugs, no music, no cutting lessons, no talking back, no disrespect for teachers and no sex!!!"  
  
Pearl finished the list, and gave Pippin a meaningful look, "What are we doing outside Principle Elrond's office??"  
  
Pippin looked around, then began picking the lock on a door a few meters from the center of horror, "We're about to have sex."  
  
Pearl looked outraged, "First of all: Oh, really?? Second of all: Here!?!?"  
  
Pippin smiled charmingly, "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm."  
  
"No kiddin'," Pearl murmured. The door opened, and Pippin pulled her inside. "I'm gonna rot in siners-hell."  
  
(A/N: Pearl hater ^.^ Can you see where I'm leading it, or do you need more hint's?? *CoughpregnanthobbitCough* How do you explain that to the school nurse??)  
  
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"Hi Faramir." Faramir jumped from his seat, as Nef walked into the room. "How are you this glorious morning??"  
  
Faramir shrugged, and muttered an "Okay."  
  
Nef paused and picked up a bottle of pills on his desk. "Sleeping-pills. Mind if I borrow one, I need to sleep though??" she asked boldly, and put on an innocent face.  
  
"Sure..."  
  
Nef opened the new glass, and took a pill. She received a coke from under her bed, and took it, before sitting down next to Faramir, "You seem beat."  
  
The boy sent her a puppy-eyed look, "I'm fine."  
  
Nef waited, but he didn't say anything. She sighed and got up. Looking closely at her roommate, didn't trigger any response, "I'll crash."  
  
"I'll by silent, or leave," Faramir muttered, and got up. Before Nef could stop him, he was gone.  
  
She frowned, but a drowsy 'sleeping-pills/codeine-mix-feeling' made her fall back on her bed with a smile. Now, sleep. There was a welcome prospect.  
  
******************  
  
Haldir greeted Glorfindel and The Twins, with a nod. "So, you heard Haldir??"  
  
The blond looked questioning at Elrohir, and shook his head, "Heard what??"  
  
"We're getting Latin," Glorfindel said and threw a lighter at him, "New teacher. Elf, and he's bringing a daughter."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Elladan frowned, "Haldir, in the old days you would've started making dirty jokes by now."  
  
The others nodded, but Haldir just shrugged. "Nefhuinëiel," Glorfindel said slowly. Haldir didn't look up, but the rest nodded knowingly.  
  
  
  
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A/N: Okay, late. Review, I'll hold a party if I ever get 100 reviews. That'd be SO cool. Anyways, still many to go. Flames will be used to heat my room (the radiator is broke ^.^) !!!! 


	10. The One with The Angst and The Drama

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Tolkein's aren't mine, mine aren't Tolkien's. That about narrows it down. The new elf is from Lily (Riders of Rohan), hail her.  
  
Beta: Jessa Sprite is the best. *Sends candy and chocolate-cowered-Haldir* She likes that.  
  
~*~A/N: I have ideas, and I want them out. Now this'll be crazy, I'm-home- Saturday-night-after-drinking-party-chappy. Fun ensures. Lily gave lot's of really funny idea's, so credit to her too.  
  
*^Warnings^*: Slash, m/m pairing, dwarf-bashing, suicide attempt, Nef's reading minds, and a purple cow with yellow spots. *Notice people staring at me* Yes, you heard me, a purple cow!!  
  
Reviewers:  
  
offspring-the-kids-aint-a: The girl is Fiora. She's a nice reviewer. I kinda like her, she wrote in a review that she wanted to go in and give Haldir some good weed. And I wrote her in.  
  
(Aiwendil: See, review kiddies!! Then you might get in the story.  
  
Legolas: Shameless commercial. Get on with it, I wanna shag Aragorn.  
  
Aiwendil: *Licks lips* Yummy. Actually, I might write an application-form, so you can join. Still, you'll be secondary characters, only for mentioning. Is that a good idea??)  
  
Other People: Who wanna kill me for making Haldir fall in love with Nef?? Who want them to get each other?? Who want's straight sex (between something taller then hobbit's)?? Raise hands, let your voice be heard. I'm already torturing poor happy-stoned-Haldir, but will I make it true love?? Actually, you'll see in this chapter. Am I evil or what?? *Pinkie to lip*  
  
I'm on 12 people's favourite's list's, and have 75 reviews. Yeah me!!! Thank you so super much. I never was this popular.  
  
Thoughts Nef hear, is in , K??  
  
  
  
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"I think she's a babe."  
  
"Thank you for sharing that with us, brother."  
  
Elladan and Elrohir seemed pleased with the new female elf. Glorfindel hadn't closed his mouth for ten seconds. Nef regarded the female by the door in silence, then looked questioning at Legolas. "She's okay," the male answered, and patted Nef on the shoulder.  
  
Nef looked again and frowned. All right?? She was hot, ya know?? Long dark hair, milky skin, big, green cutie-eyes. "She friggin' hot!!" the only human amongst them exclaimed. Nef could see Legolas giving Aragorn a glare, out of the corner of her eye. "Not compared to you though, my fair and oh- so-sexy- Legolas."  
  
Elladan groaned in annoyance, "Would you two lovebirds keep it down??"  
  
Legolas smirked, "We should all celebrate out love."  
  
"Just, maybe not in public," Glorfindel suggested, grinning at the pair. Nef smiled and looked down the hallway to the left for a few second, then turned to Aragorn, nodding. Problems, 9 o'clock.  
  
A few adjustments, and Aragorn was completely out of side, covered with elves. The girly bitches of hell, Pain and Panic, daughter of Elrond and sister of Éomer. You know who I'm talking about.  
  
Éowyn huffed at Nef, as she walked to her. Arwen, wearing a really low-cut shirt, spoke first, "Nice boots, Nefhuinëiel. Where did you get those, a dumpsite??"  
  
The boys glared evilly at the two, but noticed Nef held her hand up, telling them to keep quite. She looked down at the worn combat-boots (which she had borrowed from Aragorn). The were filled with mud, but matched her baggy Rambo-pants (from Figwit). Then a white undershirt of Legolas' and an army-necklace (Faramir, he had it from Boromir) completed the look. Of cause she had also added an army-hat (Faramir again). One of those blue, French (peace-keeping)-ones. "And, I'm sorry darling, but rough-army-chick is so last year." Éowyn looked quite pleased with herself.  
  
"I borrowed these boots from Aragorn," Nef said sweetly. Both girl stopped smiling, and Nef continued in a natural tone, "You know, my friend, who want's nothing to do with you two, at all."  
  
Silence, then all the boys starting roaring with laughter. Arwen nodded her head in the direction of the door, and both bitches headed in direction of the new girl. "They're gonna try getting the new girl on their team," Legolas sighed, when he could stand straight again.  
  
Aragorn nodded, then slapped Nef on the back, "Nice one."  
  
Nef sighed, "I try. We have Art now, am I right??"  
  
  
  
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"Disciplina Solerti Fingitur Ingenium," Melianwen red out loud. The school had put up new bronze letters. Probably because the pupils were going to have Latin now. "What does it mean??"  
  
Boromir shrugged, so Mablung looked the sentence over a few times, "Something about, beating being good for your spiritual development." Melianwen smiled ruefully, and Boromir sighed , while Mablung continued, "I heard Sauron applied for the government, to give teacher permission to hit us."  
  
"No, you're kidding," Melianwen choked out.  
  
Boromir shook his head, "No, I'm afraid not. I heard too."  
  
Mablung nodded, "It's the hard truth."  
  
Pause. "Don't we have class??"  
  
The boys stared at Melianwen for several moments, "So?"  
  
The girl squealed, as Boromir picked her up, and the three of them ran towards the woods.  
  
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"Hornblower, you're with Brandybuck, Took with."  
  
Pearl rolled her eyes, and hit her head against the table. Merry snorted, "Why, now I'm insulted."  
  
"I wanna be with Pip," Pearl whined, not lifting her head.  
  
Merry crossed his arms over his chest in a mature-way, "Well, you're stuck cutting frogs with me."  
  
"I hate Professor. What was it again??"  
  
"Radagast the brown," Merry answered, and pushed her head back up.  
  
Pearl sighed, then smiled, "There is good in the world."  
  
Merry raised an eyebrow, then noticed that Sam had been put with Frodo. He was blushing, and it looked like he was babbling too. Pearl beamed when Frodo smiled at him. Perfect.  
  
"Look who Pippin is with," Merry said casually, and tried pulling the guts out of the poor (dead) frog.  
  
Pearl turned her head, and felt her eyes water up. Diamond of Longcleeve. They were laughing. Pippin was laughing, joking about something, with Diamond of Longcleeve. He raised his head, and met Pearls eyes. Merry's voice tried to get to her, "Pearl, be a good lass, and get me a scalpel?? Pearl??" Merry yelled after the hobbit, but she was already out the classroom.  
  
"What happened??" Pippin walked over to Merry, and looked after the running lass.  
  
Merry paused, then hit him in the back of the head, "Well done!!"  
  
Pippin grimaced, cried out weakly and looked bewildered. Another hand hit him, "Yeah, well done!!" Sam hissed.  
  
"What did I do?? Tell me!!"  
  
Sam shook his head, and noticed Diamond smiling broadly from her place on her table. "Fool of a Took," he groaned and glared at the hobbit from Longcleeve.  
  
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"You must add COLOUR!!!" Saruman waved his arms a little too enthusiastically, and Nef ducked, when a paintbrush came flying though the room. There was a whine, and a thump when Arwrench hit the floor.  
  
Saruman started a speech about "how colourless his life had been before." Nef didn't really listen, but focused on her English book. 'Interview with a vampire' by Anne Rice. On the other side, she had a black-painted piece a paper.  
  
"I used to be white," Saruman cried in glee, "Then I found COLOUR!! I'm now Saruman the Many Coloured!!!"  
  
Legolas snorted, and pocked Nef in the rips, and Saruman approached them. "I see the young miss Anìron, needs colour," he grinned, and waved around with his staff. Nef ducked, as a beam of light hit her paper, and her book. She touched her hair carefully. It was still blond, and she had all her fingers. Legolas, who was looking pretty scared, was still an elf. Her painting was now a very ugly rainbow, but she was alive.  
  
Damn, they're not turned into something unnatural.  
  
Nef blinked and looked around. Where the hell did that voice come from?? Saruman left with a smile, and Legolas went back to splashing colours on his work of art. Nef shook her head, and went back to reading.  
  
I hate art-class.  
  
Nef turned her head sharply at Legolas, "Did you just say you hated art- class??"  
  
Legolas cowered his mouth with his palm, "I said that out loud??" The question was muffled by his hand.  
  
"I think." Nef murmured, and swallowed heavily.  
  
I need to watch my mouth  
  
"Yeah, you do," Nef said in an educating tone.  
  
Legolas looked bewildered, "I didn't say anything."  
  
Nef crooked an eyebrow at him, "You said, you needed to watch your mouth."  
  
"No I didn't, I thought something like that, but I didn't say nothing."  
  
Nef bit her lip, then rolled her eyes, "Bloody brilliant. Saruman got me reading minds."  
  
This is fucked up.  
  
"Tell me about it," Nef sighed, and looked across the room. "Think of a number."  
  
Legolas smirked, "This is crazy."  
  
"Minus 6," Nef said boldly "What kinda stupid number is that??"  
  
Legolas frowned, "You reading minds, that should be fun."  
  
Nef considered, then smiled evilly, "Oh, yes." Éowyn walked past them, heading for the catheter. Nef's eyes widened, "Bitch." Legolas looked bewildered. "She considered befriending me, to get to Aragorn."  
  
Why, that little slut!!!  
  
"Languish, Legolas." Nef turned at her book.  
  
Legolas looked remotely at his painting, "It's ugly."  
  
"It should be."  
  
"Won't you go crazy, like in Buffy??"  
  
Nef froze, then closed her eyes. She paused, "I've only heard yours and Éowyn. Maybe I only hear people close to me??"  
  
Legolas nodded and pondered for some seconds, "Yo, Glorie, get your lazy ass over here!!" he yelled casually.  
  
Glorfindel stood up, and walked to the two other blondes, a light sneer on his lips, "Yes??"  
  
Get on with it, Aragorn-Shagger.  
  
"Get on with it, Aragorn-Shagger," Nef quoted, and smiled. Then she actually thought about the meaning, "You're not nice."  
  
Glorfindel clasped a hand over his mouth, much like Legolas had done. Legolas growled, but waved his hand in dismiss, "Settles it then," he said lightly, "You can read the thought's of someone close to you. Stay away from the cafeteria."  
  
Nef picked up a pen and chewed the end, "Like I'd go anywhere near that place. It's filled with", she grimaced, "Hobbit's and Dwarfs."  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes, You're so over-sensitive.  
  
Nef shot him a glare, and Legolas began thinking about math. Then Nef pushed him away. Math, yuck.  
  
*********************  
  
Gaelwyn shuffled her feet, and looked in envy at the elves across the hall. They already fit in. But they looked nice. Rough-chick, Blond-babe, blond- babe the second, stoner-blonde, human-guy, dark-twin 1 and 2. That could work out, she could fit in. Maybe. Two females came in her direction, but she was saved by the bell.  
  
"Gaelwyn, come on in."  
  
Her father was smiling broadly. He looked like he always did, when he looked at her. Loving, and with that look, grown-ups have in their eyes when they look at babies. Damn it, she was nearly bloody 6000!! Gaelwyn sighed sadly, and followed her father inside the office.  
  
"Ah, so this is Gaelwyn."  
  
Gaelwyn smiled a fake smile at the dark haired elf behind the desk, but he didn't seem to notice. "Hello, Lord Elrond, pleased to meet you."  
  
Her father looked proud, and Elrond smiled, picking up a bundle of papers. That would be her case-files. "Gil-Galad, I must say, your daughters case is kind of special." He now looked serious, and kind of concerned.  
  
Gaelwyn rolled her eyes. Here they went again, talking about her like she wasn't there. Her father did that, besides considering her a perfect angel. Like that wasn't bad enough.  
  
"Elrond, old friend, I can assure you, my daughter is a fantastic, intelligent and disciplined child," her father said, and puffed up his chest.  
  
Elrond looked at his friend for some seconds, then turned to Gaelwyn, "Say's here, she burned down the left wing of her old school."  
  
Gaelwyn smiled, and wiggled her fingers. Her father began talking about "accidents", "bad influence" and "racist, elf-hating, teachers." Gaelwyn looked out the window behind her upcoming principal. Three human were running over the lawn, heading for the woods. Discipline-school, her ass.  
  
Elrond's voice tore her from the daydreaming, "Here you will find the world changing," he said proudly, "You'll enjoy the learning." Gaelwyn rolled her eyes when the elders started discussing her father teaching. Poor student, the only one her father had any pity on. was her.  
  
There was a knock on the door. A guy in armour came in. Elrond looked quite annoyed, and the guy mentioned some strange human (dressed as a Nazgûl) in search of an elf. Gaelwyn didn't listen. She twiddled her thumbs, and considered how to smuggled vodka and Cosmo's to her room.  
  
Elrond finished his talk with, what seemed to be the security guy. "Any special wishes for house??" he asked Gil-Galad, and Gaelwyn rolled her eyes again. Was she invisible??  
  
"Dain, they're the most upper classed, right??"  
  
Elrond smiled, "Dain, it is. I have just the right place." He held out a paper to her father, who passed it to Gaelwyn. Room 42, a single-room, way to gain friends. Gaelwyn heard her voice thank politely, in the same empty tone, she always used when speaking to grown-ups. Her mind was screaming.  
  
(A/N: Kinda spooky, isn't it??)  
  
*********************  
  
Mîm walked in a big circle, avoiding two chatting elves. Gimli had asked her to get some beer to his room, and family is the most important thing in the world. She smiled politely at Sauron, and knocked the door to her cousins room. Gimli ushered her in and closed the door.  
  
"The weirdest thing just happened," he mumbled and grabbed the ale from his cousin's school-bag.  
  
Mîm looked sceptic, "You got your ass kicked, again??" She pointed at the black eye she noticed he was developing.  
  
Gimli sighed annoyed, "That's not the point." Mîm smirked, but Gimli continued, "I was planning to trip the male, but the female hit me."  
  
"So, this time a girl kicked your ass," Mîm stated and shook her head.  
  
Gimli blinked, "Still not the point. It was like she could read my mind." Gimli sneered and punched an invisible foe.  
  
Mîm shrugged, "Or you're getting old." There was a pause. "A female kicked your ass."  
  
Gimli growled, and swallowed his beer in one take.  
  
*********************  
  
Legolas was smiling like a sun, "Damn, that was great."  
  
Nef smiled sarcastically and rubbed her fist. Who knew dwarfs had such hard faces??  
  
So reading minds can pay off.  
  
"You should be thanking me more," Nef pointed out, "At least do it orally," Legolas winked and Nef rolled her eyes, "Not mentally," she ended, and punched Legs lightly on the arm.  
  
What did he do??  
  
"He was planning to trip you, so I hit him first," Nef explained causally, "That way, I didn't even hurt your manliness, by protecting you. I know how males feel about strong women."  
  
I'm gay, remember?  
  
Nef turned her head at the smiling elf, "It looks stupid, that I'm talking, but you're not. Talk."  
  
Why?? This is easier  
  
Nef shrugged. Oh, how this would work, she couldn't wait to find out.  
  
"How did it happen??"  
  
Legolas looked utterly bewildered, "How would I know??"  
  
Silence, Nef didn't even bother reading Legolas' mind. She snapped her fingers, "The book, the vampire book."  
  
A-what??  
  
Nef smiled satisfied, "Lestat can read minds."  
  
Legolas smiled, "So, you'll be getting fangs too??"  
  
*****************************  
  
"Pearl, honestly. You're overreacting." Sam tried his best to look sympathetic. It was fairly hard, especially since Frodo had smiled at him. Not a big smile, but a small, shy smile. Sam sighed, and noticed Pearl glaring at him, "What??"  
  
Pearl sobbed dryly, and crawled under her cowers, "I'm never talking to him again."  
  
Sam rolled his eyes, even though Pearl couldn't see that, "He didn't even understand what he did wrong."  
  
"So, he's stupid too," came the muffled reply.  
  
Sam shrugged, "Won't you come out??"  
  
Pause. "No."  
  
"Please??"  
  
Pearls head appeared from under her pillow. Her hair was muffled, and a big pout was settled on her face. Sam smiled, "Pip knows a bitch when he sees one."  
  
Pearl smiled uncertainly, "Does he??" (A/N: Okay, extended DVD lines. Shot me.)  
  
Sam nodded, "You just glare at him, and he'll fall to his knees begging your forgiveness," he smiled, and padded Pearl's head.  
  
She sighed and jumped around the other neck, "I love you Samwise Gamgee."  
  
Sam grinned and hugged the smaller lass, "I'm finding myself loving you too, Pearl Hornblower."  
  
(A/N: Ain't platonic, straight, friendship-love great??)  
  
**********************  
  
(A/N: I don't own Buffy. I stole all this dialogue from the episode "Earshot". I'm to lazy to make up my own. Sue my, it's the middle of the night. And Othello is really great, I love that Iago. He's smart.)  
  
"Jealousy!"  
  
Legolas turned his head to glare at Nef. Of cause, how would you use an ability like mind-reading?? To impress the teachers, who believe you're stupid.  
  
Galadriel looked sceptically surprised, "Miss Anìron. Right. Very good."  
  
Aragorn stared at her in disbelieve, as did the rest of the gang. Nef turned to look at Boromir.  
  
I knew that. He frowned at her, and looked back to Shakespeare's Othello. Nef smiled, innocent as a lamb.  
  
Galadriel continued in her dramatic tone, "Jealousy, clearly, is the tool that Iago used to undo Othello. But what's his motivation? What reason does Iago give for destroying his superior officer?  
  
Nef scinted her eyes, and focused on the teacher. Cassio has my place...Twixt my sheets he's done my office...  
  
Nef blinked, then raised her hand in one shift movement, "He was passed over for promotion, and Cassio was picked instead... and people were saying Othello slept with his wife."  
  
All eyes were on her in two seconds flat. You dirty little. came Legolas' inner voice. Nef smiled dashingly.  
  
She turned around, and found Haldir staring at her, looking more surprised then usual. Nef did the reading. Nef understood the reading.  
  
Aragorn's thought's came to her, sounding kind of worried, When did she study? Was I supposed  
  
to study? Damn, Legolas is hot.  
  
Nef rolled her eyes, and caught Boromir's gaze again, I was going to say Cassio. I despise her. That sounded not so rude, didn't it?? Nef smiled sweetly, and tapped her pencil on the book.  
  
Galadriel seemed to gain control of herself, but kept staring at Nef for several seconds, "Any other reason?"  
  
Boromir practically jumped from his seat, "Race!!"  
  
Galadriel smiled uncertainly, "Uh... good, Denethor's son. Can't overlook that."  
  
Boromir smirked, In your face, Elfie Nef glared and went back to reading Galadriel.  
  
"Iago makes a lot of references to Othello's color, but he never specifically cites race as a motive. Is there something else at work here?"  
  
Legolas noticed Nef listening intently while Galadriel spoke, translating the teacher's thoughts into her words. Nef smiled evilly at him, then spoke. "Well, he almost admits to himself that his motives are spurious, he just does things because he enjoys them. It's almost like he's not a person, like he's a force of nature - the dark half of Othello himself, Othello's fear and rage sort of... embodied..."  
  
This time, the stares were more intense, then those of Sauron. Whoa!! Nef could hear Legs, Boromir, Aragorn, Galadriel, Elladan, Arwen and Haldir thinking the exact same thing.  
  
Galadriel now looked respectful, "Miss Anìron. Really, very astute. I said something quite like that in my  
  
dissertation."  
  
Nef smiled, "I know." She quickly changed the answer, " I mean, I agree. With that."  
  
Galadriel smiled at her, and continued in a lighter tone, as if knowing at least one student got it right, gave her comfort, "Yes, and doesn't that also explain Othello's readiness to believe Iago? Within seconds he turns on Desdemona, believes that she's unfaithful. And we're all like that; we all have little internal  
  
Iagos telling us our husbands or our girlfriends or whatever don't really love us. We can never see what's in their hearts. We doubt. We worry."  
  
Nef wondered about that for a second, then smirked at Legolas, who shook his head in despair.  
  
Galadriel continued, as Nef placed her head on her table with a sigh. Good to by mind-reader.  
  
"Most of us don't go to as extreme  
  
measures as Othello, thank goodness..."  
  
************************  
  
Mablung let out a big portion of air, "I think he left."  
  
Melianwen pecked out the blue door, "This was stupid. We should've followed Boromir to History."  
  
Isildur nodded, and lit up a smoke. They had accidentally bumped into him on the way back to class, and he had insisted they stayed for a smoke. Boromir hadn't stayed. And now, they were hiding from Sauron, in the boys washroom. What a great day.  
  
Melianwen coughed, and slapped Isildur on the back, "Don't smoke, you twit."  
  
"It will make it easier to find us," Mablung added, and tapped the side of his nose.  
  
Isildur rolled his eyes, and threw the cigarette into the toilet. It could turn out to be a very long day.  
  
********************  
  
"Nef. Reads. Minds?"  
  
Oh God  
  
Nef tilted her head, as Aragorn desperate thought's reached her, "No kiddin'."  
  
In one shift movement, all elves had moved out of her reach. Haldir's eyes widened, and he took a long drag from his newest joint. Glorfindel eyed her nervously, while Elladan and Elrohir smiled fake smiles. Nef pouted, and stared irritated at Aragorn. He looked desperate, the lowered his eyes quickly. How am I to make this. I think about sex all the time. Sex. HELP!!! Three times five is fifteen, four time six is twenty-four. Naked men. Naked Legolas. Naked Elves. Naked Nefhuinëiel. Stop me!!  
  
Nef put her hands on her hips, "Jeesh, Aragorn is that all you think about??"  
  
"Actually," Aragorn smiled, in a freaked out kinda way, "Bye." In two seconds flat, Aragorn had left the gang.  
  
I'm following the man, okay??  
  
"Sure," Nef said remarked dryly, as Legolas pointed and ran after his human lover.  
  
Glorfindel inhaled and leaned back against a tree, This is actually interesting. I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Nefhuinëiel contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. "Huh," his real voice added. Nef cocked an eyebrow, now that's deep thought's.  
  
Elladan was blinking, looking dazed, Is that a purple cow?? Note to self: Don't ever take anything Haldir offers you. Elrohir was biting his bottom- lip Wonder if it'll go away, "When do you think it'll go away??"  
  
Nef shrugged, and frowned as Glorfindel's continued his deep philosophising, No one else exists either. Nef is all of us. We think, therefore she is.  
  
I have to stay away from her. She shouldn't find out.  
  
Nef blinked and snapped her head in Haldir's direction. He shifted nervously, "Find out what??" Nef asked innocently.  
  
Before she could react, Haldir jumped up, and put out his joint. I'm in love with.you. He pranced out the clearing, a look of being caught on his features. Nef stared dump-struck, and there was a mingle of Oh, shit's from the other elves.  
  
********************  
  
Pearl sulked, and glared at Pippin. A pathetic glare, but still a glare. "You really screwed up, talking with her," she remarked dryly.  
  
Pippin rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry, I was put together with her. I had to speak with her."  
  
"Couldn't it had been, like, a mean sort of speaking then??" Pearl asked, sounding both sad and angry. Add sarcastic.  
  
Pippin crossed his arms over his chest, in a determined manner, "What is your problem with Diamond of Longcleeve??"  
  
Pause, in which Pearl could shift uncomfortable, and look wounded, "She fancies you," She whispered, and continued in a desperate tone, "And there's no way I can compete with her."  
  
Pippin blinked, but then his face twisted into a huge grin, "You silly, silly hobbit." Pearl tried some more glaring, but Pip stopped her, by hugging her tight, "Who would even look at Diamond, when they could have you??" he murmured into Pearl's sandy curls.  
  
Pearl just relaxed, and slumbered happily into Pippin's arms. Outside the door, Merry got up from the keyhole and gave Sam a high-five, before they both walked away from the dorm-room. Sam in search of Frodo, and Merry in search of food.  
  
********************  
  
Nef slammed the door behind her, and began prancing back and forth through her room. She noticed Faramir laying with his back at her, so there was one.  
  
"I had the most frustrating day," she started in a serious tone, and sat on her bed. "First, Saruman gives me Lestat's ability to read minds, then I kick dwarf-ass, then I rock at History." She rubbed her temples and sighed, "Then I have to listen to the perverted thoughts of the whole gang of males, only to find out, that one of my best friend, maybe my best friend, is in love with me." Nef took a brief breath, "That does explain the gazes, and the knife-craving, but I would never suspect he was in love with me." She got up, and resumed the walking back and forth. "So here I am, now friendless, because who would wanna spend time with someone, who you can't have ANY secrets from. No one, they're practically afraid of me. They run away!!"  
  
Nef groaned and sat on her bed again. Something didn't seem right. The room was. silent. "Faramir." she paused, "Why aren't you.thinking??" It was in that moment, when she got up, her gaze went past the small bottle. Nef leaped to Faramir's bed, and picked it up, hand's shaking. The sleeping- pills, no correction, now the empty bottle where they should be. Which matched the half empty bottle of Vodka, laying under the bed.  
  
Nef blinked, then jumped up, practically tearing Faramir off the bed. "Wake up, you git!!" she gasped, and shook his shoulder violently. No response. Oh, she couldn't do this. The elf looked desperately around the room, what should she do? You could get a teacher, but then Faramir would get send away, or put in some hospital. That would really kill. Boromir. Nef scrambled off the floor, and stumbled out in the hall. Shit, tears were already forming in her eyes. She wasn't good at pressure.  
  
Boromir's room, 46. She took a deep breath, and ran at the door, almost falling in her baggy pant's. Boromir looked pretty shocked when she tore open the door, only being able to choke out, "Faramir."  
  
Nef sobbed lightly, as Boromir cradled his younger brother in his lab. "I need to help," she stated firmly, and dried her eyes.  
  
Boromir frowned for a second Why? "Why?"  
  
Okay, more simple then in history, it seemed. "Because he's my friend," Nef said firmly, and kneeled beside the pair.  
  
Boromir's thoughts went to fast for Nef to even bother reading them, "Get the soap from the bathroom, and the trash-can when you pass it again."  
  
How she managed not falling this time, was questionable. But when she stumbled into the room, Boromir's mental response was Fast. "Just hold him, please??" Nef did as she was told, and stubbornly refused to notice what was going on. The smell of the liquid soap tinkled her nostrils, and when she felt Faramir's stomach contrast, she buried her face in his cashmere-blouse. Silence, "Help me get him back to bed." Nef nodded, and did as told.  
  
I just wish he'd stop this. Nef registered the thought, and planned to look after Faramir's stuff some more.  
  
She sat back heavily on the floor, and looked up at Boromir's face. Usually it was always cold, but now he looked worried, loving and, well, sad. He turned to face her, and sighed, What to say? Nef paused, "You don't have to say anything, just think really loud. Saruman made me read minds." No need to keep it secret from Boromir.  
  
A tiny frown planted itself on the human's face, So that's how you got good at history. Nef smiled slightly, "Yeah, Galadriel thinks a lot." Boromir nodded, Thank you. Nef looked as understanding as Éomer could, when it came to hangovers, "I know you hate my friends, so I understand that you can't say it."  
  
She gasped, as Boromir leaned in and kissed her forehead, before pulling her into a tight hug. Regaining her senses, she hugged back. "Thank you." It was muffled by her hair, but he said it.  
  
This is weird.  
  
Nef nodded, let go, and then got up. "I have to go," Boromir murmured, "I have extra English."  
  
"I'll stay. I'll look after him," Nef said and padded Boromir's shoulder. Nice, wonder if he worked out?? Bad thoughts.  
  
"Just, would you sit on the bed?? Talk to him, cuddle him a bit??" Boromir suddenly found the floor interesting. "When he wakes. Tell him how disappointed I am, okay??"  
  
Nef smiled reassuringly, and nodded, "You're wish is my command."  
  
Thank you, again.  
  
Boromir went and kissed his brother's cheek. He turned quickly, and strode out the door. Nef sighed, and sat beside the still lifeless form on the bed, "You screwed up this time," she said boldly, only because Faramir couldn't respond. She brushed a lock of soft hair from his forehead, "Aragorn would kill at least one of us, if he saw us like this." The elf sighed deeply, "You're one silent one, aren't you??"  
  
Faramir whimpered, and flinched. Nef smiled thinly, and somewhat worried, "Drama-queen," she responded, and lay down next to the sleeping form, of cause still facing him. "How could you even do this??" Nef groaned, he was still sleeping, and she came up with all the good questions now. "Funny, really. Hey, when you wake up, I'm gonna take you shopping. Maybe we can even get a permission," she winked, and stroked his hair again. He still smelled of soap. "You might wanna brush your teeth, when you're up again." Nef paused, "I still don't get you, you could've talked to me. To Boromir. Hell know, Wormtongue wasn't the best opportunity. But this, you're so gonna get your ass kicked, when you wake, oh son of Gondor." She took a deep breath, and waited. With a shrug, she kissed his nose lightly, and snuggled into the cowers. Even worse if Haldir walked in. "G'night. Afternoon, really." Nef sighed and feel asleep, letting one arm hug her room-mate.  
  
***************************  
  
A/N: I think that went okay. Humor and angst. Late, but long. I like it, you review. Now, I'll take some painkillers, and go to bed. Yes, sleep good. I think we'll have some Frodo/Sam soon. Maybe. 


	11. Love is in the air, or maybe it's smoke

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine today either. I am working on it though.  
Beta: Jessa Sprite. Cherish the beta, give her hot Elves and never stop sweet-talking her. Isn't that right? My first beta-reader, my first big- success story, It goes hand in hand.  
A/N: I'm really in a chatty-mood. But I have a small problem, because of all these wonderful reviews (save one.), the first thing I say, when I see some story with less, is "I have more reviews then you, nah-nah-na-na- nah!!" It's disturbing. I'm getting greedy on reviews. So, send more reviews, I love them. I have 103!!! It's wild. Hey, party in the next chapter. Weeeee, a celebration of all you lovely people, it's great. I feel good, can you tell?? I never had this many reviews, I'm so up and running. Okay, done with the babbling now. Mostly.  
Warning: Slash and swearing. Other bad stuff.  
Reviewers (I did you all, crazy):  
  
Kat : See, I hear you with Haldir and Nef. Her and Figwit are more, romantically involved, if you can put it that way. From Figwit's side, anyway. Now, Nef has a basic 'great-friendship' with Haldir, and loves him like a friend (she even told Faramir that). But I wonder if her feelings could change, now that she knows he feels stronger for her. And thank you for the nice things you said. And there is granted some explaining from Faramir for this chapter.  
  
offspring-the-kids-aint-a : I'm a smile. Uh, the worlds first Nef/Haldir fan. It's so cool, thank you.  
  
Quenn Of Slash : You just keep pushing it honey, but I had my slash-part filled for this story. And you got lovely Leggy/Aragorn sappiness. Hee, I'm Princess of Slash. Sorry, I just can't forget.  
  
Aerin : I'm glad you just said "soap-opera". Saying "Days of our lives", would have got you killed. Well, jeesh, we 'could' make it stereo-type American soap-opera. First, everybody will sleep with everybody, regardless their sex. Then half will get pregnant. Regardless their sex... *Giggle* That sounds fun, doesn't it?? ^.^ I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning.  
  
Fiora-da-Insane : See all July people are crazy. Just fate. Okay, so you're never getting normal. I think we'll catch you, and force you to take classes. (Did you hear that people!!!! Suck up, and you'll get in the story!!!) Faramir is. Lily wants Gaelwyn to have him. Last week she was for Glorfindel, so you never know actually.  
  
DeeSarrachi : Thank you, my little Pearl/Pip hater. I figured you, as a Pippin lover, would enjoy Diamond getting kicked. It's something we shamelessly enjoy, the pervy-hobbit-fanciers we are. So, actually, I can just write you in. You can kick Diamond, and rape Pippin. Maybe you'd seem kinda bitchy if you do that. Ah well, give me a hobbit-y name for you. Or you can be human, your call.  
  
Insanegoth : Another blessed Nef/Haldir fan. Wow, I'm so blessed with you people. You're party is scheduled for chapter 12, all tall people invited. Smaller will turn up anyway (^.^). Party will be held in the fire tunnels, use the small hatches under the sofas. Now that sounds like a fun party- invitation, does it not?? Faramir I'm working on, and you go girl!!  
  
Lady Idril : Uh, I so like you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! Of course you can be in the story, Elf?? You'll be at the party, maybe a little sister of someone. I don't know, you write me. Okay, you loving Haldir and Nef, great, I love you. It's so cool, people usually go "I want Haldir". But not my reviewers, no you are better then that. *Sigh of happiness*  
  
Neko-youkai : Thank you, and thank you for pointing that out. You, m'dear, have proved the higher meaning with reviews. Making the author do better next time. I'm glad you wrote my mistake, I hate knowing I keep doing something wrong. Thank you, again.  
  
Alona the Evil Authoress : Hmm, I think I'm happy for you hyper-ness. And, mind-reading does come in handy to begin with, but look where it got Nef. The only people around her are asleep. The rest run away, because they don't want their secrets reviled. I'm getting way to deep. Everybody's leaving Nef, except Legolas, who finds it practical. Poor elf.  
  
hiddendreamland : Thank you kind Miss. *Blushes* I'm so glad you liked the suicide scene. Not liked it like that. you know what I mean. And you love Nef, someone love something I made up!! This is huge. And the Haldir thing, you love that too. I'm so happy, thank you so super much.  
  
asia : Angst-lover. Your idea is. I just need a few minutes to think. Okay, I thought, you're part in. This is gonna be funny. Thank you for the review.  
  
Nerwen Calaelen: Thank you, very much, and I look forward to writing it.  
  
GelliBean: You need wackiness, it's unhealthy to be serious all the time. Thank you for complimenting my work *Bows*  
  
Merenwen : *Bows to applause* Thank you, thank you very much.  
  
Danish Person : Hejsa, jeg har sendt dig en mail.  
  
ZJ : Hello girly!! Glad you liked it. And not to brag. I got more points in the math test then you did, nah-nah-na-na-nah!! *To other people* Highest, with no errors, was 75. I got 65, she only got 64. Little difference, but still. I'm BETTER!!!  
  
Lady Idril (again): *Evil crackle* I'm a creative genius. I'm so happy, you're the "take you're time" person. *Thumbs up*  
  
CleopatraVII : Thanks.  
  
Lela : *Smile* Me like you. I send you that mail, and you probably got it by now.  
  
Ara : Coming, I have terms tests, it's my life before my fanfiction. NOTE THIS PEOPLE!!!!!  
  
michelleforworld-domination : I so adore you Nef/Haldir people. Thank you!!  
  
That was all reviews of chapter 10. I'm never doing it again.  
Ps. (Written Sunday. I wrote it at 4 o'clock in the night, after a trip to XL Dance (Danish report: I'm 15, and I can get into discos where you have to be 21. Pays off having a friend who sleeps with the doorman and the DJ. She's kinda slutty.) I wasn't exactly drunk, just extremely. up and runnin'. Filled with coffee and chocolate.  
**************************  
(Faramir's POV. Really. I'm bored with writing all the thoughts.)  
  
Faramir blinked his eyes open, and held his breath. He was seemingly alive, and with an extremely bad taste in his mouth. Shit. He shifted, and found that there was another body in his bed. A body, which groaned and snuggled up at him. Faramir blinked and sat up. Nefhuinëiel's open eyes looked blankly at him. Faramir waved a finger in front of them, but she didn't react. Oh, yes, Elves sleep with open eyes, he mused and sat up. Nef's eyes slipped from clouded to focused, and turned to look at him.  
  
"Boromir is disappointed," she whispered slowly after a second, and sat up on the pillow.  
  
Faramir blinked a few times, and broke down crying on the Elf's welcoming shoulder.  
  
Nef closed her eyes and tried to block out the thoughts of pain going though Faramir's head. It didn't work, and she herself made a promise.  
**************************  
"Haldir, did you think about." Figwit paused, and sighed, "Liking Nef?"  
  
Haldir looked up from the floor. He'd been listening to Blink 182 and counting smokes for several hours, non-stop. Figwit was actually worried. "I might've," the blond replied, and gulped.  
  
Figwit scratched his neck, "Well, we'll see if she feels the same, then."  
  
Haldir looked dangerously sober, "I guess." He trailed off, "What do you think?"  
  
The dark Elf groaned, and plopped down beside Haldir, "You're asking the one who wanted to shag her recently, you do know that??"  
  
"In your dreams," Haldir smiled briefly, "She's been rejecting you since you met her," he smirked, "She used to call you Dimwit."  
  
"Really?" Figwit said with a small smile.  
  
Haldir nodded, "And, not like you, she liked me from the beginning."  
  
Figwit shook his head, the smile still on his face, "Well, you grow on people." Short pause. "So, when did she stop calling me Dimwit??"  
  
Haldir smirked, "Still does."  
  
Figwit threw a pack of smokes at his roommate, and got up. Packing for the class trip would be good. Now, what do you bring on a trip the Emyn Muil??  
*************************  
Sam looked up from his poetry and looked questionably at Pearl, "Are you all right??"  
  
Pearl shrugged, "I don't feel very good."  
  
"Maybe you're getting sick," Sam suggested, and looked somewhat worried.  
  
Pearl nodded, "Maybe. Did you hear??"  
  
Sam replied, although he had turned back to his homework, "Hear what?"  
  
"Dain- and Morie house are going to Emyn Muil," Pearl said with a smile, "Glad I'm not them."  
  
Sam nodded, "Me too."  
  
"So, how are things with you and Frodo?" Innocent question, really.  
  
Sam blushed, "Fine."  
  
Pearl smirked proudly, "So, things are going good, nice to know."  
  
Sam sent her a half-hearted-dirty look. The lass sighed, "All you need is love," she sang sweetly, and picked up the nearest book, "When did WW2 end??"  
  
"Look it up."  
  
Pearl rolled her eyes, "Prude."  
  
Sam smiled, and went back to Poetry stuff. And thinking about Frodo. It might turn out to be a very sweet poem.  
*************************  
"You know, fleeing from Nef was kinda rude."  
  
Legolas pouted softly, and slipped off his chair. Aragorn cocked an eyebrow, and stared intensely at the elf, "Oh, really??"  
  
Legolas nodded, the pout still on his face, making him look extremely adorable. He practically slid to Aragorn's chair and leaned towards him, "What were you thinking about?"  
  
Aragorn groaned as Legolas gracefully placed himself on Aragorn's lap, and moved slowly back and forward. "Firstly you."  
  
Legolas smiled, and nibbled the human's earlobe, "Then?"  
  
Aragorn took a short gasp-like breath, "You naked."  
  
The blond Elf pulled back briefly, and smiled, "Something like this?" he asked innocently, and pulled off his white shirt. Aragorn smiled cheekily and nodded, before pulling the Elf into a deep kiss. He had to stop this, the rooms weren't exactly soundproof. Oh what the hell, just this once.  
*************************  
Elrond stared in horror at the paper on his desk. He could feel a small nagging pain in his left temple, "This is unbelievable," he murmured.  
  
Celeborn leaned over the desk, "What is it?? I didn't open it."  
  
Elrond looked at him with a dazed impression, "The school in Lothlórien is burned to the ground." He swallowed the giant lump in his throat, "They are sending their students."  
  
Celeborn grabbed the paper, and scanned it, "But, that's more than."  
  
"Exactly 34 Rivendell and Lórien Elves, including," Elrond threw two cases on the desk, "The two responsible for the fire, if you believe the rumours."  
  
Celeborn picked up the files, "Rumil and Orophin. Aren't they.?"  
  
"Brothers of Haldir, yes, but they weren't considered as bad as him. Apparently they were." Elrond lowered his head, until it rested on his desk. Celeborn but the files down, "We have to open the old eastern wing, we don't have room for that many elves."  
  
Elrond nodded, "Do it, and remember, they're most likely leaving in a month or two."  
  
Celeborn padded the principal on the back and walked out. Elrond sobbed dryly.  
  
There was a careful knock, "Excuse me?"  
  
Elrond looked up with a frown, "Miss Anìron I believe."  
  
The girl nodded, "I have a problem, and I need to talk to you."  
  
Elrond wasn't sure he liked the sound of it.  
************************  
Mîm greeted Rosie with a short nod, and picked up her lunch, "I'm starving."  
  
Rosie regarded her in silence, before, "Sauron was in here."  
  
Mîm choked on her ham, "What!?!"  
  
"He was looking for booze, but he didn't find your hiding place," Rosie calmed her, and continued in a lighter tone, "They're saying the elves are planning a secret party. Only big people."  
  
"Oh, really," Mîm felt like crackling, "That could get fun."  
  
Rosie sighed, and turned her chair to face her dwarfen roommate, "You would get bitch-slapped up and down main-street and around the next ten blocks."  
  
"Well, maybe I like it," the dwarf suggested, and swallowed a mouthful. "Elvin drinking parties should be much fun."  
  
The hobbit rolled her eyes, "You have fun."  
  
"Oh, I will," Mîm mused, and smiled evilly, "I will."  
*************************  
Gaelwyn bumped clumsily into the wall, "Look where you're going," she muttered in an annoyed tone, and looked up. Okay, not looking up when you are rounding a corner is stupid, but hey, her life sucked.  
  
A human stared dump-struck at her, "Sorry."  
  
'Okay, again, way to make friend' Gaelwyn thought, and got up, "Not a problem."  
  
The boy looked her over for several seconds, most likely trying to remember her, "You're new." Good conclusion.  
  
Gaelwyn nodded, "Yes, I am. Gaelwyn, and you are??"  
  
Pause. "Faramir."  
  
Gaelwyn tasted the name a few times, "That's a nice name, Faramir. Could you tell me where room 42 is??"  
  
Faramir pointed down the hall, "Just down there."  
  
"Thank you," Gaelwyn looked after the boy, as he went down the hall. She sighed, and continued her walk. Well her first cute encounter, that wasn't so bad.  
  
And before she new it, "Why hello there." Gaelwyn turned and frowned. Blond Elf, leaning casually against the opposite wall, "I'm Glorfindel."  
  
Gaelwyn knew the tone, "Really?? What makes you think I give a damn??"  
  
Glorfindel sighed, "Well, it was worth a try.??"  
  
"Gaelwyn". Short, to the point, easy, but don't make him run tell everyone you're a bitch. Come on girl, play it cool. Gaelwyn took a deep breath, and smiled thinly.  
  
"So, want me to introduce you to the crowd??" Glorfindel looked smugly, and Gaelwyn realised he had the upper hand. He knew this game, offer to get her into the society. Good Elf.  
  
"Does the crowd involve the snobs?"  
  
"Nope," Glorfindel grinned, and went to open her door, "Throw your bags, and we'll go say hi."  
  
Gaelwyn did as told, and strolled after Glorfindel, "You're lucky; all the important people are gathered for the meeting."  
  
"What meeting?" Gaelwyn battered her eyelashes.  
  
"Party," Glorfindel replied, "Illegal party planning."  
  
Gaelwyn smiled brightly, if there was anything she was good at, it would be planning secret parties. Something you learned when your father was Gil- Galad.  
*************************  
Nef opened the door in a determent manner, and scanned the room for a seat. Legolas and Aragorn were snuggling in Haldir's chair, so that left the nearest bed. Haldir and Figwit jumped out of her reach, "Don't strain yourself guys, I'm mind-reading free."  
  
Nef sat by the headboard, next to Éomer, who sent her a funny look, "Mind reading??"  
  
"Over, no need to explain," the Elf shrugged it off, and smiled around Glorfindel's dorm room. She stopped, "New girl!" she exclaimed cheerfully, and waved, "I'm Nefhuinëiel, but everybody calls me Nef."  
  
"Gaelwyn," the female answered and smiled. Nef new the 'afraid to fit in'- feeling. She had it, and Legolas introducing her to the others had helped. Of course, Nef was fairly good at hiding specific emotions, uncertainty one of the better. Nef smiled brightly again.  
  
Éomer eyed her suspiciously, "You seem more cheerful then usual. What are you on??"  
  
Haldir raised his hand, "And can I have some??"  
  
Nef giggled a very Haldir-ish giggle, "It's the potion Elrond gave me to take away the telepathy. It makes you bouncy."  
  
"We can tell," Figwit grinned, and tapped the side of his nose knowingly.  
  
"Okay, would people and Elves please shut their holes?!?" Elladan had got up, and hushed the group. Elrohir was beaming by his side, "We all know why we're here, don't we??"  
  
"Party-time!!" Legolas cheered from Aragorn's lap.  
  
The rest laughed controlled, and Elladan took the word again, "After the trip to Emyn Muil, we will all go back to our rooms." He waited 'till everybody had nodded in agreement. "The party is held in the basement of the eastern wing."  
  
"It's being opened," Nef piped in, "I peeked at Elronds files."  
  
"We're aware of that, but it's still sealed up. The opening isn't before Monday," Elrohir added, and puffed out his chest proudly.  
  
Elladan continued in a professional manner, "Now how to get out of your rooms without being caught, we demonstrate." He nodded at Elrohir who began explaining, in a voice very similar to that of a stewardess.  
  
"Each room must have at least three fire-exits. That means that all rooms contain," He removed one of Haldir's beanbag-chairs, "A fire-tunnel."  
  
Cartoon-like gasps and ooh's. Elrohir nodded, "Just open," he opened, "And crawl east. The tunnels all leads to there, since that's where the fire- escape-route is."  
  
All Elves nodded, and tried to remember how to find east. "Party starts at midnight; bring your own booze, and smoking allowed, if you do it out the window. Meeting over," Elladan said shortly, and bowed. There was a collective applause, especially from the half-drugged Nef.  
  
While the room emptied, she started to come fairly around, "Haldir, we should talk."  
  
Haldir, who was currently trying to escape, stopped dead in his tracks, "Over a smoke??"  
  
"Fine," Nef rolled her eyes mockingly, and crawled out the window. Haldir followed, and on the bed Figwit paused. He then sneaked after the pair.  
***********************  
"Do you love her, or are you at least in love with her??"  
  
Pippin stared at his roommate in disbelieve, "Come again?"  
  
Merry folded his arms over his chest, "You heard me Peregrin Took."  
  
The younger hobbit lad looked fairly suspicious, "Now, why are you asking that?"  
  
Merry shrugged, "No reason, do you or are you??"  
  
"Sam asked you to, didn't he??" Pip shook his head, "That guy acts like her father."  
  
The Brandybuck sighed, "Sam didn't tell me to do anything. I like Pearl, so I just wanna know if you're shagging her for the fun of it??"  
  
Pippin stared wide-eyed at his cousin, "Meriadoc Brandybuck, do you kiss your mother with that mouth??" he joked with an amused expression. When Merry didn't respond, he sank into his chair with a pout. "I'm in love with her, are you happy now??"  
  
Merry nodded, "Yes, I'm quite pleased."  
  
"Good."  
*************************  
Haldir glanced nervously at the blond female. The moon light made her hair shine more then usually, and she looked incredibly pale. She took a drag of her smoke, inhaled and breathed out. Haldir followed her movements, biting his lower lip. If she would just get to the point, instead of just sitting there. Slap him, and shout he was a pervert, or slowly do a 'you're my friend and only my friend'- speech. Anything but just let him hanging.  
  
"Is it true??"  
  
Nef's face was unreadable, looked kinda like marble. Haldir gulped, and inhaled deeply when Nef offered him the smoke. "Yes," he said clearly.  
  
Nef closed her eyes and exhaled out her nose, making a sighing sound, "Okay."  
  
Haldir frowned and moved in front of her, "Okay??"  
  
Her face changed to sad, "I don't know what else to say."  
  
"Just say yes or no," Haldir shrieked in a desperate tone.  
  
Nef sighed, "But I'm not sure what I feel. You're my friend and."  
  
"Nothing more," Haldir ended with a sullen sneer.  
  
"I didn't say that," Nef mumbled, and made clear eye-contact. Haldir nodded for her to continue. "I love you, as a friend, and I don't know I could love as a." Nef broke off.  
  
"Boyfriend??" Haldir suggested.  
  
Nef nodded, "Maybe the feeling in the pit of my stomach, maybe it's love, romantic love. But you would have to change a little."  
  
Haldir's face lit up ever so slightly, "What??"  
  
"Maybe not smoke so much weed," Nef shrugged innocently, "Maybe we could then try to."  
  
"I just quit," Haldir announced, and smiled briefly. "Can I, eh."  
  
Nef tilted her head, "Kiss me??"  
  
Haldir grinned like an idiot, and leaned forward until his nose bumped into Nef's, "So much for that brilliant plan," Nef smirked, and tilted her head. Their lips brushed together softly, and Haldir immediately deepened the kiss.  
  
Figwit smiled melancholically in the bushes, and sneaked off. Two more happy people to envy. Well, maybe he could have his way with some Lórien Elf when that time came, for know, feeling happy for the newest couple, was his general plan.  
***********************  
A/N: And that's the sappy ending folks. More to come, but right now, I have to worry about Oral German exam. And Danish. And Math, and English. I have to worry, study, and watch Buffy tomorrow. And Angel. I'm a very busy person. Review, I eat reviews for lunch these days. 


	12. The One You've Been Waiting For

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
Disclaimer: *Does cheerleader dance, including squad, pom-poms and all* Tolkien, Tolkien, he's the man, *Jumps to the top of the pyramid* Look at Leggy, Tolkien can. *Pauses* Could. Now it doesn't rhyme *Stumbles, and falls of pyramid* Bugger, I think I've broken something *Snigger* Trust a Brandybuck and a Took. Detour to the emergency... Arwrench belongs to BreeGirls.  
  
Beta: Jessa Sprite. The finest there is, you can wager on that.  
  
~*~*A/N: Hey, I'm already writing. I suck at German. But I'm a very good math-person. And I rock at Danish. Considering that's what I speak, I think that's a good thing. Yay me!! So, I'm not really feeling the love here people, give me a break. That means a Kit-Kat in my life, so give it up. Yes, I'm talking to you, you in the back. Don't think I haven't noticed you, chewing on that for the last five chapters!!  
  
REQUEST: Now, this story is much more popular then I ever thought it would become. So, I wanna make it bigger. So, anyone of you cute little reviewers feel like artwork?? I suck myself (proudly) but maybe some of you feel like it. Drawings, photo-manipulation stuff like that. I love when a story has that, so anybody up for it?? I'll put it on the page I'm gonna design for the story. I think it'll be good.  
Hello reviewers!!!  
  
Lady Idril : And she's bouncy again. Your little elf is in, and she'll be fun. Yeah. And thank you for the nice review.  
  
Kat : I LOVE YOU!! That's the best review yet, because it's long. I've only seen reviews this long on really good stories. You know what?? If we make you and Elf, I bet you're not that bad. *Smile* Hang in there.  
  
asia : Thank you.  
  
DeeSarrachi : Your wish is my command. You and Pearl will be kicking some Longcleeve-ass by next chappie. And I just got another idea, which I think you'll like. Brook and Pippin already know each other. *Evil crackle*  
  
Riders of Rohan : Lily lubs me!! I lub her too!!! *Huggles Lily* I'm so happy over here!!!  
  
Fiora : Now now, there's no need to. I don't remember all you said, but it'll be great for you, this chapter. You're rescued from the detention room, just in time for the party. And more, just read the damn story. And hey, I don't have time to write faster, I have to study for my exams. And have oral exams. And bake cake for "Cake Day". I'm busy. Stop thinking about the cow, it's weird. Get a life, or at least a hobby.  
  
Ara : Thank you, very much actually.  
  
wujasmine : Aw, I'm so proud.  
  
kate : Gonna, I'm gonna.  
  
Aerin : I know the feeling, of looking forward to elvin-drinking parties, I mean.  
  
Insanegoth : You seem pleased about everything. That's good ^_^  
  
offspring-the-kids-aint-a : *Smiles brightly* I love you too, my faithful reviewer. I got two A's, Danish and English. That's what I'm good at, so that's great really. I'm glad you like Figwit being noble, I liked that detail myself.  
  
michelleforworld-domination : *Happy sigh* I, myself, is very fond of the Emyn Muil idea.  
  
The Lady Sorcha of Sevenwaters : Fucking funny. That sounds sassy.  
  
Alona : Phew, easier when I know your name in my head. Thank you for liking my story.  
  
Neko-youkai : I do to. Thank you.  
  
Renze: Miss Cam would feed me to the Mini-Balrog's. Or the Nuzgul. *Gulp* Well, you can have a little elf in the hoard, I love pleasing reviewers.  
Now, Story time kiddies. Do we want Haldir, yes we do, don't we??  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Nef stopped and looked around, "This looks strangely familiar."  
  
"It's because we've been here before. We're going in circles" Legolas whined, and leaned on Aragorn. The human offered his lover the "Crusty- Lembas-Snackers" bag (minimum fat, minimum cholesterol, minimum taste), and Leggy grabbed a handful. He chewed a few seconds, then waved Nef (and her coke, mostly her coke) to his side. Elladan and Elrohir walked past the "Snack-Group", and moved to check out their current whereabouts. Figwit coughed, and he teeth clattered. Aragorn threw his scarf at him with a sympathetic smile.  
  
Haldir, on the other hand, smiled cheerfully, nothing seemed to get him down. That just annoyed the rest of his friends. Éomer had started singing "The Lumberjack Song" 20 minutes earlier, and Glorfindel was trying to put as many swearwords into a sentence as possibly. Of cause 'he' didn't know that, but both Legs and Nef kept count. By that time "That friggin' little hobbit fucker, I'm gonna rip his ugly head off, and stick it up the little cock-suckers old stinking ass!!" was in the lead. Extra points for the growling, and the queasiness Nef experienced after hearing the sentence. So yeah, all added up, things weren't good.  
  
"How did that damn midget get the job as geography teacher, when he can't even find his way around. Where are we??" Gaelwyn growled frustrated. She only received shrugs.  
  
But even though most the student wished they were dead (or were dead), their (un) trusted Professor Baggins, was having a splendid time. "You're not gonna like this," Elladan yelled, as he and his brother came back from the front. "Now that we're here,"  
  
"In the lovely nature," Elrohir sarcastically shot in, and the rest grimaced.  
  
"The Professor decided we might as well check out the Dead Marshes," Elladan ended.  
  
"Oh joy," Legolas groaned, "Let's take a trip to Fangorn Forest next, maybe a stop by Helms Deep while we're at it."  
  
"You're dripping sarcasm on the ground," Gaelwyn said, and sighed. "Just you wait, this is like a holiday compared to my father."  
  
Glorfindel sent her a look, "You're not helping."  
  
Their debate was interrupted by a cheerful, "Come along, you lazy kids!"  
  
"I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day," Éomer sang merrily, and Nef hit his arm half-hearted. Éomer smiled, and looked ahead, "I wonder how they do it," he mused, and pointed at his sister and Arwen. They were chatting with Bilbo, and had fake "I'm-So-Into- Geography" - looks on, Nef noted. They could form a union, I.S.I.G. "Her grades have improved lately," Éomer added, and pulled out a Pixi Stick.  
  
"'Guess your sister likes the cock after all," Aragorn shrugged, and smirked at his friend.  
  
Éomer crooked an eyebrow, "You expect an argument??" Nef's eyes widened under the force of laughter and she choked on her coke, spluttering it all over Figwit's back. He twirled surprised around, splashing his wet hair in Legolas' face. Legolas then jumped back, stepping on Aragorn's foot, almost knocking him over too. Aragorn screeched in surprise, his hand grabbing for something to hold onto. He got Haldir, who grabbed onto. Just trust me, chaos followed.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Pearl shuddered, and Sam looked closely at her. "Stop it Samwise," the lass muttered, and rummaged though her dresser. She held out a box of pills in triumph.  
  
"What is that??" Sam made his concerned-puppy-look.  
  
Pearl groaned, "Is that sentence grammatically correct, 'cause I'm not really sure, there's more of them," she grinned in the end of her speech, and swallowed a few pills. "My stomach is acting weird, and I'm queasy. Maybe it's the flu or something."  
  
Sam didn't look convinced, but Pearl ignored him, "You worry to much, it'll give you wrinkles." Pearl giggled, and jumped atop of her roommate, pushing his chins back. "Better," she confirmed, and scattered off.  
  
Sam rubbed his chin, and sent her a dirty look, "Maybe you should go to the nurse."  
  
"Sam, sweetheart, don't worry about it. Jeesh, my father doesn't even care as much as you do."  
  
Sam sighed, "Pity I won't have children."  
  
"Maybe you'll be the groundbreaking guy, who knocked up Frodo Baggins," Pearl suggested innocently. Sam rolled his eyes, and sat down hard on the floor. Pearl blinked at him and shrugged, "Fine, you're no fun. What's the next class??"  
  
"Self-confidence, Théoden. Today is "You make your own happiness"-day. Should be a blast," Sam smiled, the irony so thick you could cut it with a knife.  
  
Pearl picked up her book, "Well, what do you expect from someone, who gives you a school book entitled: Just Say; Yes I Can??"  
  
"I don't know what I was thinking," Sam smirked, and got up with a groan.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"I don't believe it," Mîm muttered, and shook her head. "More teachers. Stupid Elves, burning down their stupid school."  
  
"Hey," Gimli re-read the note, "With the additional teachers, we will have elective classes."  
  
Mîm rolled her eyes, "What clouds. Yeah, now we can take," she scanned the list, "Elvin Poetry, Gardening, ancient history, religion, Riding and." Her eyes lit up, "Dwarfen Mining, with Thorin Oakenshield. Isn't he dead??" She turned to her cousin.  
  
"Apparently not. Two dwarfs, Fili and Kili are coming too."  
  
The female frowned, "They had dwarfs in Lothlórien, why??"  
  
Gimli shrugged, and picked up his back, "Maybe the Moria department kicked them out. It's only an elementary school after all. "  
  
"Yeah," Mîm nodded knowingly. "Hopefully the Barad-Dûr school won't burn while I'm here."  
  
Gimli laughed loudly, "I hear you on that one. Eeew, imagine your roommate being an Uruk-hai."  
  
"No, no imagining, none at all."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Melianwen sheltered her nose, "Damn it's smelly."  
  
Boromir nodded, and glanced behind him. He kept an eye on Faramir the whole time, because let's face it, you never knew. It was stupid really, but he always did right after. An incident. Boromir really wished he knew why his brother did it. But he actually did. If Faramir felt like he dishonoured the family, hurt someone. Boromir sighed, and rubbed his temples. His brother needed a girl. Right now, even Nef would be great for him. Melianwen was looking at him again, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Boromir gave her a reassuring smile, but she still looked worried.  
  
Like usual, Faramir was walking alone. He liked it, and somehow he didn't. It was confusing. He hated being alone, but he hated being around to many people, just as much. If only. He could her the Scum-Group (Leggy, Nef and co.) laughing. He sighed deeply, when suddenly.  
  
"Hi Faramir."  
  
Faramir jumped, "Hey, Nef don't do that."  
  
Nef looked extremely blameworthy, and pouted softly, "Sorry, I just thought I'd keep you company."  
  
"You don't have to," Faramir murmured, and stared into the horizon.  
  
Nef glared, "Hey, life-saver trying to communicate here." Faramir's head shot in her direction. "Oh," that was right, he hadn't know. Nef waved nervously, and went back to her group.  
  
Faramir sighed, and rubbed his eyes, trying to keep the tears in. A hand was put on his shoulder, "Nef, I said you should." Faramir turned to see the other Elf. Gaelwyn, giving the impression of being sorta baffled.  
  
"Sorry, I just thought I'd say hi," the green-eyed said gently, and went to move away.  
  
Faramir grabbed her wrist, "No, I didn't mean it like that, it's just."  
  
Gaelwyn beamed, and strolled up next to him, and flicked her hair charmingly, "So, your brother seems like a bitch."  
  
"He's fair enough," Faramir smiled.  
  
The Elf laid a hand on his shoulder, "Coming to the party??"  
  
Faramir squinted at her, "I've heard rumours."  
  
"Trust me, M' boy," Gaelwyn grinned, "I'll make it all worth it."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
Galadriel and Celeborn carefully stepped back, and shared a look. An 'I'll hold him, my love, and you'll run. Run, save yourself!!' - look.  
  
Elrond stared at the sheet of paper, his left eye twitching disturbingly. "They are sending more??" he asked, voice trying to sound calm, but not quite succeeding. At all actually.  
  
"Seems like it, sir," Galadriel said, voice tiny. Even she had fear of Elrond's panic-attacks.  
  
Elrond buried his face in his hands. They where sending more students. One Elf from Rivendell Private School and a Hobbit from The Shire's Public School. Arriving that afternoon.  
  
Elrond peeked out from under his hands, "Give me the cases, please??"  
  
Celeborn slipped the files onto the Principals desk, and jumped back. Elrond read in silence, then his eyes widened, "WHAT?!?!"  
  
"That would be Brook Boffin, I suspect," Galadriel said in her most formal manner.  
  
"She kicked a teacher in the." Elrond waved his hand to prove his point.  
  
Galadriel shifted anxiously, "You'd be happy to know, they've successfully pulled his testicle back down." Elrond stared at his Professor, and she sighed. "She insist he kicked himself in the balls. He tried making a pass on her."  
  
"Stupid Teenage girls," Celeborn mumbled, receiving a shift kick from his wife.  
  
Elrond raised an eyebrow at the two Professors, and picked the next file. "Hmm, lovely, a family member of Glorfindel. And a Satanist too, how neat," he said sarcastically, throwing the file back down. "This is not go- ."  
  
A knock on the door, and Sauron's head popping in, "Master Elrond. New students."  
  
Elrond threw his hand in the air, and looked extremely displeased, "How about a fair warning??"  
  
Celeborn and Galadriel tip-toed out the door, and the newcomers strolled in. Elrond felt his eyes widen. How the hell (!!) does ones hair get that colour?? The Elf's, black, with blue streaks. Pierced nose, ears, lip and, yes, tongue. Heavy black make-up, and black clothes. Leather pants, leather jacket. A confident smirk plastered on her face, and when she sat in the nearest chair, she sat very. masculine you might say.  
  
The hobbit was another matter. She looked somewhat, cold, bitchy. Red hair, green eyes, hard glare. Elrond sighed, "Welcome Misses," he peeked at the files, "Boffin and Gondolin." He frowned. Okay, the name was Idril of Gondolin, but imagine your middle name being 'of'.  
  
The youngsters didn't look the least intimidated. Idril rolled her eyes, and was just about to spit in the corner, when, "Don't even think about it Missy."  
  
Idril flipped Elrond the finger, and started gurgling. Elrond silently counted to 10, and took a few deep breaths. He'd start with the hobbit.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"EEEW!!"  
  
Simultaneously just about all the Elves (and Aragorn) rolled their eyes at Arwen's outburst. "There's dead people in the water," Éowyn screeched.  
  
"Remains from The Middle-Earth Woodstock," Bilbo explained.  
  
Legolas sighed melancholically, "Those were times."  
  
Aragorn sent him a look, and Haldir smiled to himself.  
  
"They're beggin' for it," Nef whispered quickly to Haldir, and pointed at the Über-Bitches. They were standing at the edge of the marshes, looking in with disgust. Nef silently sneaked up behind them. Before the boys could register what she was doing, two solid pushes sent Arwrench and Éowyn flying into the water. They resurfaced, spluttering water, screaming, covered in seaweed. After a few seconds of shock, the entire snack-group started laughing so hard, Legolas and Figwit had to sit down.  
  
"Miss Anìron!!" Oh boy, here came the bad part. Professor Baggins looked kinda pissed off, "I think Sauron will see you for detention, at eight, sharp."  
  
Legolas wiped his eyes, a final giggle, then calming down, "God, I'm sorry Nef, but." Arwen and Éowyn had gotten up, and the sight of them in full statue sent Legolas into another laughing-fit.  
  
Nef smiled proudly and the group followed their extremely pissed off Professor. "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day," a voice sang, and Nef glared at her human buddy, Éomer.  
  
"Who taught you that stupid song??"  
  
Éomer beamed slightly, "Fiora."  
  
Nef crooked an eyebrow, "The one who speaks with a strange even-ness and selects her words a shade too precisely??"  
  
"Some men like that," Haldir shot in.  
  
Éomer rolled his eyes, "Yep, the crazy girl. She's locked up in detention, but she'll be joining classes Monday."  
  
"Joy, that'll turn out fun," Legs grumbled and threw and empty soda-bottle behind a rock.  
  
There was silence for a few minutes, while the group just walked. "The party," Nef gasped suddenly, "I'm gonna be locked up in detention!!"  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Pearl quickly turned around to walk the other way, but it was to late. "Hey look, it's the little whore!!" Diamond's gang of bitches giggled in a very nasty way.  
  
"That wasn't a nice thing to say."  
  
Pearl turned her head. Another hobbit-lass was standing, leaning against the wall. She had a certain vibe around her. Like you didn't wanna mess with her.  
  
"Who the hell are you??" Diamond spit out her pink bubble gum.  
  
The redhead sighed, "Brook Boffin. Now why would you call this young lass a whore??"  
  
Diamond and her gang didn't seem frightened by the newcomer. "Because she sleeps with my man??" Diamond suggested.  
  
"He is not your man," Pearl spat, and attacked the bitch of Longcleeve, successfully giving her a few good hits, before getting hit herself, fleeing back. Diamond grinned, "Girlie. Afraid she's gonna lose her little Pippin sex-toy. "  
  
Brook froze. She stared at Pearl, then at Diamond, and back at Pearl again. Something seemed to fall into place in her head, and with a single blow, she knocked Diamond into the nearest wall.  
  
Diamond glared angrily at her opponent, drying her now bleeding lip with the back of her hand, "You will pay, Brook Boffin." Her group quickly helped her up and they fled down the nearest corridor.  
  
Pearl shuddered and dissolved into a heap on the floor. Brook wriggled her nose, and held her hand up, "Are you hurt, or somethin' ??"  
  
The other shook her head, and took the hand, "Thank you for helping me, Brook."  
  
"Well," Brook shrugged, "We Pippin-shaggers have to look out for one another."  
  
Pearl's jaw fell, "You know Peregrin??"  
  
"Y'uh huh," Brook smiled evilly, "In many private ways."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"Mîm, it's a very stupid idea." Rosie knew she wouldn't be able to change her friends mind, but there was no harm in trying. Again.  
  
Mîm sized up a blue shirt, "That's the basics of it's appeal."  
  
"Oh, really. Getting killed is so much fun," Rosie grumbled, and threw her hands in the air. "You know Elves hate dwarfs and hobbits."  
  
The Dwarf paused, "Why is that??"  
  
"We're short, and we're not unnaturally pretty, that's why," Rosie stated shortly.  
  
"Huh."  
  
Rosie groaned, "Come on, stay here, we'll get drunk or play strip-poker with Gimli." Rosie froze, "On the other hand, enjoy the party."  
  
Mîm grinned at the hobbit's disgust, over her own imagination, "Oh, this is gonna be fun, fun, fun."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Sauron looked smug. Too smug for Nef's liking. "So, you push people into Marshes??" Nef only nodded, she did push people into marshes. Sauron smiled in glee, "Fiora, are you done with the desks??"  
  
Nef stared at the door. Fiora looked, well, not as clean as she was the last time Nef saw her. But she still spoke funny, "Yes. No gum on any desks. Can I go now, and if I can, would you move from the door??"  
  
Sauron's hands crushed around an imaginary neck, most likely Fiora's. "This is Miss. Anìron. The two of you will be cleaning the toilets in the staff- wing. NOW!!"  
  
Nef gulped, as did Fiora. Sauron crackled to himself and led them on their way. Nef registered the Fiora was indeed humming "The Lumberjack Song" all the time.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"If it isn't Peregrin Took," a voice rang out.  
  
Pippin, who was sitting on his bad, back turned to the door, stopped counting his penny's. "Brook??" Her turned around, to see the lass in the door, Pearl by her side, "Pearl, hi sweety," he hurriedly added.  
  
"That's the way you greet old girlfriends, I'm feeling sorry for quite a few," Brook said flatly, but then her face broke into a huge smile, "Give me a hug, you little scamp."  
  
Pearl backed a little away, as Pippin did as he was told. Of cause he then kissed Pearl, and hugged her too. But really, Pearl wanted to know more about Brook, more then she wanted hugs from her boyfriend. So when the two old lovers started talking, she slipped into the hallway.  
  
Pearl looked around, and spotted Merry in a sofa just down the corridor, "Merry, there's a new student."  
  
Merry looked up from his book, "Who??"  
  
Pearl took a deep breath, "What do you know of Brook Boffin??"  
  
Under the sandy curls, Merry's eyebrows shot up, "She's here??" Pearl nodded, and put her hand on her hips. Merry bit his lip, "Well, she and Pip used to."  
  
"Go out??"  
  
Marry paused, "Have lots of wild sex," he ended with a twitch.  
  
Pearl sat down in the other end of the sofa, "You're not helping here."  
  
"I know," Merry whispered soothingly, "But Brook broke it off herself."  
  
"Why??" Pearl asked slowly.  
  
Merry shrugged, "She was done. Brook is the 'Want, take, have' type, she wanted Pip, she had Pip, she got bored with Pip."  
  
Pearl stared into nothing for the next minutes, "Did he love her??"  
  
"That doesn't matter now, does it??" Merry sent her a serious look. "He's in love with you now."  
  
"Merry." Pearl stopped and swallowed a lump in her throat. "I.I.I.-" Merry bit his lip, stuttering back, not a good sign. "I'm, um, late."  
  
Merry frowned, "What do you mean late?" Pearl didn't say anything, and slowly Merry got her point. Pippin, probably sex, late. "You're.Pregnant."  
  
"I don't know," Pearl whispered, and looked truly devastated. Merry took a deep breath, and leaned over to hug the lass. Her shoulders starting shaking with silent sobs, and Merry closed his eyes. That would be hard to explain to the nurse.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Legolas jumped up from Aragorn's lap, "Nefhuinëiel!!"  
  
Nef brushed some dust from her pants, and strolled to the box, on which the pair was seated. The whole room was filled with elves and a few humans, all drinking, singing or making out with random girls. Not that there was a lot of girls, so most were just drinking. "Hi," Nef said tiredly.  
  
Fiora jumped up beside her, "Hi, have you seen Éomer??"  
  
Legolas blinked a few times. "Fiora??" Aragorn suggested with a shrug.  
  
"That's me," Fiora said with a big smile.  
  
"Over there," Legs pointed at Éomer, drinking with Isildur, Faramir and Gaelwyn.  
  
Fiora beamed, "Thank you."  
  
Nef sighed and grabbed Aragorn's drink, swallowing it in one gulp. Then she started coughing, "What the hell??"  
  
"Vodka and Bacardi," Aragorn smiled, and patted her head, "Have a smoke."  
  
Nef took the home-made cigar-like thing, and lit it. "Why, how did you get so beautiful??" a voice asked in a seductive manner.  
  
Nef looked up at Haldir's grinning, slurred face, "I dunno, I was born that way."  
  
Legolas smiled at the sweetness, and planted a romantic kiss on Aragorn's lips. Of cause it soon turned into wild snogging, so Nef quickly followed Haldir outside.  
  
***  
  
"Fiora," Éomer greeted with a grin.  
  
Fiora beamed, "That's me. Hi Éomer, how are you??"  
  
The human shrugged, "Drunk?"  
  
The girl grinned, "Funny. Can I have some booze??"  
  
Faramir and Gaelwyn raised some eyebrows, and left the sofa.  
  
***  
  
Elladan carefully balanced the pint on his head for two full seconds, and got it as reward. His brother giggled maniacally, and Arwen, who turned out of nowhere, slapped him on the back. "Hi Sis," the twins slurred, and offered her a gulp.  
  
Arwen grinned, and tried the drink, "'Tastes like crap," she confirmed.  
  
"Come on," Elrohir teased, "Be a man."  
  
Arwen made a face, "I'm an Elvin female, you twit."  
  
Elladan laughed loudly, and jumped atop of the nearest table, "People, PEOPLE!!!" he screamed loudly, getting everyone's attention. "Now, what's the best thing about hobbits??"  
  
"Great shags??" someone (who sounded disturbingly like Figwit) yelled from the back.  
  
Elladan grinned and wobbled for a second, "Nope. Great drinking songs!!!"  
  
The crowd cheered, as Elladan cleared his throat, then sang on the top of his lungs, "Hey, ho, to the bottle I go!!"  
  
"To heal my heart, and drown my woe!!" Elrohir cheered, and joined his brother on the table.  
  
"Rain may fall, and wind may blow, but there'll still beeeee, many miles to go," the two sang merrily, and started dancing (very badly) to the tune they created. Under very heavy cheers, Elladan continued, "Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,"  
  
"And the stream that falls from hill to plain," Elrohir took over.  
  
Elladan did a very disturbing hip-swing, before they both ended the song, "Better then rain or rippling brook. Is getting drunk in our neighbourhood!!" The twins simultaneously fell down from the table and passed out, leaving Arwen to drink another pint.  
  
***  
  
Faramir scanned the room for Gaelwyn. She had gone to cheer in the front, when the twins had decided to perform, and she wasn't back yet. Not that she'd be to hard to find. Then again, the room was the size of an ordinary basement, but it was only lit by candles on different small boxes (used for chairs and tables) or in the windows. The human sighed, and emptied his glass. What it was, he didn't know. Tasted like everything you could get your hands on, mixed together.  
  
"Hi Sweety," Nef sang cheerfully from behind him.  
  
Faramir turned and smiled, suddenly feeling pretty drunk, "Hello Nef. Why aren't you with Haldir??"  
  
Nef winked, "He's smoking. I allowed it."  
  
Faramir laughed brightly, and draped an arm around the Elf, "You're funny."  
  
"And you are drunk," Nef confirmed.  
  
Faramir nodded, "I think so too. Kiss me??"  
  
Nef rolled her yes, "Kiss her," she smiled, and threw the boy into Gaelwyn (who just arrived)'s arms. Faramir grinned, and planted a kiss on the baffled Elf's lips. He then momentarily passed out.  
  
Gaelwyn stared at the drunk figure in her arms, "What??"  
  
"He needs love," Nef said blankly, "Good luck. You do want him??"  
  
"Of cause, he's cute," Gaelwyn grinned and placed her prince charming on the sofa, giving him a few slaps to wake him up. Nef giggled and went to find her own guy.  
  
***  
  
Mîm peeked out from under the bar, "I'm going for that vodka-bottle," she announced.  
  
Gimli's head pooped up behind her, "It's too long, you'll get seen."  
  
"To late," Mîm shrugged, and crawled out from their hiding-place.  
  
Her cousin watched nervously, as Mîm sneaked in on a few Elves, trying to snatch their vodka. Just when Mîm grabbed the bottle, and Gimli had began crawling out of hiding, there was a screech: "DWARF!!"  
  
Gimli froze, as did Mîm. A few male Elf's were towering above them already, "Oh, shit."  
  
***  
  
Figwit stared at the olive, and sighed, "No use looking at me like that." He turned it on it's toothpick, "I'm eating you." He ate the olive with a smile, and washed it down with the dry martini.  
  
Glorfindel gave him a look, "Stop talking with olives."  
  
"'K," Figwit yawned, and passed out.  
  
Glorfindel rolled his eyes and got up, walking out side.  
  
***  
  
Idril followed the smell of booze, and found a group of elves drinking and smoking. She sighed, and picked up a deserted bottle without a label, smelling the content. Tequila of some kind, good enough for her to sip at.  
  
"Idril!?!"  
  
Idril lowered the bottle, and brushed some black hair from her eyes, "'ello there, brother." She sent Glorfindel a smirk.  
  
Glorfindel's jaw dropped, "Your hair." he stuttered, "Your face."  
  
"Died it, pierced it," Idril answered smugly, "I rebelled. I was kicked out of school."  
  
Glorfindel approached his sister with wide eyes, and couldn't tear his eyes off her rebel-evidence, "Why didn't.??"  
  
"Mom didn't write you??" Idril asked with a crooked eyebrow, taking another swing of her liquor.  
  
Glorfindel shook his head, "She doesn't write at all."  
  
"Poor baby," Idril joked, and burped loudly. Glorfindel gulped, as she then spit several feet.  
  
"Glory," Nef's voice sounded, "Can I borrow a." she stopped by his side, and stared for a moment, "What is that, and why is it's hair that colour??"  
  
"Nef, this is my sister Idril," Glorfindel said. "Idril, this is my friend Nefhuinëiel, Nef."  
  
Idril waved lazily, as did Nef, "A smoke," she then ended, and Glorfindel gave her one without arguments. "Either your mother slept around or."  
  
"Hair-colour," Idril answered Nef's snide comment, and noted for her brother to give her a smoke too.  
  
Nef ignored the punk, and patted Glory on the back, "Thanks man, see you around." Glorfindel nodded, and waved half-hearted.  
  
Idril frowned, "Why is a bunch of Elves chasing two Dwarf's??"  
  
Glorfindel shrugged, "You'll get used to the craziness."  
  
Idril smiled briefly, and followed her brother inside.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Quicker then usual. Hope you like it, feel the bright review bottom calling you!! 


	13. The One With A Real Normal Day, Almost

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: *Sigh* Here we go again. All the Tolkien characters, and the places belongs to Tolkien. Well, Tolkien's heir's. Now, the OC's belongs to either me, or the people who asked me to put them in. Arwench was named by BreeGirls. That's about it.  
  
Beta: Lily!! She's fast as Superman.  
  
~*~*~*A/N: I'm just so busy. Really, so this is like, written five minutes at a time. *~*~*~  
  
Dear Reviewers.  
  
THANK YOU ALL!!! I'm too tired to do you all. But, please, you make a difference, I love you all. Hey, no one wants to do artwork. except Dee Sarrachi. Bah!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Nef opened one eye. She groaned and determinedly closed it again. The birds were chirping. Stupid birds, there should be a law about birds singing so early.  
  
"Get up, Princess. You missed breakfast, and classes are starting."  
  
Nef rolled onto her stomach, hiding her face in her pillow, "Shut up, Faramir." How the hell did that kid do it? No hangover, and cheerful. Something was wrong. Her head snapped up, "You got laid," she screeched with a bright smile. Faramir stuttered some rubbish and blushed, before fleeing the room.  
  
Nef giggled to herself, and got up. She looked around the room, spotting her jeans in the far corner. She shook them violently, a few Aspirin falling out on the floor. She picked a bottle of coke from the desk and swallowed them. Searching though her bed and dresser she found some (reasonably) clean clothes. She sighed, it was all black, the rest was washing. "I'm going as The Queen of Orcs (Hi Fiora!!)", she muttered and walked out the door.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mîm carefully touched her black eye, and hissed in pain. Now, that one had hurt. She was so gonna take revenge, when she got. taller.  
  
Rosie was sending her a I-Told-You-So glance and muttering to herself.  
  
"Well, at least I don't have to go to the nurse," Mîm proclaimed proudly, "Gimli is getting five stitches, and his ankle might be broken," she added, sounding more proud then sad.  
  
Rosie rolled her eyes. "Maybe it's because he's a male." Mîm mused on.  
  
"You can't tell the difference," Rosie muttered, and went out the door.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Boromir, would you please stop it??" Melianwen was sending her friend, or whatever you should call him, a stern glare.  
  
Boromir grinned, and tickled her side again. Melianwen squealed in protest and jumped out of the bed. Boromir looked satisfied at his bedfellow, and waved charmingly. Melianwen rolled her eyes, and got her clothes, "Let's go, classes." Boromir pouted softly and stretched out in the bed. Melianwen shook her head "no" and got dressed within seconds. "I'm going back to my dorm now," she sang teasingly.  
  
Boromir smiled, and got up. Turned out he was actually wearing boxers again. "Ten minutes, see 'ya." He kissed her lightly goodbye, and Mel rushed out the door.  
  
Melianwen registered the number 13 on the door, and walked in. She scanned the small dorm, spotting both Legs and Aragorn in Aragorn's bed. "MORNING!!" she shouted, and giggled as both males jumped up in shock.  
  
"So," Legolas murmured, and rubbed his eyes. "Where have you been?"  
  
Melianwen paused, and blushed. Aragorn blinked a few times and his eyes starting to twinkle, "I'm guessing with Boromir." Legolas grinned, and 'meowed' before making cat claws. Melianwen smirked sarcastically.  
  
Legolas sighed, and jumped up from the bed, singing softly, "Mel and Boromir sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S."  
  
Melianwen cut him off by kicking his leg sharply.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hi Pearl!!"  
  
Pearl jumped in surprise, and automatically clutched her stomach. She turned, and found Brook smiling broadly, "Where's Pippin??"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know," Merry said, an evil sound to his voice. Pearl had been thinking that, but she wasn't joking, like it turned out Merry was. Pippin came right after his roomie, and smiled broadly. God, Pearl wished Professor Celeborn would come and start the goddamn class.  
  
"Hey, Pearl??" sounded the familiar voice.  
  
Pearl smiled slightly, a welcoming distraction, "Hi Mîm, nice eye."  
  
Mîm nodded, "Yeah. See you have problems too?" She pointed in the general directing of Brook, Merry and Pip.  
  
"They're nothing more then friends," Pearl answered quietly.  
  
"Still bothers you, that Brook might be closer to Peregrin then you," Mîm mused. Pearl looked briefly sad, the questioning at Mîm. "Word goes around, if you're wondering how I know all this."  
  
Pearl nodded, "Why does she have to be so." Brook made a flick with her hair, and laughed loudly at something Pip had said.  
  
"Bitchy??" Mîm suggested.  
  
"Perfect, in a way."  
  
Mîm groaned, "What ever. Just so you know? I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want," she stated firmly.  
  
Pearl frowned and shook her head, "Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty."  
  
Mîm leaned in and whispered enthusiastically, "Well, that's the beauty! You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us."  
  
"She helped me," Pearl said, a (big) hint of sadness in her eyes, "I owe her."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" Nef stared at Galadriel with an empty look in her eyes.  
  
"Turns out reading minds was handy," Legolas whispered, and grinned.  
  
"OK, so talk to me, people. How does what Shylock says here, about being a Jew, relate to our  
  
discussion about the anger of the outcast at society?" Galadriel looked chipper, way to chipper for any of the students liking, except: "Yes, Miss Evenstar, what is Shylock saying??"  
  
"How about, 'color me totally self-involved'," Arwen said loudly, sounding as snobbish as ever.  
  
Galadriel paused, "Care to elaborate?"  
  
Nef rolled her eyes, and Haldir aimed a ball of paper at Arwench's head, but missed. "With Shylock it's whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him! He acts like it's justice, him getting a pound of  
  
Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, it's yicky."  
  
"I haven't studied, and I find her wrong," Aragorn muttered, trying to find his way through his paper-stack.  
  
"But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice Society?" Galadriel continued.  
  
Figwit quickly raised his hand, (much to everybody's surprise) "Well, everyone looks down on him - "  
  
"That's such a twinkie defence!" Arwen interrupted. "Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like the time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike, and it was the most traumatising even of my *life*, and she's trying to make it all about *her* leg! Like my pain meant *nothing*!...  
  
Galadriel looked somewhat troubled. "Well, Miss Evenstar raised an interesting point here -- " Legolas pretended to gag. Nef was just about the try and leap at Arwen, when the bell saved her (Arwen). "Which we will pursue next time," Galadriel ended. "Now, when the students comes this afternoon, would you please be a little disciplined?  
  
"Does that mean I can't kill Arwench??" Aragorn asked, and sulked childishly.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"What is that??" Gaelwyn murmured and squinted at the screen. It looked really disgusting!!  
  
She turned to look at Nef, as another slide popped up. Nef shook her head, "Don't know."  
  
Gaelwyn shrugged, and started drawing little hearts on her paper. She wrote a pretty 'F' in each of them, "Your grades, or your sweetheart?" Nef asked innocently.  
  
"Don't play saint-girl with me. You know what's going on. I saw Faramir blushing when you smirked meaningfully at him." Gaelwyn frowned, and tried putting her hair-band tighter.  
  
"I'll do it," Nef smiled, and pulled the white clothing off. Gaelwyn noted her consent. Nef reassuringly padded her head, then pulled the band over Gaelwyn's hair, hippie-style. With a wolfish grin, she picked up a pen and drew a peace-sign.  
  
"Wow, father's gonna love this," Gaelwyn giggled. The first Latin lesson, she wasn't looking forward to it.  
  
"Their ancestors were here long before we were - their progeny will be here long after we're gone. The simple and ubiquitous ant. If you did the homework, you'll know the two ways that ants communicate . .  
  
Ms. Tathariel?" Gaelwyn stared at Professor Brown, who had appeared by their desk. A-what??  
  
"Ways that ants communicate," Gaelwyn confirmed, completely lost. Nef sucked in a deep breath, this was not good.  
  
"Yes." confirmed Radagast.  
  
Her green eyes in scanned the room in desperation, before falling on. Faramir was right behind the Professor, waving his arm madly. He started rubbing Boromir's back (he was sitting next to him).  
  
".Touch." Gaelwyn answered slowly "And." Faramir grabbed a piece of Boromir's clothes and sniffed it. ".B.O.?"  
  
"Touch and smell, Ms. Tathariel," Professor Radagast corrected and ended, without turning, "Is there anything else Denethor's son would like to tell you?"  
  
Faramir hung his head.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Idril, what are you doing here??" Glorfindel asked sarcastically.  
  
'Idril, who conveniently enough, missed the first three lessons, just blew a bubble with her black gum (probably liquorice). "Well, I'm gonna have Geometry, you??"  
  
Glorfindel sighed, as Idril walked on, "She's worse than.You," he pointed accusingly at Haldir, who smiled mistakenly.  
  
Nef briefly wondered how long the effect of Pot had any effect, but pushed the thought aside, "Glory, you sister seems pretty. disobedient."  
  
"So are the most of us," the blond muttered, "She wasn't like this when I was send away."  
  
"Boy, did she grow into stupidity," Aragorn remarked, "Sauron's gonna send her to detention forever."  
  
As Sauron arrived, the rest nodded in confirmation.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"What are we doing again??" Pearl looked lost. "Like, the fact that a tree is talking to us, isn't enough, I have no idea what it's talking about."  
  
"Active listening," Merry answered from the table behind, "Professor Treebeard's new thing."  
  
"Where you really put on your 'big ears' and really listen to the other person??" Pip continued, hoping to get some reaction from his girlfriend. But Pearl still looked blank.  
  
"Isaacson's research lead him to conclude that one of our  
  
most fundamental needs, after food and shelter, is to be heard..." Treebeard said. "Ms. Brook Boffin, would you read us the first two paragraphs on page seventy-eight?."  
  
Brook groaned and glared at Professor Treebeard, who ignored her glaring, and continued his lesson, "...Where Isaacson describes the rapid movement active listening brought to some special needs clients -"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mîm stared out the window, a distant look in her eyes, "Bus is coming.pulling up."  
  
Gimli Balin and Rosie joined her peeking, "God, we're going to drown in elves," Baling muttered, and flinched at the thought.  
  
"It's not as bad as parents-teacher night," Rosie remarked.  
  
Mîm swallowed a lump, "And that is, when??"  
  
"Next month," Gimli supplied helpfully.  
  
"Great," Mîm said, her voice thin and shaking already. The student's worst nightmare.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Here they come," Legolas confirmed, as the big yellow bus drove into the school yard.  
  
"What's the strategy?" Nef asked.  
  
Aragorn tilted his head, "Well, since we're the only one here," he nodded at Nef and the gang (Gaelwyn, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel, Aragorn, Haldir and Figwit), "I say we look cool, and in charge."  
  
Haldir sent the human a look, "Good luck with that."  
  
The bus door opened, and a horde of blond elves got off. Really many of them, all wearing a school-uniforms. ("Oh, my God" Figwit gasped)  
  
They all headed for the front door, where Sauron and Elrond greeted them. Sauron looking smug, Elrond looking ready to kill himself. All, besides.  
  
"Hello brother!!"  
  
The group twirled, the find two identical blond twins grinning behind their back.  
  
Haldir's face lit up in a huge smile, "Orophin, Rúmil!!" The three jumped into a giant group-hud, laughing and cheering.  
  
"You think it's his brothers??" Gaelwyn asked Figwit, sarcastically.  
  
Figwit nodded in confirmation, "I'm starting to think so."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Okay, it's not as long as usual, but hey, I'm the main-character in the movie we're making at school. And I'm writing the script. And I got a headache. So there. 


	14. The One With Announcements and Other Hor...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf, co-written with Lily  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, those Tolkien's sure hold onto their stuff.  
  
Beta: Lily, again. Super-Beta-Girl, to the rescue.  
  
A/N: Look, I got a co-written chapter, yay. And with one of my bestest writer-buddies, Lily. Isn't this great?? And I'm early, isn't that greater??  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Guys, these are my brothers, Rúmil and Orophin. Guys, the ." Haldir paused "The gang. Nef, Aragorn, Legolas, Figwit, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Gaelwyn." At each name, Haldir pointed quickly.  
  
Rúmil took Nef's hand with a charming smile, "Hello, sweet lady."  
  
"My girlfriend," Haldir added sharply, and placed his arms around Nef's shoulder. Rúmil smiled at them both.  
  
"Haldir you look sober," Orophin noted, and stepped up to his brother, "Are you not stoned??"  
  
"Nef cured him," Legolas explained, before dragging Aragorn with him inside, "We're gonna make sure not to talk to strangers, mommy," he said to Nef, before they both went inside the horde of Lothlórien students.  
  
"Raised him all by myself," Nef smiled, and sent a glare at Rúmil. He was still looking at her, a hungry smile on his lips. Neither Haldir nor Nef liked that, well, Haldir probably disliked it the most.  
  
Orophin patted his brother's back, "We're gonna go in. I hear we're staying here for good."  
  
"Yeah," Rúmil added, "And that's a good thing, I'd say." He winked at Nef who, much to her own misery, blushed and broke away from his gaze. 1-0 to the cheeky blond-brother.  
  
***  
  
"Is Brook here??"  
  
Pippin shook his head. Pearl nodded and slowly walked inside, stopping in the middle of the room,"I have something I need to talk to you about."  
  
"Okay." Pippin remained seated in his chair.  
  
Pearl couldn't find a good place to start, so she took the easiest part first, "Has Merry been acting weird around you, since yesterday??"  
  
Pippin frowned, "Now that you mentioned it, he did look kinda sulky after he spoke with you. What's going on??" Much to Pearl comfort, Pip was sounding worried.  
  
Ouch, this would be harder. Telling Merry was hard, telling Pip would be hell. She didn't even bother thinking about Sam. "I."  
  
Pip got up from the chair, and took her hand, "Whatever it is, you can tell me."  
  
That did it, damn those hormones. Pearl's eyes watered up, and she began sobbing hysterically. Pip slowly guided her to the bed and sat her down, before handing her a napkin. Pearl thanked with a nod, and blew her nose. "What's wrong??" Pip asked again.  
  
Pearl paused and looked at her feet, "I'm pregnant."  
  
It's not the most comforting thing to do, actually it's probably the worst thing to do, when someone tells you they're pregnant, but Peregrin Took did it. He fainted.  
  
***  
  
Figwit flipped through the magazine on his desk. He was bored. He knew he should go be friendly to the new student's, but he didn't feel like it.  
  
The door opened with a bang, and Haldir stood breathing heavily in the door.  
  
"You run??" Figwit asked innocently.  
  
Haldir nodded, "And jump. And bend. And, occasionally frolic."  
  
Figwit blinked. He thought he was the only one who knew how to frolic.  
  
Haldir fell down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, and his breathing started to slow down. He started to think about Rúmil's behaviour towards Nef when he arrived. The more he thought about it, however, the angrier he became. He had to do something about it, and fast. He knew how Rúmil worked when it came to women. Growling, Haldir leaped from his bed and tore out the door.  
  
Figwit looked up, raising an eyebrow. He pondered for a moment, then stood, following Haldir out the door, curious to see what made him so angry all of a sudden.  
  
***  
  
Faramir sat on his bed, his back against the headboard reading when he heard a soft knock on his door. Looking up, he noticed Nef wasn't in the room, and set his book down.  
  
"Come in", he called.  
  
The door opened and Gaelwyn stepped in the room. Faramir couldn't help but sigh softly at the sight of her, and he felt his heart flutter when she smiled at him. Eru, he wished he could honestly tell her how he felt, and to see if she felt the same way. He wasn't even sure if the night of the party meant anything to her.  
  
"Hey", she said softly, biting her lip. He stood and walked over to her, pulling his hand up to rub the back of his neck.  
  
"Hey", he answered back. Sighing, he took her hand and led her over to the bed where they both sat down.  
  
"I need to talk to you about something", Faramir started, looking at the floor.  
  
Gaelwyn nodded, "I also need to talk to you about something", she said scooting closer to him. He looked over at her and noticed her long slender legs just inches away from him.  
  
"Okay. Here it is", he started, "Did the other night mean anything to you?"  
  
Gaelwyn's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. She sprang up, feeling the tears sting her eyes. She backed up, and looked at him, her chin quivering.  
  
"I can't believe you just asked me that!", she yelled, "Is that what you think?"  
  
Faramir fell back on the bed. Yep, he just screwed up. But wait. If she was having this kind of reaction, then that meant.  
  
He shot up, "Gaelwyn, what are you saying"  
  
Gaelwyn ignored him, "No, you tell me honestly. Is that what you think? That I just fucked you for the hell of it?"  
  
Faramir stood up, "No, Gaelwyn I..", he started, taking a step towards her.  
  
She backed up, and into his desk, knocking a box off and onto the floor. Faramir watched in horror as the contents scattered everywhere on the floor.  
  
Gaelwyn stared at the floor before bending down, picking up a few of the objects. Knives, razor blades, needles, pills. Holy Valar, the others were right. She looked up at Faramir, feeling more tears coming. Suddenly, she stood up and started throwing different things at him.  
  
"How could you do this? I didn't believe the others when they told me about this. I didn't want to believe them! Is this the thanks I get for loving you? Is this how you repay me for giving my heart to you? You go off and try to kill yourself??"  
  
Faramir was floored. Did she just say what he thought she just said? Suddenly feeling all the courage he had bottled up inside of him, he grabbed her by the arms and shook her hard.  
  
"WOULD YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND LET ME TALK??"  
  
Gaelwyn didn't know if she quit yelling because he was shaking her or the fact that he was actually yelling and sticking up for himself.  
  
"Go ahead", she said meekly.  
  
Faramir didn't take his grip off her arms, and looked down at her.  
  
"I used to hate my life. Yes, I used to try to kill myself. I even tried to the night before you came here. But once I met you, something inside me changed. Something wanted to live. And the other night when we had sex, I was 100% happy for once. You've given me a reason to want to live. Those things were sitting there in that box because I was going to throw them away today.", he said, not once looking away from her.  
  
Gaelwyn sighed, feeling her heart flutter. So he loved her???  
  
Faramir continued, "After the other night, I was afraid that it was a drunken fling, because around here, that's usually all that happens, and I didn't want that to be the end of us".  
  
Suddenly jumping into his arms and throwing her arms around his neck, she smiled, "Faramir, nothing will be the end of us".  
  
Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him, he tilted his head to the side.  
  
"And what does that mean?"  
  
Gaelwyn giggled, "It means that I love you, silly boy."  
  
Faramir bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, "And I love you".  
  
Gaelwyn took him into another kiss, this one more passionate. She ran her leg up his for a moment before he broke the kiss and picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He hovered over her, his arms on either side of her supporting his weight, as he leaned down and planted kisses on her neck. She reached up and started unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it to the floor once it was off. She ran her hands up his bare chest, loving how manly and sexy he looked without a shirt. She placed soft kisses along his collarbone and down the center of his chest in between his pectorals.  
  
Faramir bit his lip and groaned a bit, loving the way she treated him like a man. He also loved the way that she knew which buttons to push to make a long hidden side of him appear. One he knew drove her insane with desire. He felt her lips on his chest and her hands on his back. Once he felt her nails drag down the bare skin of his back, he knew that side was about to awaken.  
  
"You want me?" he asked, his voice low and sultry. He reached down and unbuttoned her shorts, yanking them off of her, and positioned himself in between her legs once they were off.  
  
Gaelwyn reached up and unbuckled Faramir's belt, pulling it off of him. Fumbling with the button of his own pants, she leaned up, kissing him. Getting distracted, she ran her nails up and down his back, as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off. Breaking the kiss, she looked up at him seductively and grabbed his package.  
  
"Fuck me"  
  
Faramir didn't waste any time. Gaelwyn's cry of ecstasy was heard loud and clear by the eavesdroppers outside the door.  
  
Nef, Aragorn and Legolas had just walked up when they heard Faramir's "you want me" comment, and decided not to ruin his fun. They were happy for him. Hearing both Gaelwyn's screams and Faramir's moans, Nef was about to suggest leaving when suddenly Legolas started to hyperventilate.  
  
"What??", Nef asked, getting her answer right when she looked up.  
  
Gil-galad was walking down the hallway. He noticed the group in front of the door, and stopped.  
  
"Excuse me, have you seen my daughter, Gaelwyn, anywhere lately?", he asked, his eyes hard.  
  
Nef looked at Legolas, who looked at Aragorn. They were about to respond when Gil-galad got his answer.  
  
"NORO LIM, FARAMIR!!!!"  
  
All 3 students stood horrified as Gil-galad's fury was unleashed.  
  
***  
  
Sam took some deep, calming breaths. Well, they were supposed to be calming, but it didn't really work. So he found no need to wait any longer, and knocked the door. A few seconds passed, before the door opened, revealing Frodo Baggins. His curly, chestnut coloured hair, was slightly damp, probably from a resent shower. Sam smiled, Frodo was most likely the cutest sight on the face of the earth.  
  
"Yes?? You're Samwise right??"  
  
Sam smiled in spite of himself, and nodded, "Hi Mr. Frodo."  
  
The blue-eyed hobbit tilted his head, but smiled, "Frodo will do. You wanna come in??"  
  
"Yes, please," Sam replied formally enough, but inside, he was whooping in joy.  
  
Frodo stopped at his desk, "Tea?"  
  
Sam nodded, maybe a little to enthusiastically, "Yes, please."  
  
"Stop saying 'yes, please," Frodo grinned.  
  
"Okay," Sam replied and sat down. Yahoo!!  
  
***  
  
"Gaelwyn, what in all of Middle-Earth are you DOING?!?!"  
  
Gaelwyn yelped loudly and accidentally threw Faramir off her. The human gasped, and fell heavily onto the floor, landing butt-naked at his Latin- Teacher's feet, face down. "Oh dear Valar."  
  
The she-Elf stared at her father, "Daddy, what are you doing??"  
  
"Looking for you. I didn't expect to see so much of you though," Gil-galad answered, and while Gaelwyn tried to pull the sheets tighter around herself, he raised an eyebrow at Faramir, "you're Denethor's boy."  
  
"Eh, yes." Faramir mumbled, and wondered how to get up, without being so damn naked in front of his girlfriends father. His Latin grades might not be so good this semester.  
  
Gil-galad actually looked more disappointed of his daughter, then he looked mad at Faramir, "Why are you rebelling, sweetheart??"  
  
"I'm not rebelling, I'm having sex," Gaelwyn muttered crossly.  
  
Gil-galad unfortunately (damn elves good hearing) heard her, "What was that, honey??"  
  
"Nothing, Daddy," Gaelwyn quickly replied.  
  
Faramir, who was still laying on the floor, gulped. Ever tried being naked on a harsh rug?? Not pretty, you could get rug-burns. There.  
  
"Gaelwyn, sex is very personal," Gil-galad said, sounding to tender compared to his looks. "This boy is probably just using you."  
  
"Excuse me, Professor Gil-galad. But I'm actually in love with your daughter." Now, you try saying that, on the floor, naked, before the feet of your future possible father in-law, and keeping your dignity. Gaelwyn smiled thinly, and Gil-galad huffy, and walked out the room.  
  
The youngsters sighed in relief, when Gil-galad popped his head in again, "If she gets pregnant, the child better not have your big nose, Denethor's son!!"  
  
A beat, then Gil-galad disappeared, leaving Faramir and Gaelwyn alone again. "Wanna pick up where we left off??" Gaelwyn asked innocently.  
  
"Your father just caught us having sex," Faramir exclaimed, getting up.  
  
Gaelwyn shrugged, "So?"  
  
***  
  
Dinner. If you try to block out the annoying chatter from the hobbit table, and the burps from the dwarfs, it's not that bad. The entire gang, including Idril and Haldir's brothers, had taken over a table in the middle, and were chatting ordinarily.  
  
That didn't last long though. Aragorn suddenly stood up on his chair, cleared his throat and began speaking:  
  
"Excuse me, I have and announcement!!!" he yelled loudly. Nef raised an eyebrow, and wondered a few seconds. But the answer came swiftly, " Faramir, son of Denethor is finally getting some!! And believe it or not, it's actually with a girl- Our very own, Gaelwyn!! Yes, that right, Faramir is shagging our latin-teacher's DAUGHTER!!"  
  
Now, that got people's attention. Mostly in a "Cheer and make cat-calls" kind of way.  
  
Nef was baffled, Haldir stopped chewing his steak, and Legolas sniffed the content of Aragorn's drink. "I think it's vodka, cheap. Maybe from Belgium," he said thoughtfully, tasting it slowly, "Yup, Belgium."  
  
"The shit has erupted," Figwit whispered, and followed Faramir's movement towards Aragorn.  
  
Nef nodded and inched away from Aragorn's end of the table. "Aragorn, son of Arathorn," Faramir growled, but Aragorn only smiled charmingly.  
  
"Yes, my little friend??"  
  
Legolas leaned ahead, "I think our boys are gonna fiiiiight," He sang at Gaelwyn, who was too surprised of Faramir's actions to do anything.  
  
The shit did indeed erupt. Aragorn had apparently said something more to Faramir. And now, Faramir was kicking the living daylight out of Aragorn. Not that the drunken Dunedain had a big chance at defending himself, but still.  
  
Nef sighed and poked her beans. The rest of the hall was cheering loudly, including all of the gang. Especially Idril was very eager. Nef could spot Boromir with his mouth open wide, and Éowyn crying openly in the middle of the room. That'd show the bitch. Nef also spotted Sauron turning up in the door, but when he saw who was fighting, even he just stood there, looking extremely surprised. There was a loud crack, maybe a chair breaking. Then some more fighting noises.  
  
"Stop it, Faramir, he friggin' fainted!!!"  
  
That would be Gaelwyn. Nef turned around, and smiled ruefully at the sight. Aragorn must've hit Faramir a few times, because his lip was cracked, bleeding lightly. Aragorn on the other hand, looked like something from a horror movie. Very beaten up. That might be the reason why Sauron just smiled evily and walked away again.  
  
The rest of the room realised the show was over, and went back to their seats. Legolas loomed over the unconscious Aragorn, "I'll drag him back."  
  
Faramir growled, but Gaelwyn held him back. While Figwit helped Legolas with Aragorn, Haldir found his seat beside Nef, "It's kinda romantic."  
  
Nef nodded, and raised an eyebrow at the pair in question. Gaelwyn was fussing over Faramir's lip, and dragging him out the room. "It's sweet, I paired them up."  
  
"You're Cupid," Haldir confirmed, and grinned at the glare Nef sent him.  
  
"Goodnight brother." Rúmil was standing on the other side of the table, "Goodnight, fair Nefhuinëiel."  
  
Haldir snorted, but then turned quickly at Nef, "You want me to be like that??"  
  
"Haldir, you're being silly." Nef said plainly, and waved as Elladan and Elrohir walked out, "I don't like Rúmil's cheesy lines." She took a sip of her coke, and nodded at Glorfindel as he left with Idril. "I like you. I love you."  
  
Haldir smiled brightly, "So, we can have comfort sex now??"  
  
Nef rolled her eyes, "Males."  
  
***  
  
"Well, who stole your mushroom??" Brook asked, walking into Pippin and Merry's dorm room.  
  
Pippin gulped, "I got Pearl pregnant."  
  
Brook smirked, "Bugger, eh??"  
  
"Not really, I'm just surprised," Pippin mused, leaning back in his chair. It was true, he wasn't sad that he'd got her pregnant, he wanted children. But just not right then.  
  
"Aha." Brook confirmed, and picked up a book. She raised an eyebrow and held it up for Pip to see. The book was entitled 'Hobbit Babies'. Pippin shrugged, and began tapping his pencil loudly.  
  
"What did you do, when she told you??" Brook asked.  
  
Pippin blushed, "I kinda fainted."  
  
Brook frowned, "That's not good."  
  
"Merry talked with her, I think we're okay. I love her, it's okay."  
  
Brook rolled her eyes, "Yeah right."  
  
***  
  
"We missed the bed again," Melianwen sighed. She was currently under a rug on the floor, with Boromir.  
  
He nodded, "Seems like it." After the shock of seeing his little brother kick ass, Boromir had found it very comforting to know, that he at least had a lover too. Imagine your little brother having sex, but not you. Nasty.  
  
"Have you seen my underwear?" Melianwen asked and crawled back under.  
  
Boromir smiled to himself, "Yes, it's sexy."  
  
"Stupid git," Melianwen answered from under the rug. Her head came back up, and she wiggled as she (Boromir assumed) pulled on her panties.  
  
"What is this to you??" Boromir asked gently. "This thing we have??"  
  
"We don't have 'a thing'," Melianwen replied, and got up, collecting her clothes on the floor, "We have this," she pulled on her shirt, "That's all."  
  
Boromir closed his eyes, and fell back to the floor, "Do you even like me??"  
  
"Sometimes," Melianwen said softly, "You're my buddy. I shouldn't even be here."  
  
Boromir frowned, "So, you're just using me as comfort, until your parent can get you home??"  
  
"I don't know, I do like you, it's just." she stopped and closed her pants, "Goodnight, Boromir," she whispered, and walked out the door.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Lovely, Sunday, and I have another chappy ready. Applause me!! Feel the shiny blue bottom call you!! It's power is to great, you must review. Ahhhrg!! Alright, I think I need to lay off the coffee. 


	15. Remember the OC's

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
OC list:  
  
Disclaimer: The characters described in this chapter, either belongs to me, or the people written on them. haven't made any money of them.  
  
Okay, public demand (by A Certain Individual) is the reason for the chapter (also it's fun to reflect on my own character creations). It includes all the OC's, races, houses and roommates:  
  
Houses:  
  
Mellon: Friend, my little elvish speaking person. This house, is occupied by hobbits and dwarfs.  
  
Morie: Most normal, 'tall' people are in this house. Most elves actually.  
  
Dain: The snobbish house, for finer humans and elves.  
  
OC'S:  
  
We'll start with the oldest, and have the newest at the bottom:  
  
***  
  
Nefhuinëiel Anìron  
  
Nickname: Nef  
  
Race: Elf  
  
Age: 2166  
  
Dating: Haldir  
  
House: Dain  
  
Roommate: Faramir  
  
Closest Friends: Legolas, Aragorn, Faramir, Figwit, Gaelwyn, Haldir  
  
Other: Smokes, drinks, sarcastic, hates dwarfs (like other elves), Rúmil's trying to hit on her, saved Faramir from killing himself, is by Haldir describes as Cupid.  
  
***  
  
Pearl Hornblower of Brockenborings  
  
Nickname: Just Pearl, maybe Pearly.  
  
Race: Hobbit  
  
Age: 26  
  
Dating: Pippin  
  
House: Mellon  
  
Roommate: Sam  
  
Closest Friends: Sam, Merry and maybe Brook (see later) in the future.  
  
Other: Started like the cute little nervous girl, but after meeting Pippin she grew tuff. She just found that she is pregnant with Pippin's child, Diamond of Longcleeve hates her and visa versa. Also, Pearl tends to feel very unsure of herself.  
  
***  
  
Mîm Saphirelaughter  
  
Nickname: Mîm  
  
Race: Dwarf  
  
Age: 106  
  
Dating: No one  
  
House: Mellon  
  
Roommate: Rosie Cotton  
  
Closest Friends: Rosie, Balin and Gimli.  
  
Other: Drinks, gets her ass kicked by elves and apparently likes it, cousins to Balin and Gimli, has a soft spot for hobbits and is very ironically.  
  
***  
  
Melianwen daughter of Thalion  
  
Nickname: Mel  
  
Race: Human  
  
Age: 29  
  
Dating: Although she's having sex with Boromir, she refuses to have a relationship with him.  
  
House: Morie (to separate her from those like her)  
  
Roommates: Legolas and Aragorn  
  
Closest Friends: Isildur, Boromir  
  
Other: Snobbish, hopes to get out within the nearest future, is shamelessly using Boromir for her own ease, cruel, and by most known as the 'mean bitch'.  
  
***  
  
Fiora  
  
Nickname: None  
  
Race: Human  
  
Age: I dunno, 15 to 16 (in my world)  
  
Dating: Well, she has a lot of wishes, but none right now  
  
House: Dain  
  
Roommate: Single room  
  
Closest Friends: Èomer  
  
Other: Insane, you can tell. She speaks funny, and she is downright weird. Created for fun.  
  
Creator: Fiora-Da-Insane.  
  
***  
  
Gaelwyn Tathariel  
  
Nickname: Gaelwyn  
  
Race: Elf  
  
Age: 6000  
  
Dating: Faramir  
  
House: Dain  
  
Roommate: Single room  
  
Closest Friends: Nef, Faramir, Legolas, Aragorn and kinda Glorfindel.  
  
Other: Daughter of Gil-galad, the latin teacher. Is currently shagging Faramir, hippie-elf, rebellious, sarcastic, funny.  
  
Creator: Lily  
  
***  
  
Idril of Gondolin  
  
Nickname: Idril  
  
Race: Elf  
  
Age: 2000-ish  
  
Dating: None  
  
House: Morie  
  
Roommate: None, luckily  
  
Closest Friends: Again, I repeat none. She's a loner.  
  
Other: Goth elf, Glorfindel's little sister who rebelled, and is now a punk. She drink and swears enough to make Nef's ears red, and Glorfindel is not pleased about her behaviour.  
  
Creator: Lady Idril  
  
***  
  
Brook Boffin  
  
Nickname: Brook, Brooky (Heehee)  
  
Race: Hobbit  
  
Age: 28  
  
Dating: None, at the moment  
  
House: Mellon  
  
Roommate: Random hobbit, I'll come up with something.  
  
Closest Friends: Pippin, Merry and in the future maybe Pearl  
  
Other: A mean bitch, but with strong sense of justice. Extremely protective, and sarcastic. She hates Diamond of Longcleeve, and used to have sex with Pippin. We haven't seen yet, but she likes animals, and has lot's of bigger brothers, who taught her how to fight.  
  
Creator: Dee Sarrachi  
  
***  
  
I think that's it. Hope it helped you guys, I hate to think you don't know what I'm talking about. Next chapter up in. I hope to have it before Friday, because I'm going to Sweden again, up 'till Easter. If not, in Easter. Bye. 


	16. The One With The Kama Sutra In the End

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: The Kama Sutra thing belongs to BreeGirls, but Lily allowed me to borrow it. Yeah!! The LoTR character are only with me for a short dinner, and maybe a pint. The OC's are harder to get rid of.  
  
A/N: (continue sentence from Disclaimer) And actually, this chapter is dedicated, to the Newest of them. We have a new elfie or two. Have you people noticed how many reviews I have?? Keep them coming, Fiora, Dee, and all my fan-girls!! I love you, make me reach 200!!! Then we'll have another party.  
  
Kate: No elf would be named Kate. You're now, named by the Barrow Downs name-generator, Lainauriel.  
  
The Critic: Does the term AU mean anything to you?? Boromir is in the story too, and he's dead. Gil-galad is dead, and I'm pretty sure Glorfindel hasn't got a little sister who's named Idril, is a rebel and has black hair. This is humor!!! Not a serious essay. As for the Melianwen/Boromir looking like Buffy/Spike, it's supposed to. Buffy also used Spike for her own relieve, and that's the point.  
  
Aerin: No, Figwit is. . . Figwit, you don't know Figwit?? What kind of a fangirl are you??. . . He's the dark-haired elf who sits next to Aragorn at the counsel of Elrond. I though everybody knew him. Wait, a reviewer did mention it's scary that everybody does. He's in the movie, like, five seconds. He doesn't have any lines. And my friend knows the actor, ha!! Okay, hope that enough for you.  
  
Orly_rulz: Aw, my biggest fan. Thank you so much.  
  
***  
  
Nef strolled into the smoking circle, expecting it to be empty. But that was certainly not the case. "Well, well." A voice grinned.  
  
Nef turned her head, and rolled her eyes. The one with the hideous hair, "Hello Idril."  
  
Idril waved, and took a drag of her joint, "Where's your puppy??"  
  
"My what??" Nef asked confused, accepting a lighter Idril offered her.  
  
"Your boyfriend what's-his-name," the punk continued, and watched amused as Nef choked on her smoke.  
  
"He's not my puppy!!" Nef coughed, and stared in disbelieve.  
  
Idril shrugged, "Well, he always looks at you with big, brown, puppy-eyes." Another drag of her joint, "I just thought you noticed yourself." Nef leaned back against a tree, closing her eyes tightly. Puppy-eyes, that was so. . . Boyfiend-y. "Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, it just seems soft, that's all," Idril ended.  
  
Nef nodded shortly, "It's cute. He's my boyfriend."  
  
"And here I was, thinking you were the fuck-buddy-type," Idril mutter, but loud enough so that Nef would hear.  
  
The blond Elf paused, considering, "I like him, I love him, he's my boyfriend."  
  
Idril crooked an eyebrow, "As long as you're clear on that, sugar."  
  
Nef nodded sharply. She was ready for a real boyfriend. Idril smiled evilly, "So, you don't wanna sneak into town and hook up with someone Saturday??"  
  
***  
  
"You're crazy."  
  
Fiora looked questioningly at the blond boy by her side, "Why is that, Éomer?"  
  
"Well," Éomer started, "First of all, what are we doing??"  
  
"We're sneaking into the teacher's lounge to place a stink bomb, then we'll laugh." Fiora seemed to be thinking it was a truly stupid question.  
  
Éomer rolled his eyes, "I think we established that, when you woke me up shouting 'I have an idea. Let's sneak into the teacher's lounge and place a stink bomb'. . . I mean, the chances are we'll be caught."  
  
"So??" Again, Fiora didn't seem to catch Éomer's point.  
  
"Detention??"  
  
"I spent the last month in detention," Fiora said, a little to brightly.  
  
Éomer dropped the subject, and followed Fiora around the corner. The teacher's lounge was right ahead, in the end of a long, bright corridor. Éomer swallowed a lump forming in his throat, and walked on, as Fiora did so.  
  
"Lighter??" Fiora held out her hand and the male obliged, giving her his lighter.  
  
Fiora light the home-made little bomb, and squinted at it. She muttered a few seconds, then opened the door quickly, throwing the bomb in. "3-2-1."  
  
There was a scream, the several more. That was followed be coughs, squeals and 'Oh Valar!!'s. Fiora smiled, "Mission accomplished."  
  
***  
  
"Do you know why you're here??"  
  
"I killed someone??" Gaelwyn suggested with a nervous smile.  
  
Wormtongue smiled waaaaaay to comfortingly, "Gaelwyn, you're father asked me to have a chat with you."  
  
Gaelwyn's smile faded and she had to carry on the chant she practised earlier, when Wormtongue had asked her to follow him: 'He's into blondes, he's into blondes, my father would kill him, my father would kill him, Faramir would kill him, Faramir would kill him'. "Really?" she asked thinly.  
  
Wormtongue nodded, "He thinks you need counselling."  
  
"Well, this is a rehabilitation center, isn't it??" Gaelwyn snorted.  
  
Wormtongue nodded again, the fake (and very creepy) smile still on his lips, "It is. But most of you people need more then a rehab center. You're young, you need schooling and discipline."  
  
Gaelwyn raised an eyebrow, "Really, Mr. Wormtongue?"  
  
"We are trying to help you, make you kids better citizens. And please, call me Gríma." The smile turned to charming for Gaelwyn's liking.  
  
"I don't need help," she said firmly, but her voice trembling a tad.  
  
Wormtongue seemed mildly amused, "You're fucking Denethor's Son."  
  
"No I'm not," Gaelwyn snapped, "I'm making love with him."  
  
Wormtongue looked smug, "I somehow doubt that." When he then liked his lips and leaned slightly forward, Gaelwyn stormed out the office, a look of disgust on her features.  
  
***  
  
"Hi Pearl, how's it hangin'??"  
  
Pearl looked up from her History homework, "Hi Brook, good."  
  
Brook frowned, and tilted her head, "I was thinking bad, with the pregnancy and all, but hey."  
  
"How do you. . . know??" Pearl asked, bewildered and slightly annoyed.  
  
Brook threw some of her red hair over her shoulder, "Peregrin told me."  
  
"He hasn't been giving out flyers yet??"  
  
The redhead raised an eyebrow, "So, Pip was wrong about you being fine??"  
  
Pearl threw her book down, "He said I was fine?? FINE??" she spat, and threw her 'Wars of the Age' out the window. Note that the window was closed.  
  
"I'm guessing not," Brook muttered, and looked after the book. "That's gonna cost ya'"  
  
Pearl glared at the red-head, "So will a child." Brook didn't say anything, she just sat down on Sam's bed. Pearl took a deep, shaky, breath and continued, "He fainted."  
  
Brook smiled thinly, "He told me that too. But he wants the child."  
  
"Really??" No enthusiasm in the question, whatsoever.  
  
"Yes, you git."  
  
Pearl sighed, and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, "He does?"  
  
Brook nodded firmly, and placed a comforting hand on the younger hobbit's shoulder.  
  
***  
  
"Room 62," Lainauriel confirmed and knocked the door. Loud punk music was blasting inside. Violent, but catchy. 'Crawl on me, sink into me, die for me, Living Dead Girl' . Lainauriel remembered it as Rob Zombie. She knocked again, as the music was turned down a little.  
  
The door opened, and a black-haired elf, with numerous piercings and heavy make-up glared at her, "What!?"  
  
Lainauriel frowned, "I'm supposed to move in, I'm your new roomie."  
  
The punk gave her a look, and snorted, "You like the music??"  
  
Lainauriel smiled smugly and lowered her head, making her sandy hair fall over her face, "Rob Zombie is good. But he's no SlipKnot."  
  
The punk laughed loudly, if not cheerfully, "Idril."  
  
"Lainauriel."  
  
Idril moved from the door, and as Lainauriel walked in, she cued up the music again, 'Blood on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again, Living Dead Girl!!'  
  
***  
  
"This should be good," Mîm said enthusiastically. She picked up the application-form, and handed one to Gimli. Elective classes, what fun.  
  
"Poetry, Gardening, Mining, Theatre, boring, boring, bla, bla, bla. . ." Gimli confirmed. Mîm rolled her eyes, and began filling out the small boxes. "Well, I'm for mining," Gimli murmured, and began writing information's down.  
  
Nef and Legolas glared at the dwarfs as they passed by, and Gimli backed ever so slightly away. After Nef had kicked his ass, he showed her surprisingly lot of respect.  
  
"Poetry, that sounds nice," Nef said and pointed, "And it's an Elf teaching."  
  
Legolas scanned his own paper, "Aragorn want to take Gymnastics. I'd love him in tights though." Legolas grinned at the private thought.  
  
Nef laughed loudly, and crossed on a few boxes, "How about Theatre??"  
  
"Sure," Legolas replied, and Nef noticed why his voice didn't sound enthusiastic at all. Aragorn had walk up behind him, and the two was now beginning a little snog-fest. And following Aragorn was, Haldir and Figwit.  
  
"My boyfriend," Nef squeaked happily, and hugged the both confused but pleased, blond male.  
  
Legolas got his mouth away from Aragorn for a few seconds, "We're taking Theatre."  
  
Figwit grabbed a few forms, and handed them out to the group, "Theatre it is."  
  
"Hey guys," Gaelwyn yelled from across the room, walking in with Faramir. Figwit sighed melancholically, they were holding hands. "What are we taking."  
  
"Theatre," came the reply from the whole gang, "And whatever you want," Legolas added.  
  
Gaelwyn nodded with an amused smile, "And began writing her information's. Using Faramirs' back as a table.  
  
"Howdy." Nef raised an eyebrow, now noting that everybody she knew was situated in the cafeteria. Glorfindel, followed by Idril, Rúmil, Orophin, Éomer, Fiora, and some new Lothlórien Girl.  
  
"We're all taking Theatre," Aragorn said loudly, while filling out his own papers.  
  
Since no one was taking the initiative of it, Gaelwyn held her hand out to the new girl, "I'm Gaelwyn, you are??"  
  
"Lainauriel, hi." The rest of the gang unenthusiastically gave their names.  
  
Nef looked up, "Does anybody wanna have Poetry with me." Her eyes fell on Fiora a few seconds, then scanned on. She paused, and looked back at Fiora. Well, at her T-shirt really. 'No one's hitting on me, cannot cope'.  
  
"I do," Haldir smiled, and kissed Nef's neck softly. "And maybe Fiora should hook up with Figwit." He whispered in his girlfriends' ear.  
  
Nef shrugged, "Can we go back to your room??" Legolas waved cheerfully after the pair, as the scampered off.  
  
***  
  
"Sam??"  
  
"Yes??"  
  
"I can't move."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I believe you heard me."  
  
"You can't move!?"  
  
"Again, that's what I'm saying."  
  
"Frodo, you're telling me we're stuck?!?"  
  
Frodo tried to move his hip, "Yep. Maybe Kama Sutra isn't a hobbit thing. . ."  
  
Sam shifted with a slight groan, "No, kidding. What the hell are we going to do??"  
  
Frodo shrugged, placing a kiss on Sam's forehead, "You have that roomie- girlfriend. She'll look for you eventually."  
  
"If she's not busy screwing Peregrin," Sam muttered, somehow trying to get loose.  
  
Frodo yelped, "That hurt."  
  
"Sorry." Sam stopped trying to move.  
  
"And how can you not like her having sex, seeing that you're-" Frodo loosed one arm and waved around the room to prove his point. Candles, the abandoned tea, and of course the two naked hobbit's, stuck in some weird position.  
  
***  
  
"Telling Sam, no problem, I mean, jeesh." Pearl was striding in the general direction of Frodo's room, since Sam hadn't been anywhere else. But still... Sam was kinda like her bestest (Galadriel screamed somewhere in the corridors) friend. Gay, who cared. He was her mentor, her protector. Aside from Brook. And Pearl knew he'd have a hard time accepting a pregnancy. And strangely enough, Sam's approval meant a good damn lot to her.  
  
Pearl stopped outside Frodo's dorm, taking a deep breath before knocking. Silence. "Yes??" a voice then asked quivering.  
  
Pearl frowned, "Sam??"  
  
"Pearl. Get in here!!" Sam sounded relieved, "But not if you just ate." Pearl shrugged, her wooziness was worst in the morning anyway. So, she went in. And froze in the door. "Hey, close that," Sam urged.  
  
Pearl smacked the door shut, "Why?? The world shouldn't know Frodo Baggins is shagging you, and why the hell aren't any of you getting descent?" Pearl yelled fanatically.  
  
"We're stuck," Frodo supplied. Sam groaned and tried to hide his head in the pillow. It didn't work, Frodo's ankle was in the way. Don't ask how.  
  
Pearl looked like a light flicked in her eyes, "I'm pregnant with Pippin's child!!" she declare shortly.  
  
Frodo sent her a charming wink, while Sam's head suddenly shot up and stared at her, "Pearl!!" Both disappointed, judgmental and all.  
  
Pearl saw her chance, "How dare you judge me, I'm not the one with a dick in my ass!!" Frodo smirked somewhat evilly, while Sam sent her a dirty look.  
  
"No, you obviously have it other places."  
  
Pearl froze, before storming out the room in anger. Sam looked after her, relieved that she at least shut the door.  
  
"Sam, you're the stupidest hobbit I've ever known," Frodo exclaimed.  
  
"What??"  
  
Frodo stared at his lover, both angry and fanatic, "We're still stuck."  
  
"Oh." Frodo rolled his eyes, "Maybe she'll send Pippin," Sam suggested.  
  
Frodo suddenly smiled a very naughty smile, "So you like someone to watch??"  
  
Sam would throw a pillow at the other party, but his arm was stuck between his leg and Frodo's hip.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Too short, but I'm very busy. So deal. 


	17. Friday Afternoon Doodles

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: The Tolkien stuff belongs to Tolkien, and the OC's belongs to those who made them.  
  
A/N: A short special chapter. No dialogue, it's all from my (as seeing the bigger picture here!!) Point of View. Didn't you know, I have no control whatsoever over these little devils??  
  
Reviewers. Number 200, I'll kiss your feet. I Lub You All!!! I love getting reviews, but people, Figwit is not going to Fiora. Figwit is going to the elf version of Bret McKenzie (Figwit's actor, if you don't know his name)'s girlfriend. In case you don't know, I'm friends with someone (very sweet), who knows him. *Looks waaaay to proud*  
  
***  
  
Friday again. The day the hormones really go crazy. Nef was going to detention. Understandable. When Gil-galad had asked, why she was late for class and hadn't done any reading, she replied 'Erare humanum est.' It's human to fail. It wasn't exactly that, it was more that she then winked at Gaelwyn and Faramir. Gaelwyn had started giggling so hard, Gil-galad had to make his determined-face.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn was less cheerful. Melianwen had managed being a bigger bitch then usual. They'd figured out it had something to do with Boromir, which was right. Love hurts baby. So, Melianwen had been as hostile as an orc with a hobbit leg. (They don't need their legs, can't we eat those?) She had snapped, nagged, pretended to gag and other stuff that sounds evil and rhymes. It spoiled the sexy mood Legolas had been in, since Faramir kicked Aragorn's ass. A perfect let-me-nurse-you-oh-sexy-ranger-mood. Only the nursing had quickly moved from lip to dick. . . Stupid rhymes.  
  
Anyway, Melianwen did have a very good reason to be a bitch. Frustration and your period at once, is a hard one to swallow. Frustration over the Boromir business. He loved her, he said so himself. That was not right, no one should ever love Melianwen daughter of Thalion. So, she had set that straight, no love. Boromir had been angry, but Melianwen had prissily stormed out. In her dorm was a letter from her mother. There was now no chance left in hell, for her parents to get her out. Melianwen was stuck in hell.  
  
Boromir was sulking. Melianwen seemed to give a shit about his feelings, and that was basically pissing him off. Not that Mablung was being a helpful friend, he and Isildur just suggested that Boromir sneaked to town with them Saturday. Then they had laughed really loud, and done some very distasteful movements. Boromir suspected they had a little before-Latin- drink. Nunc est bibendum. Now it's time to drink.  
  
Gaelwyn was having the time of her life. It might be the pills Haldir had given her before the first class, at least Figwit had found the whole thing very amusing. So, first of all, she couldn't stop giggling, and she found herself being very loving and caring. 'Specially when it came to Faramir.  
  
In Mellon-house, things were tense. Pearl had sent Pippin to untangle Sam and Frodo, but when the young Took suggested using a crowbar, Sam had asked for him to get Merry. Merry had then spend an hour trying untangle them, when Frodo realised he actually could move. So, Merry had come back to his dorm, only to find Pippin sulking. Sulking was apparently very 'in' that day. Pearl had refused to talk with him, and he was touchy about it. So when Brook, after Merry had listened to Pippin's complaining for two hours, popped in and asked if she could talk with Merry, he answered 'yes' a little to fast.  
  
Brook was troubled. Someone had stolen her bed-sheets, and she suspected it was Diamond. That wasn't the problem, she'd just beat up Diamond, the problem was the Brook couldn't find Diamond. But Merry soon realised, Brook only bothered searching for about five minutes before giving up. So, with a critical look, he send her to see Pearl.  
  
Pearl was currently doing her homework (for a change). Brook noted that she'd broken five pencils. And to Brook's delight, Pearl actually knew that Diamond was in the cafeteria. That led to Pearl getting a bit cheered up, as Brook kicked the living daylight out of Diamond.  
  
Mîm was (in spite of the rest of the school's condition) having a wonderful day. Gimli, Balin and her, had skipped the last lesson, and gotten drunk. Of course, they'd soon be busted and sent to detention, but you don't worry about that when you're drunk. If you do, you're not drunk enough.  
  
Idril and Lainauriel was cleaning toilets. Some of you might be wondering why . . . Well, the had listed to Disturbed at midnight. Very loudly. To be hornets, they woke the entire building. Not that they wouldn't do it again, but they were sulking about the injustice in society.  
  
Rúmil had spent the entire day glancing at Nef. Orophin had noticed, but he chose to ignore his brother's behaviour. He knew what he was up to, and so did Haldir by the way. Rúmil was planning to hit on Nef, all they didn't know was when. How was optional: a) Get her drunk, b) Make her and Haldir fight or c) Just be irresistible and jump her. Haldir was nervous about his brother trying b first. Well, c was bad too. Actually would a be the easiest to cope with. Nef would end up sober compared to Rúmil. He wasn't good at drinking.  
  
A/N: Short, and special. There's a reason. Tomorrow is my final Math exam, my life depends on it. I have to get some sleep. After this week, you'll have a giant chapter, okay?? Feel the review bottom calling your name. Lucky 200 gets a kiss from me. . . Mwap. That would be a kissing sound. It isn't very good is it?? 


	18. The One Where The Plot Get's Thicker The...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: Do we have to go over this again?? I don't own the LoTR characters, and you people own half the OC's. Ya' happy??  
  
~*~A/N: I got 200!!!! Actually I got 213!!! Wow, that's something I'd never expected would happen with this story. Okay, anyway, moving on... Because I got so many reviews and my exams are successfully over (*sigh*) you get a big chapter!!! A big one, really big. Like 10 word pages. Now, that's what you get when you review.  
  
And, if there's any perverted Hugo Weaving fans out there (who aren't busy watching hundres of him running around in The Matrix Reloaded), I have a little goody for you. A student/headmaster relationship. To satisfy my current Hugo loving...  
  
Reviewers (Now that I love you guys so much):  
  
Kat: Yes. Drunk people should not care. About Bret, I live in Denmark, he lives far away from here. But, in 20 years, when I'm either a lawyer or a writer, I'll move. And buy a red Ferrari, like Elijah... What kind of lollipop?? LOL!!  
  
orlando_ fangirl: Oh, I lub you too. And please, I'm not the best... Well, if you think so.  
  
bjam: Thank you, it's fun writing those chapters, and I kinda like them. And I have a beta, but I didn't have time to send it.  
  
Kate: *Sulks* I'm not gay. But I think my best friend is. Anyway, don't send the evil Legolas, Nef isn't getting pregnant for the moment. *Smiles Smugly* But someone else might be.  
  
Lady Idril: Thank you for the good luck. The math was the easiest test we've had this year, so I'm hoping for an A, Yay!! And thank you, thank you. This lovely chapter will start with Idril in action. Go figure, or read it.  
  
offspring-the-kids-aint-a : Go you!! Nef and Haldir 4ever!! Have I mentioned I like you??  
  
Renze: Thank you very much. I think a crowbar would be really handy...  
  
Isilwen: Ihh!! I'm glad you like it, very glad.  
  
alina: In this chapter, you'll see Haldir trying to get some. Oh just read, it'll be amusing.  
  
The Oreo of Love: School library printers can be bitches. And thank you for the compliments.  
  
DeeSarrachi: I agree. The bridge chapters are good in a long story like this. And thank you, thank you. Brook is turning out to be really good to write... Disturbing.  
  
A Certain Individual: I don't know ^.^ But I'm glad you liked it.  
  
Aerin: *LoL* You're very amusing when you're hyper. And I'll enjoy the good luck you send me. Also, enjoy and thanks for the review.  
  
Fiora: Love and Insanity. Power and Chaos. We should rule the world, you and me. Make Orlando grow his hair long, dye it, and then have his ear pointed by a plastic-surgeon. Then we'd keep him locked up in the basement. *Smiles and sighs happily* That'd be nice.  
  
Ennedacilwen: Thank you for reviewing, and for the kind words. I have no idea how you spell that word...  
  
elfy baby blue: Incest, how lovely ~.^ I like that stuff, you have a pretty mind...  
  
Chewy: I'm glad you don't care about the grammar. Makes me feel better. And I'm glad you like my story too.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Darkness. The Rehab was silent as the night, no chatter of smoking elves or drinking dwarfs, for some unknown reason. Maybe just to make it sound spookier...  
  
Idril's head peeked behind the corner, "Clear."  
  
"Good," Lainauriel answered, as they both started sprinting over the big open space on the eastern side of the center. They were most appropriately wearing black clothes, well, leather pants, tank-tops (Idril's was saying 'Bad Ass', Lainauriel's 'Bad Girl') and leather jackets.  
  
In a few seconds they met their challenge. Normally, no one could get out the center. You could hide in the small wood when you were cutting lessons, but getting out... That was trickier. Idril smiled briefly at the barbed- wire fence, followed by a moat and then a 15 feet high electrical fence. 2000 Volts. "Idril, isn't that what they used to the fences in Jurassic Park??" Lainauriel asked slowly.  
  
Idril nodded, then pointed casually at a big tree, "We'll crawl up there, and jump over. On the way back, we'll crawl up that one-" She pointed at a tree on the other side of the fence, "And jump back."  
  
The blonder of the two bit her lip, and brushed a bit of hair from her face, " It's pretty high."  
  
"Are you a sissy??" Idril asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Lainauriel puffed up her chest, "Let's go crawl some trees." With that she walked over, and grabbed the nearest branch. Idril followed, looking smug as Satan herself (because Satan is a woman. You think a man could be so cruel??).  
  
***  
  
Pearl glared over the top of her cheap romantic novel, glaring at her roommate to be precise. Sam hadn't spoken to her after he found out she was pregnant. Actually she had only spoken civilised with Brook. That was weird. "Sam, would you mind talking??"  
  
Sam looked up from his heartsease flowers, and seemed both angry and disappointed, "Maybe I do."  
  
"Hey pal!!" Pearl yelled suddenly. PMS, damn those hormones. But if she was lucky, sadness wouldn't come, only enough anger to yell at Sam, "It's was an accident, I didn't mean to get pregnant with Pippin's child. Not exactly my plan!! And then you, who were shagging Frodo Baggins, have the nerve to tell me how to act!! Who the hell do you think you are!?!" Pearl took a shaky breath, and then found her eyes watering up, "And I miss you Samwise. I need you right now, why won't you talk to me??" With that, she broke down crying on her bed.  
  
Without a word, Sam sat beside her, in silence hugging her as she cried.  
  
(A/N: *Sniffles*)  
  
***  
  
"Did you know that you foot is as big as your arm, from your elbow to your wrist??"  
  
Faramir smiled briefly at his girlfriend, "I've seen Pretty Woman."  
  
Gaelwyn let her foot fall down on the floor (she had been measuring, to prove her point), and sighed, "I'm bored."  
  
"And we actually have lot's of Latin to do," Faramir answered, and went back to his notes and books.  
  
Gaelwyn pouted slightly, and started clicking her tongue, "Shouldn't we go to Haldir's room?? Nef must be there because-" Gaelwyn waved her hands, "She's not here."  
  
Faramir gently placed his pencil on his desk, "You can go, I need to work on this." Gaelwyn didn't look convinced. "Look, your father is looking for every opportunity to flunk me, I have to be the friggin' best," Faramir added in a sneer.  
  
"You sneered at me," Gaelwyn said, pissed, "I'm leaving."  
  
Faramir glared at her, "Fine."  
  
"Fine!!" Gaelwyn growled and slammed the door behind her. Once outside, she leaned against the door with a sigh. Bloody hell. She paused but didn't go back in. Determined, she went in direction of Haldir and Figwit's dorm. Somewhere along the way, tears began running down her cheeks.  
  
***  
  
"Now, let's all join hands and say why we lost our temper!! Miss Saphirelaughter??"  
  
Mîm stared at the teacher in disbelieve. He smiled the kind of 'comforting'- smile. Creepy as hell. Now, there was a perfectly good reason for her to be there. Mîm had been slightly... provocative in English Class Friday. When Galadriel had asked her to work with a word, inflect it if you'd like, Mîm had chosen to bend 'Bitch'. Bitchy, Bitchier, Bitchiest. And then Galadriel was in an evil mood. Now, there's something worse then detention, the place the really tuff crowd gets send to, the place even Legolas has nightmares about...; Anger Therapy with King Théoden. Held every Saturday, most crimes done on Friday.  
  
Mîm opened and closed her mouth a few times, "She deserved it??"  
  
Théoden seemed shocked, and kinda angry, "Miss Saphirelaughter!!!"  
  
A tall human grinned behind Théoden's back. Éomer, that was it. Beside him, Fiora was giggling loudly. Not that Théoden noticed, he was too busy trying to yell at Mîm.  
  
"This is interesting," Fiora confirmed, looking around.  
  
Éomer snorted, "Hardly. He'll make us talk about our feelings..."  
  
"But, what did we do??" Fiora was utterly clue-less, "Nothing we haven't done before."  
  
"For your information, Fiora, we threw a water-balloon at Saruman," Éomer said in a sarcastic voice, and Fiora nodded. Éomer rolled his eyes, "And it was filled with paint."  
  
Fiora smiled broadly, "I know, it was fun," she squealed.  
  
"It was," Éomer mused, "Did you see his face??"  
  
"Get out of here, now!!" Fiora mimicked, a fine imitation of their Arts Teacher.  
  
Èomer laughed slightly, "And say hello to King Théoden from me!!" he finished, and Fiora giggled happily.  
  
The before mentioned King cleared his throat, getting the attention of the entire room. "Now, let all face our angry feelings." The room seemed to hold its breath. Théoden picked up something from his desk, holding it out with a smile, "We'll tell them to the Confidentiality Stick!!"  
  
***  
  
"How was detention?"  
  
Nef glared at Haldir and he smiled. "I missed you," she answered sweetly.  
  
Haldir arched an eyebrow, "How much?"  
  
Nef smiled evilly, straddled him and began to unbutton Haldir's shirt. She slowly licked and nibbled her way down his chest, while Haldir's moans began to grow in force. Just when Nef began pulling down the zipper of his jeans...  
  
There was a loud knock on the door. Haldir jumped back, and Nef turned her head sharply, eyes suddenly alert. Gaelwyn's voice rang out, "Nef, what are you doing??"  
  
"My boyfriend, go away," Nef answered shortly, winking at Haldir. He smiled satisfied.  
  
That was until Nef heard the strangled sob, Gaelwyn made as she was about to leave. Nef sprinted to the door, and tore it open. Sure enough, Gaelwyn crying. "What the hell??"  
  
"I'm a silly schoolgirl, crying over nothing," Gaelwyn sobbed, and Haldir groaned loudly, buttoning his shirt again. Females!!  
  
Nef quickly got her poor-you-face on, and placed Gaelwyn in a bean-bag chair. Gaelwyn sniffled and took the tissue Nef held out to her. She blew her nose loudly, and Haldir huffed. Nef glared at him, before addressing Gaelwyn, "Sweety, not being cruel or anything, but what's the matter??"  
  
Gaelwyn's eyes flickered from Haldir to Nef, "Faramir sneered at me, and we kinda fought a little."  
  
Nef blinked, "How little??"  
  
"A few 'fine's," Gaelwyn replied, dried her eyes, "My father doesn't like him, and he's giving him a hard time," she confessed.  
  
Nef sent Haldir a questioning look. Haldir replied with a look, saying something in the lines of 'you wanted to play psychologist, not me'. Nef rolled her eyes, and turned back to her distressed friend, "Gaelwyn, you're not like this, remember??"  
  
"Faramir is making me soft," Gaelwyn supplied, "Prick."  
  
Nef shrugged, "What ever pushes your buttons." Haldir sent his lover a lopsided grin.  
  
Gaelwyn seemed annoyed, "I was tuff girl."  
  
"Hippie-girl," Haldir added helpfully.  
  
"Rebel-girl. Anti-daddy's-girl," Nef continued. "And you still are. Now go back and make up with your sweet Gondorian."  
  
Gaelwyn smiled, and got up with a determined look. Much like how she left Faramir. "Don't count on sleeping in your room."  
  
Nef dismissed the advise, "Like I would've anyway."  
  
Gaelwyn lifted her chin and went out the room. Nef sighed, "How cute," she drawled.  
  
"Where were we??" Haldir asked innocently.  
  
Nef raised and eyebrow, pushing Haldir back to his bed, "Well, I was opening your pants..."  
  
***  
  
Brook was calmly (believe it or not) reading a book. Of course, it was a book about a serial killer, who enjoyed torturing his victims for countless hours before killing them, but what the hell. It's the big picture that counts. There was a quick knock on the door, then Merry came crashing in. Brook groaned, and closed her book, "What??"  
  
"Peregrin is driving me nuts, *again*," Merry grumbled, and sat down in Brooks comfy-chair.  
  
Brook snorted, and got a beer from under her bed. Merry took it without question, drinking half in the first gulp. "He won't talk to Pearl. Pearl won't talk to him."  
  
"Oh, she wanna. She just doesn't think he wanna," Brook said.  
  
"And with him, it's the other way around," Merry groaned, "Why are we talking for them??"  
  
Brook snorted, "The mystery here in life, childishness."  
  
Merry nodded melancholically, "Maybe we should just grab them both, and lock them in the food stash," he said with a grin.  
  
Brook looked thoughtful, "Let's do that," she decided firmly.  
  
"I was joking." Merry sent her a funny look.  
  
"Well, I'm not," Brook proclaimed and got up. "You coming?? I think you have to get Pip."  
  
Merry stared at her, before shrugging, "Sure."  
  
***  
  
Boromir didn't open his window. The knocking had started a few seconds earlier, and was increasing in power. The to-be-Steward stubbornly kept reading in the Geography book on his desk. Suddenly the knocking stopped. A few minutes went by. Boromir was just about to sigh in relieve, when a rock smashed the window effectively.  
  
Isildur's head emerged, "Was that a nice hit, or what??" Mablung's grinning face could be seen behind him.  
  
Boromir rolled his eyes in annoyance, "It was bloody brilliant."  
  
"I smell sarcasm," Isildur sang playfully, "Come on out bro', it's party- time."  
  
Boromir didn't seem convinced, "No thank you."  
  
"Oh come on, Boromir." Mablung was slurring heavily, and leaning a good deal on the window sill. A half empty beer bottle was dangling from his hand.  
  
Boromir considered. Drinking is the best pain-killer known to all of mankind. "Where??"  
  
Isildur gave him a silly smile, "Which bush do you prefer??"  
  
"Studying is clearly overrated," Mablung supplied with a loud grunt.  
  
Boromir smiled for the first time in days, "It sure is." With that, he got up and crawled out his broken window.  
  
***  
  
Arwen stared at her roommate. Éowyn was looking painfully smug. "You gonna go seduce Faramir??" the Elf asked, giving the blond a look which could only be narrowed down to 'you're out of your mind'.  
  
Éowyn nodded, and applied some more lipstick, "That's the plan."  
  
Arwen paused, and you could practically hear her two brain cells bumping into each other. Don't get me wrong, as far as stupid people go, there was people stupider then Arwen. Arwen just used her limited brain capacity on two things; boys and parties. This also included being a bitch, 'cause let's face it: you have to be a bitch to get the prince and rule the party. "Aren't we after Aragorn??"  
  
Éowyn rolled her eyes, "Wake up and smell the coffee, Arwen. Aragorn would rather shag Legolas."  
  
"Well, Legolas does look like a girl," Arwen mused.  
  
Éowyn shrugged, "Yes, but that's not the point." She leaned forward and tried to make her cleavage seem bigger. It didn't work, so she added some toilet-paper. "Faramir is my new target. If only I can get to him fast enough..."  
  
"He's with Gaelwyn..." Arwen raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean fast enough??"  
  
Éowyn smiled mysteriously, "A little birdie told me Gaelwyn left Faramir's room, looking very distressed." She checked her watch. "Five minutes ago."  
  
Arwen began to smile, "You're evil."  
  
"And he's gonna like it," Éowyn said to herself.  
  
***  
  
"Rosie, have you seen Gimli??"  
  
Rosie lifted her eyes from her shirt (she was cutting the sleeves, it was the latest hip. Hobbit's with tank-tops and snickers, beat that), and sighed. Mîm was looking a little to scared for her roommate's liking, "Cousin-fucker."  
  
Mîm frowned in confusion, then grimaced and glared at the snickering hobbit, "You're a freak."  
  
"Don't I know it??" Rosie mused, and began cutting again.  
  
Mîm stepped out the her bed, and lifted the madras. She picked out a bag of (pipe)weed, and turned to face Rosie again, "You didn't answer me."  
  
Rosie didn't look up, but kept her focus on cutting, "I don't keep track on your family. Isn't he with Balin??"  
  
"Nope," Mîm bit her lip, "I bet he's with Fili and Kili."  
  
Rosie stopped her work, "The new ones from Lorien??"  
  
Mîm nodded, "Do you know why they were kicked out of Moria??" Rosie shook her head, and placed the shirt on her bed. Dwarfs never ceased to bring her amusement. "They beat up a teacher. And their father was an alcoholic. And they've done heroin."  
  
Rosie suddenly realised something, "You're afraid that they'll have a bad influence on Gimli," she teased, but only half-hearted. Mîm did have a point.  
  
"I don't want Gimli to become a crack-head or an alcoholic or beat up people," she admitted. "Nor Balin for the matter."  
  
Rosie smiled slightly, "You do care."  
  
Mîm nodded, and fiddled with her weed, "Isn't that what family are for??"  
  
The hobbit nodded, "'Tell you what. I'll go smoke with you."  
  
"Really??" The question was asked with both eyebrows raised.  
  
Rosie grinned, "That's what friends are for."  
  
***  
  
Faramir was troubled. He wanted to go after Gaelwyn, but then again, he didn't. Maybe she wouldn't wanna talk to him, after all she was the one who stormed out. And... he wasn't good at this stuff. Someone knocked on the door. Since Nef was with Haldir, it could only be one person. He skipped to the door, slightly faster then necessary, "Gaelwyn, I'm so glad you..."  
  
That surely wasn't Gaelwyn. The girl was blond, for one thing. It was... wait a sec, "Éowyn??" Faramir felt his eyes widen. The bitch looked good, and her boobs seemed bigger then usual. Maybe it was the tight, low-cut shirt. Her leg also seemed longer, maybe because of the short skirt.  
  
"Hi Faramir." Éowyn batted her eyelashes, and chewed on her gum. It appeared to be pink. "Can I come in, thanks." She didn't wait for an answer, she entered between 'in' and 'thanks'.  
  
Faramir stood in the door a few seconds, then closed the door, "Do whatever you like." When he turned around, Éowyn had made herself comfortable in his beanbag chair, making the skirt seem even shorter. Faramir snapped out of his daze, "What do you want?"  
  
Éowyn looked flirtatiously at him, "You."  
  
"A-what?" Faramir had sat on his bed, and moved slightly backwards from the blond human girl.  
  
Éowyn leaped up, and before Faramir could fight and/or get out, she had tackled him, holding him in place under her. She looked satisfied, "I always did, want you I mean, at least a little."  
  
"Comforting to know," Faramir replied, voice squeaky.  
  
Éowyn grinned like a maniac, and quickly bend down to kiss the trapped Faramir. He tried to struggle, but when her tongue came into play, he stopped. It wasn't like he was kissing her back, but Éowyn turned out to be quite a kisser. And she had a really good grip on Faramir, making escape impossible.  
  
"What the hell?!?"  
  
Faramir found himself being able to breathe again, and opened his eyes to see Éowyn looking at the door with a smug grin. He turned his head, and gasped. Gaelwyn. Tears were welling up in her now glassy eyes, and her lips were quivering. Without a word she stormed out. Éowyn smiled, "Good," the mused to herself, and giggled when Faramir pushed her off.  
  
"Bitch!!" he spat angrily.  
  
Éowyn tilted her head, "I think I'm all you've got left now..." With that, she walked out the room. Faramir wiped her lipstick off his lips with the back of his hand, and walked out his room in search for Gaelwyn.  
  
***  
  
Brook steadily pushed Pearl onwards, ignoring the protests she was making, "I don't see the point."  
  
"They have just gotten T-bars," Brook sang, and Pearl suddenly began walking faster. Trust a pregnant person to follow you, if food is nearby.  
  
They rounded a corner. Pearl frowned when she saw Merry standing there, holding the door slightly open. "Aren't you gonna have any, Merry??" And Pippin's voice from inside.  
  
"You set us up, you little..." Before Pearl could finish the sentence, Brook pushed her into the small room and the door was closed behind her. It was really dark, but smelled like food, which was good. The door was locked with a loud 'click'. "Peregrin??"  
  
The sound of somebody moving was heard, then swallowing (Pearl assumed he had been eating already), "Yes."  
  
Nobody spoke. Something touched Pearls arm, and she jolted slightly, "Chocolate??" Pippin was apparently offering her sweets.  
  
She took it, while grumbling, "You, closed room, I'm having a bad déjà vu."  
  
"Hey, I didn't set this up," Pip snapped from somewhere to Pearl's left. "It's you who won't talk to me."  
  
Pearl snorted, "Hardly. You hate me because I got knocked up."  
  
"Hey!! I love babies," Pippin defended himself. But the pout could easily be heard in the dark.  
  
Silence again. "Then why haven't you told me you're happy??"  
  
Pippin scrambled in the direction of his love, hugging her when he finally got there, "I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's okay," Pearl whispered, and buried her head in Pip's shoulder.  
  
***  
  
Merry smiled broadly, and pulled back from the door where he'd been listening, "They're good to go again."  
  
Brook grinned in glee, "I was right."  
  
"Sure," Merry snorted, and looked mischievously at Brook, who tackled him with a cheer.  
  
***  
  
Melianwen looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and her make-up was all smeared. It was fairly obvious that she had been crying for several hours. Luckily Legolas and Aragorn hadn't been in their dorm for hours. She remembered when she first got to the rehab center. She had been proud and strong. She had believed in coming home soon. Within days. When Boromir offered a temporary runaway from her situation, she took it. It was selfish, she new he had feeling for her, bigger feelings then she had for him. But she figured she'd be able to run away again. She had always been good at running.  
  
And now she was stuck. No way out, and the only person who cared for her?? She just refused him, kind of anyway.  
  
Melianwen shook her head to clear her foggy mind, and splashed some water, from a half empty bottle, on her face. It helped a little bit. She then carefully redid her make-up, and put on some fresh deodorant. Ready to go. Ready to find Boromir.  
  
***  
  
"Twelve!!" Fiora exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, and waving them around. Éomer burped, and began on his beer number twelve. Fiora grinned and began chanting, "Chug, chug, chug, chug." They were calmly, as friends, sitting in Fiora's dorm room. Trying to drink each other under the table. In a purely friendly way. 'Under the table' was figuratively speaking, since they actually were situated on the floor.  
  
Éomer lifted his head up to gulp the last beer, and when he looked at Fiora again, she wasn't sitting up. He smiled at his victory, as the girl began to snore slightly. Getting up, stumbling a few times, he lifted her to her bed. "I win," he smiled and walked out the door.  
  
Okay, so Éomer admitted to himself that he had a little to much. Twelve beers was just about the right amount you need to get seriously dizzy and kinda queasy. He stopped to breathe a second, then continued around the corner to his room.  
  
*Thump* Something soft, heavy, and pretty fast moving bumped into the not- so-sober Éomer, who promptly fell on his ass. He blinked up at the blurry figure, who had stopped and was leaning down to him. "Hey princess," he garbled at the womanly form. That was when his eyes slipped into focus.  
  
"Éomer."  
  
Éomer recognised the voice, the hair and the eyes as Gaelwyn. "Sorry, but my balance was under a lot of pressure." Gaelwyn didn't reply, she just helped him up. That was when he noticed the tears. "Hey, what's the matter??"  
  
Gaelwyn looked up at him (he was actually pretty tall, about a head higher then her), and then began sobbing. Unsure on how to handle the situation, Éomer did the thing he would've wanted her to do. He softly, and awkwardly, hugged her. Gaelwyn sniffled, and buried her head in Éomer's chest. The human debated on what to do, and settled on a not-so-bad alternative. "Come to my room, I have something to calm you down."  
  
Gaelwyn nodded and dried her nose in her sleeve, before trailing after Éomer. His dorm was one of the better. Gaelwyn dropped down on his bed and when he held out a glass, she drank it without questioning the content. And choked when the burning liquor went down her throat. Éomer grinned and slapped her back a few times, then rubbed it soothingly. Gaelwyn laughed slightly, then fell quiet. "Faramir, he..."  
  
Éomer placed a comforting arm around the elf, "What did he do??"  
  
Gaelwyn took a shaky breath, "He was kissing that, that..." She couldn't find a word that sounded evil enough. "Whore!!" She paused, "Your sister."  
  
Éomer began to see the big picture, "Oh." Gaelwyn started sobbing again, so Éomer decided to hug her again. After all, it helped before.  
  
"Is something wrong with me??"  
  
Éomer froze, he was not qualified for this sort of situation, usually hiding behind black humor was his way out. And now Gaelwyn was staring at him with those big, pretty, green, glassy eyes of hers.  
  
"Hey," Gaelwyn mused and tilted her head, that somehow had ended up really close to his, "You have brown eyes." Éomer nodded slowly. "I never noticed," Gaelwyn confessed softly. Not that the human heard Gaelwyn, Éomer was busy staring at her pink lips. They looked like they were moving closer, and before he knew it, his eyes were closing.  
  
Gaelwyn tasted like the drink Éomer had given her, and a little bit of mint. It was nice. Shit. He was kissing Gaelwyn. Gaelwyn, as in Faramir's girl and Gil-galad's daughter. And as far as he remembered, Faramir actually smelled a little like mint. That could mean that he wasn't actually tasting Gaelwyn, but Faramir. It wasn't helping the situation. And why the hell was Gaelwyn torturing him so sweetly with that clever tongue?? It had to be criminal.  
  
Gaelwyn refused to think. With her eyes closed, she could easily imagine that she was kissing Faramir. Both him and Éomer had light facial hair, typical young boy move. Trying to seem older. Gaelwyn began stroking the boy's hair softly, and pushed him back against the wall behind his bed. Oh God, what was she doing??  
  
Faramir could tell her that. He was standing in the open door watching the pair. Glorfindel had been kind enough to tell him that Gaelwyn had followed Éomer, and Faramir wished Glorfindel hadn't informed him that. He had heard the 'brown eyes' line, and paused outside the door. Hoping that it was his mind playing tricks on him or something. But no. Slowly opening the door, Faramir found his worst fear coming true. Gaelwyn was kissing Éomer urgently, pressing him against the wall. Faramir opened his mouth to speak, yell, cry, just do something, but no.  
  
Éomer's eyes darted to the door when he noticed light from the hallway. He froze, and firmly pushed Gaelwyn away, "Faramir!!"  
  
Gaelwyn frowned at the blond male for a few seconds, then followed his gaze. Faramir was standing in the door. At least for the next three seconds, before he turned on his heels and ran off. Gaelwyn slid off Éomer's lab with a whimper, "Fuck."  
  
"You can say that again," Éomer mused to himself, beginning to rub his temples.  
  
***  
  
Mîm had been looking behind various bushes for what seemed like hours, and still she couldn't find Gimli. Smoking with Rosie had helped a little, but she was nervous for her cousins' whereabouts. She had located Balin in his and Gimli's dorm, but he didn't know more then her. And now, she was aimlessly searching the Rehab. She had escaped from Sauron a few times ('I see you, I'll get you, you little... midget!!!'), and was honestly speaking, getting tired of looking for her lost cousin.  
  
"Gimli, where the hell are you?" she asked no one in particular.  
  
"He's chasing the dragon," came a slurred answer.  
  
Mîm stopped dead in her track, and went to the nearest huddle of trees. Both Fili and Kili were smoking something, grinning at her with dazed expressions. "What the hell do you mean??" It had to be an expression, because chasing after Smaug (the dragon for locating student who escaped) would probably be a really bad idea.  
  
Fili snorted, "Heroin."  
  
Kili began laughing loudly, "He didn't look good." With that the dwarf pointed in the general direction of the woods.  
  
Mîm bit her lip to keep from screaming all the curses she could think of, and walked into the trees. She found Gimli leaning against a tree, looking seriously ill. "I screwed up," he rasped upon seeing that Mîm had arrived.  
  
The redhead nodded with a grim look on her face, before helping her cousin up. "You sure did."  
  
***  
  
"Dreaming of Zion awake, sleeping awake..." Elrond hummed to himself, then paused and frowned. Why wouldn't that stupid song leave his head??  
  
The knock on his door was a welcome distraction, "Lord Elrond??" The door opened, revealing a young blond girl. Elf to be exact. With all the unnatural beauty that followed. Perfect forms, long leg, nice breast, slim waist, long wavy hair.  
  
"Yes??" Elrond tried to focus on the young Elf's face. Wow, those eyes were really blue. The dark kind. Elrond mentally kicked himself, he shouldn't be thinking like this. "Are you a new student??" It was fairly late for a new student, but she did seem like one.  
  
The girl nodded, then cleared her throat, "I'm Celebrían."  
  
"Last name??"  
  
"Nimras."  
  
Elrond arched a brow. Unicorn, what kind of last name was that? It fitted her though. "Your name sounds familiar," he said smoothly, and gestured for the girl to enter the office.  
  
She closed the door behind her, and sat down in the nearest chair. Elrond desperately tried not to look up her relatively short skirt. "I'm Lord Celeborn's niece." (A/N: I can totally change everything, this is AU)  
  
Elrond briefly wondered how Celeborn had reacted. "Do you have your papers with you??" She must've been an urgent shipment.  
  
Miss Celebrían received her files from her small hand-bag. Elrond scanned the paper, and had to fake a sneeze to hide his laughing.  
  
'Name: Celebrían Nimras  
  
Age: 2698  
  
Reason for transfer: Alcoholic  
  
Notes: None'  
  
How very common. Never in his career had Elrond seen anything so... simple. "Would you like a counsellor, Miss Nimras??"  
  
The blond Elf looked disgusted, "No."  
  
Elrond shrugged. Better let the nice beautiful (he needed to stop his line of thinking) alcoholic decide for herself. She was sure to screw up anyway. Then she'd stay longer. Maybe. Again, Elrond did some metal self-kicking.  
  
"Would you prefer a single room??"  
  
"No."  
  
Elrond's eyes flicked across the big list of rooms, "Good, we haven't got any left. Morie house?? With the oh-so-cheerful Fiora??"  
  
Celebrían shrugged and threw her hair over her shoulder, "Whatever."  
  
"Do you want to be here??" Elrond never thought to ask that before, usually the students never had a choice. But with this kick transfer, it might have been a voluntary visit.  
  
"Not really," Celebrían replied slowly, "But I think it'll help me."  
  
She got her papers, and went out the office. "I wouldn't count on it," Elrond muttered to himself, and went back to work. Work included getting ready for Monday. He was to teach a class. Theatre. Romeo and Juliet, the perfect play for the parents/teachers night the upcoming month.  
  
"Dreaming of Zion awake, sleeping awake..."  
  
***  
  
Haldir was in heaven. Nef's sharp tongue proved itself useful in other activities then talking. Which was really, really good. He was so close, when...  
  
A very loud knock on the door. Nef stopped her work. Haldir nearly screamed in frustration, "What!?"  
  
"It's me," came a thin voice from outside, "Faramir."  
  
Haldir glared at his girlfriend, "Your lovebirds need to work out their issues."  
  
Nef smirked sarcastically at the other Elf, threw a blanket over him, and went to open the door while Haldir pulled on his pants, "Faramir, what the matter??"  
  
Nef hadn't really felt nervous at first, but upon seeing Faramir's teary appearance, she mentally prepared to remove all sharp objects from their dorm. "Gaelwyn, she..." The Gondorian stopped his talking, and resumed his desperate weeping.  
  
Haldir rolled his eyes, while Nef pulled her roommate into the room, "What, Sweety??"  
  
Faramir swallowed heavily, and took a shaky breath, "When she came back, Éowyn was in my room. Kissing me."  
  
Nef got a wild look on her face, "What!?"  
  
"I couldn't stop her," Faramir claimed stubbornly. Nef noted for him to continue. "Then I went to look for her, and I found her in Éomer's dorm. She was kissing him Nefhuinëiel, kissing *him*!!" In the end of the sentence Faramir began to cry.  
  
Nef sighed, and thought for a moment, "You did kiss Éowyn."  
  
"I didn't mean to," Faramir whined.  
  
"But you did," Haldir said firmly, "And Gaelwyn seeking comfort after that is perfectly in her right."  
  
Nef glared at the other blond, before turning to Faramir again, "Now, you go find her again, apologise, and I bet she'll do the same. She was here before, she loves you." Nef liked the sound of that, it should work.  
  
Faramir sniffed and started to look a little more determined, "Okay."  
  
"That's the spirit," Nef encouraged her roomie, and smiled slightly when the human went out the door.  
  
Haldir broke her line of thinking, "Can we have sex now??"  
  
"If you wanna," Nef answered with a naughty blink. She was just crawling under the covers...  
  
Three sharp knocks. Followed by about six more.  
  
"This can't be happening," Haldir whimpered, as Nef yet agin went to open the door, revialing Éomer. He on the other hand, was looking very... confused.  
  
"I need help."  
  
Haldir groaned, "Don't we all."  
  
Nef ignored him, and followed Éomer out in the hallway, "Let me guess, you kissed Gaelwyn??"  
  
Éomer stared at her, "How on earth??"  
  
"Faramir was here ten seconds ago, crying like a baby," Nef responded, making sure to sound really nasty.  
  
"Gaelwyn kissed me." Éomer chose to defend himself.  
  
"I bet you didn't try and stop her," Nef sneered, "If Faramir goes to kill himself, it's you fault."  
  
Éomer was getting angry, "He kissed my sister."  
  
"So that makes it all okay!?"  
  
The blond human paused, "I feel weird."  
  
Nef narrowed her eyes at her friend, "Drunk??"  
  
"That too," Éomer mused, "But, I never felt like this before..."  
  
Nef's eyes widened and she clutched her scull, "Do not tell me you're falling for Gaelwyn."  
  
Éomer didn't say anything.  
  
***  
  
Melianwen found Isildur, Theodred (new one, he'd stabbed a teacher at his old school with a very sharp pen), Mablung and Boromir drinking obscene amounts of beer outside Mablung and Isildur's dorm. Actually, Boromir was the only one who was awake. "Boromir, I need to talk to you."  
  
His dazed eyes met Melianwen's for a second, "I don't think we need to talk."  
  
The dark human bit her lip, "I'm sorry."  
  
Boromir blinked, not sure that he heard her right, "You're sorry??"  
  
Melianwen nodded unmistakably, "Yes. I'm sorry I treated you badly."  
  
"I need to have some eyewitnesses," the Gondorian murmured, but didn't try waking his friends.  
  
Melianwen took a deep breath, "I didn't respect your feelings, I acted like a bitch and I'm sorry."  
  
Boromir stared at his lover for several seconds, "And??"  
  
"Can't you just be kissing me now??" she asked in a whisper.  
  
Boromir scrambled to his feet, and did as he was told.  
  
***  
  
"You got a little whipped cream on your nose," Aragorn remarked, and went to remove it from Legolas' nose. Legolas giggle slightly, and licked the substance off Aragorn's finger.  
  
"Would you two, please??" Figwit was sulking.  
  
"You should go seduce some easy Dain girl," Aragorn remarked, and shuddered as Legolas kissed a small bruise over his left eyes. A battle wound that still remained from the fight with Faramir.  
  
"I don't wanna," Figwit grumbled, and poked his pancakes. There was a loud crash, and Glorfindel came out from the kitchens carrying a tray with ice cream. The four of them had broken into the cafeteria, and found it a good place to relax really. Food and relative privacy.  
  
"I want the ice cream, "Legolas cheered, darting for the container. Glorfindel easily avoided the hyper Elf, and put the tray on the table. Figwit smirked as Legolas emerged from the chairs he had gracefully fallen into. "Pricks." He walked back and sat on Aragorn's lap with a pout on his face.  
  
***  
  
"Mission accomplished," Éowyn said cheerfully, walking into her and Arwen's room with a satisfied grin on her face.  
  
Arwen arched an eyebrow, and looked disturbingly enough like her farther, "Really??"  
  
Éowyn clapped her hands together, smiling brightly, "Not only did I kiss him, the Gaelwyn bitch walked in on us."  
  
"Wow, that's good," Arwen admitted.  
  
"You bet," Éowyn smirked, not even knowing how much she managed to screw up Faramir and Gaelwyn.  
  
***  
  
Haldir slumbered happily into the covers, "That was great."  
  
Nef 'hmm'ed her consent.  
  
"I love you."  
  
The she-Elf took a deep breath and smiled, "I love you too." She snuggled to Haldir's chest, "Do you think Gaelwyn and Faramir will be okay??"  
  
Haldir shrugged, "If they are meant to be."  
  
"That's sweet of you to say," Nef muttered, and fell asleep. Haldir turned off the lights and sighed deeply. Life sure was good sometimes.  
  
***  
  
Idril stared at her smoking shoes.  
  
"Piece of cake, you said??"  
  
Idril glared at her roomie, and continued to be fascinated about the blue shocks of electricity that came out of her fingers.  
  
***  
  
A/N: The End. Stay tuned for next instalment. Now, I have Danish exams, so I need to go. Bye!!! 


	19. The One Where Some Other Stuff Happens

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: No, the dear LoTR characters aren't mine. And I promise I'll put them back where I found them, when I'm done playing that is. The OC who isn't created by me, belongs to those who created them.  
  
A/N: Matrix Reloaded has changed my life. I'm now an official Smith-Fan. And Neo has a really nice ass... Anyway... Here's another chapter. Keep the nice reviews coming. By the way, I got an A for my final Danish exam. And A+(!!!) in English. *Smiles Broadly* I cried so many happy-tears, you wouldn't believe it. B+ in Math, B in Chemistry and German. That's something to be proud of, If you ask me.  
  
Now Lily's got an idea about how this Gaelwyn/Éomer/Faramir thing is gonna play out. But you lot will have to wait an see...  
  
***  
  
Fiora blinked her eyes open, ignoring her brain-splitting migraine, and listened carefully. Yep, someone was knocking on her door. "Fiora, open up."  
  
Fiora shook her head to clear her thoughts, and got up slowly, "Hold on Celebrían." Her new roommate. Fiora didn't have any specific emotions yet, Celebrían could be broken down to smart, evil, sexy, and she flirted with everything that walked and talked. Fiora also suspected she was kind of gay or at least bisexual.  
  
Normally, you couldn't lock your door, but a few flirtatious looks, from Celebrían, in Wormtongue's direction, had done the trick. Fiora pulled the key, dangling in a chain around her neck, out and unlocked the door. "It's almost eight, Fiora," Celebrían informed the sleepy redhead, but Fiora only scratched her head lazily.  
  
Celebrían rolled her eyes and strolled into the room, "I signed up for Theatre this afternoon. Are you taking it??"  
  
Fiora frowned slightly, "I don't recall." A pause in which Celebrían looked for her left shoe (she already had the right one on). "I think," Fiora decided with a nod, "Have you seen my T-shirt??"  
  
Celebrían shrugged, "Which one??"  
  
"The one that says; Alien Sex Friend."  
  
Celebrían scanned the floor, locating the shirt in question. Halfway under the rug, for some unknown reason. Fiora took it without commenting, picking out a pair of baggy jeans to go with it. Celebrían dressed in a catholic schoolgirl outfit. Go figure.  
  
***  
  
Gaelwyn was nervously shifting from foot to foot, standing outside Faramir and Nef's dorm. She checked her watch for the fifteenth time; 7.59. "Come on out Faramir," the Elf muttered urgently, and reassumed the foot-to-foot (now) jumping.  
  
The door opened, and Faramir strolled out, Nef right behind him. As soon as the human noticed Gaelwyn a hurt expression appeared on his face. "Not yet, Gaelwyn." Faramir continued walking towards the Chemistry class.  
  
Gaelwyn was just about to respond, when Nef stopped, turned around and sent her a hard look. Gaelwyn closed her mouth and gazed longingly after Faramir, who continued walking, apparently content with Nef handling Gaelwyn for the time being. "Not yet, Gaelwyn." Nef said her name in a curtain tone, and it somehow made it sound extremely blaming. Gaelwyn only knew one other person who could do that; her father.  
  
"But, how am I gonna apologise if I can't speak with him?" the dark Elf whined, choosing to show her pain instead of her current anger against her friend.  
  
Nef made a growling sound deep in her throat, "Give him time. He's not ready to forgive you."  
  
"What about me forgiving him?!" Gaelwyn spat, not being able to contain her anger.  
  
Nef's eyes flicked briefly, "I don't wanna fight with you," she replied shortly, but with a sad hint in her voice. Gaelwyn sighed and let her tense shoulder's drop down in a more relaxed posture. "He didn't kiss Éowyn on propose, you kissing Éomer was deliberate," Nef reminded her sad friend.  
  
Gaelwyn remained quiet. Nef slipped an arm around her shoulder, and the two of them walked in direction of the classroom.  
  
"Boy, are they fucked up," Figwit said, more to himself then to Haldir, standing beside him.  
  
Haldir nodded his consent, "Yep."  
  
Right that moment Lainauriel and Idril passed the males, both wearing tight leather pants and leaving a reek of alcohol and pot behind them. "Maybe not that fucked up," Figwit decided.  
  
Haldir shook his head for a change.  
  
***  
  
Pearl sighed happily, and snuggled into the covers. She had successfully called sick from class. The early morning wooziness helped supporting her little scam. It's so much easier to look sick, when you actually are sick. So here she was, in bed, snoozing in her comfiest pyjamas.  
  
Some ignorant person shattered the image, knocking sharply on the door. "Speak friend and enter," Pearl said coldly.  
  
"Mellon," a voice replied evenly. Pearl paused, trying to recognise it. "Hi, Miss Hornblower." Oh yes, that one. Frodo Baggins' pretty (and I might add smiling and polite) face appeared in the door opening. The rest of the young schizophrenic soon followed.  
  
"Mr. Baggins." Pearl responded in the same casual tone. If he'd been any other (straight) person, Pearl would have most likely kicked the hobbit lad out, but what harm could a little gay hobbit do?? "Sam's at class."  
  
"I wasn't looking for Sam," Frodo confessed, "I wanted to have a chat with you."  
  
Pearl was confused, more then usual, "About what??"  
  
"Well, Sam really," Frodo said with a grin. "I need to know some stuff."  
  
Pearl sat up in her bed, and noted for Frodo to sit down, "What stuff??"  
  
Frodo shrugged, "Like, why is he in this hell-house??"  
  
"He's gay," Pearl answered shortly, and sent Frodo a sappy smile, "But I guess you've figured that out."  
  
Frodo laughed shortly, then regained his common sense, "What's his favourite food??"  
  
"Chocolate cake." Pearl seemed mightily sure regarding her answer.  
  
"Gotcha," Frodo smiled, and got up, "Would you tell him to meet me tonight in my dorm."  
  
Pearl arched an eyebrow, "I smell kinky food-sex."  
  
"Naughty, little girl," Frodo teased and exited. Pearl snuggle back in her bed, a wicked smile on her lips.  
  
***  
  
Boromir gave Melianwen a suspicious look. How very fortunate that she dropped her Chemistry books right outside the class-room. And that she then winked, and asked him if he'd give her a hand.  
  
"Alone at last," the young human grinned with a naughty tone.  
  
Boromir considered his options; A) Jump her bones, or B) Leave. A) seemed like the nicer of the two, "What shall we do??"  
  
Melianwen shrugged innocently, "The classroom is empty..."  
  
Boromir wordlessly kicked Melianwen's bag of books inside the abandoned room, then picked her up, carried her in and closed the door behind them.  
  
***  
  
"Detention Miss Boffin, Bombadil at eight." Even though Brook was gasping and swearing, Gandalf didn't sound the least satisfied with the punishment. He only continued handing out papers with a sullen expression.  
  
"What's with him??"  
  
Merry regarded Brook out of the corner of his eye, "Maybe he's sick," the hobbit suggested.  
  
Brook frowned softly, "Sick??"  
  
"Let's hope so," Pippin chipped cheerfully.  
  
Brook's face became momentarily evasive, then began smiling, "We should ask around."  
  
"How exactly??" Merry asked interested.  
  
"I've found connections," Brook said proudly. At the boy's blank looks, Brook explained, "I've been sucking up to Professor Baggins, hoping for good grades, maybe I can get him to tell us."  
  
"Dream on," Pippin smirked, "The Teacher's are very picky when it comes to favourite students."  
  
Brook sent him a dirty look, "You just wait an see."  
  
***  
  
Nef was picking a Math book up from under her bed, when the door banged open. Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Figwit soon entered, making the dorm pretty crowded. Nef sent them several funny looks, "What can I do for you??"  
  
Aragorn answered, "Give us the whole Gaelwyn-Faramir story. Haldir wouldn't."  
  
Nef looked like she thought about it, then made a short sarcastic smile, "No."  
  
Figwit tried making puppy-eyes, "Puuuh-lease!!"  
  
"Not bloody likely, the whole school isn't gonna hear it." Nef crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.  
  
"They already know something is up," Elladan reminded her.  
  
Elrohir finished his brother's sentence, "Faramir and Gaelwyn usually hang on each other, like you and Haldir."  
  
Nef growled softly, but decided to get the group out of her hair, "Gaelwyn and Faramir had a small fight. While Gaelwyn was gone, Éowyn attacked Faramir, kissing him. Gaelwyn came back and saw them, running off. She bumped into Éomer and when Faramir found them, they were kissing." Nef eyed the group of males, who all were gasping and/or rolling their eyes. "I removed all sharp objects," Nef added.  
  
"Good idea," Aragorn muttered, nodding slightly.  
  
Nef sighed and shooed the guys out her dorm. After all, Elvin Poetry was up, and she couldn't wait.  
  
***  
  
"Rosie, can we talk a sec??"  
  
Rosie nodded her content, and sat down on her bed, facing the serious- looking Mîm. "What is it??"  
  
"Gimli's on Heroin," the dwarf confessed with a sad look on her face.  
  
"What' you gonna do, send him to a rehab??" The Hobbit's joke only made Mîm scowl. Rosie sighed, "I have no idea, I never been beyond weed."  
  
Mîm sighed in a yielding manner, "I'm screwed."  
  
"Gimli's screwed," Rosie corrected, and continued off Mîm's dirty looks, "Oh, go tell someone, they'll help."  
  
"Who, Wormtongue??" Mîm asked sarcastically.  
  
Rosie shrugged, "You could try..."  
  
***  
  
"Professor Baggins??"  
  
Dear old Bilbo lifted his eyes to meet those of Brook Boffin. She smiled a sickly cute smile, "I was wondering if Professor Gandalf was sick."  
  
"We're concerned about his well-being," Peregrin Took added quickly. Somehow he managed to smile even sweeter.  
  
Bilbo paused, regarding the two youngsters (he could see Meriadoc Brandybuck peeking from outside the classroom door). "You are quite right about the dear old Professor." Bilbo decided to play along. After all, Miss Boffin had been sucking up lately. Even more then Miss Undomiel. "Principal Elrond mentioned that a flu is about to spread." Bilbo sneered slightly, "Professor Galadriel saw it in her mirror. 'Surprises me she stopped admiring herself long enough to make a prediction."  
  
Pippin looked utterly confused, but Brook only made a sympathetic look, "We feel with you, Mr. Baggins." With that, they went out the classroom.  
  
"What was that about??" Merry asked. He had obliviously been eavesdropping.  
  
"Professor Baggins originally wanted to be the History Teacher, but Professor Galadriel made it very clear that Professor Baggins wasn't good enough for that job." Brook explained with a proud look, "He's been cranky at her ever since."  
  
Pippin changed the topic, "So, Gandalf has the flu?? I'd think Wizards knew some stuff to remove flu's."  
  
"It's an evil flu," Merry crackled.  
  
Brook sent him an adoring glance, and giggled, "Maybe Saruman made it by accident." The group laughed cheerfully while strolling down the hallway. They didn't know, that in fact, the flu that was about to spread was a minor side-effect of looking at Saruman's newest artwork...  
  
***  
  
"All right student, welcome to Elvin Poetry."  
  
Nef lifted her head, and stared open mouthed at the newly arrived teacher. An Elf. A hot Elf. "Earth to Nefhuinëiel," Haldir sang softly beside her.  
  
Nef snapped out of her daze, "Yes??"  
  
Haldir was looking hurt. Nef reassuringly kissed the tip of his nose.  
  
"I'm your Professor, you may call me Erestor," the Elf said smoothly, and flipped some of his black hair over his shoulder. "Hopefully, you'll find these classes more enjoyable then those you have with professor Bombadil."  
  
Restrained laugher throughout the classroom. This seemed like a wise choice of subject.  
  
***  
  
Gaelwyn looked around the room, from her position at the foot of the stage. Considering she never knew they had a stage, it was pretty damn big... She blinked as the door opened, and Nef entered with Haldir, Figwit, Legolas and Aragorn. Nef greeted her with a wave, "Howdy."  
  
The boys followed suit with restrained 'hello's. Gaelwyn sent Nef a questioning look, but the blond made a 'wait' gesture.  
  
The door opened again. In came Éomer, Fiora, Éowyn, Arwen, Idril, Glorfindel and Lainauriel. Nef arched an eyebrow. Did this many people really sign up?? The next time the door opened, Faramir, Boromir and Melianwen. Faramir avoided both Éomer and Gaelwyn, standing himself next to Legolas and Aragorn. Nef sent Gaelwyn a look, before she could act out on her current urges. Rúmil, Celebrían and Orophin slipped in silently. Okay, everything above five feet tall.  
  
The entire group was chatting around, when what seemed to be their teacher arrived. Simultaneously all students became quiet. Principal Elrond. He walked calmly up on the stage, with a satisfied smirk, and cleared his throat, "Welcome to Theatre. I'm your Professor for this class."  
  
No reaction. Somewhere in the school you could hear a scream. And the torture chamber was soundproof. It was *that* silent!!  
  
Elrond seemed extremely happy that he invoked such a reaction. "Sit down on the first rows." The students were still to surprised to do anything besides doing what they were told.  
  
"The main goal for this class," Elrond dumped a heavy bundle of scripts on The stage edge, "Is a play."  
  
"Surprising," Legolas muttered.  
  
But not low enough, "Greenleaf, Sauron tomorrow evening," Elrond remarked evenly. Legolas groaned, and Elrond continued with a more evil smile then before, "To perform at Parents/Teachers Night."  
  
A few pair of eyes widened, some gulped, and some just closed their eyes tightly. Elrond dropped the bomb, "Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet."  
  
There was some gasping, some muttering about 'crazy' and/or 'stupid', and again closing of eyes, tightly.  
  
Elrond enjoyed the situation more and more, when he pulled out his ace, "And I already decided on who gets which part."  
  
AN: Cliffhanger!! Sorry it's so short, but I' going to Paris in the morning, so going to bed seems like a good idea. 


	20. The One GoingThrough Sickness, Spiders, ...

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: Ya da, ya da, ya da. You know the drill. LoTR characters, places and events belongs to Tolkien's heirs and New Line. OC character belong to those who created them. I'm one of those ^.^  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so late, but I've had a huge writer block. I just couldn't come up with anything at all. When I did, my mom had to use the dear computer. Then I got sick. But here it is, at last.  
  
***  
  
"This smells like conspiracy," Nef remarked, looking over the cast list and Haldir nodded sharply.  
  
Romeo: Faramir son of Denethor  
  
Juliet: Gaelwyn Tathariel  
  
Paris: Éomer son of Éomund  
  
"But I like this part," Haldir grinned, pointing at the list.  
  
Nef sent him a sappy smile, "We're practically married now."  
  
"I'm Montague," Boromir said, somewhat proudly.  
  
Melianwen was smiling sweety at him, "And I'm Lady Montague."  
  
Gaelwyn swallowed a few time, trying to make the lump in her throat go away. Elrond, who was looking painfully smug, met her eyes for a second. He smiled wickedly.  
  
Éowyn was gritting her teeth, and Arwen was sulking.  
  
Faramir on the other hand remained calm and collected. In the biting bottom lip 'till it nearly bleeds kind of way.  
  
Aragorn seemed like he was satisfied, Legolas was smirking, while Figwit sulked violently. "Friar... Who is he kidding??" Rúmil nodded in agreement.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir tried to hide their laughter, "Well, you have been the monk-y types lately." Figwit gave them a dirty look, as did Rúmil.  
  
"As you can see, there's a few..." Elrond paused, "Glitches. Some of you might have a part of the opposite sex, since Shakespeare didn't write all to many women." Arwen glared at her father, but he ignored her. Fiora didn't seem the least disappointed. (Éomer muttered something in the lines of: "Fiora with a gun... Why am I scared?") "And a few people who signed up aren't here. They'll get detention."  
  
Nef frowned in confusion. "Isildur, Mablung and Theodred had to sign up for something," Boromir explained in a low voice, trying to avoid a detention. "But they're out sniffing deodorant in the bushes."  
  
"And you know, because...??" Nef asked with a smile.  
  
"It's my deodorant," Boromir replied, and looked smug while Nef tried to calm her giggles.  
  
A/N: Here we go folks, read and weep... On the other hand, don't do that.  
  
Escalus, Prince of Verona: Aragorn  
  
Paris, a young count, kinsman to the Prince: Éomer  
  
Montague: Boromir  
  
Capulet: Haldir  
  
Romeo, son to Montague: Faramir  
  
Mercutio, kinsman to the Prince and friend to Romeo: Mablung  
  
Benvolio, nephew to Montague and friend to Romeo: Isildur  
  
Tybalt, nephew to Lady Capulet: Legolas  
  
Friar Lawrence: Figwit  
  
Friar John: Rúmil  
  
Balthasar, servant to Romeo : Glorfindel  
  
Sampson, servant to Romeo: Theodred  
  
Gregory, servant to Romeo: Idril  
  
Peter, servant to Juliet's Nurse (eat irony): Arwen  
  
Abram, servant to Montague: Orophin  
  
An Officer: Fiora  
  
Lady Montague: Melianwen  
  
Lady Capulet: Nefhuinëiel  
  
Juliet, daughter to Capulet: Gaelwyn  
  
Nurse to Juliet: Éowyn  
  
Citizens of Verona: Arwen, Celebrían, Lainauriel (and maybe some hobbits.)  
  
The final line made several student make gagging sounds. "Detention to all of you," Elrond said dryly. But when he turned around to hand out the scripts, Gaelwyn noticed that the dear principal was smiling evilly. Celebrían gave him a suggestive look when he passed her a script.  
  
There was a knock on the door to the left, and Professor Gandalf appeared, "Don't forget the meeting concerning Christmas."  
  
Elrond froze. A few student exchanged looks. This seemed good.  
  
***  
  
Wednesday morning.  
  
Pearl groaned and pulled her head back inside her window. Luckily she'd puked into the bushes. She'd seen someone at a party, who'd hit the wall. Not nice to clean up. The pregnant hobbit swayed for a few seconds, then picked up a half empty water bottle. She drank a few gulps before sitting down on her bed. Sam hadn't been back that night. She knew perfectly well why.  
  
The door opened, and in came a practically glowing Samwise. "Good morning, Pea-..." His cheerful tone vanished upon seeing the pale lass, "What's wrong?"  
  
"I didn't even have time to reach the toilet," Pearl smiled sadly. "Hopefully no one was smoking in that bush."  
  
Sam sat down next to her, rubbing her back soothingly. "Should I get Peregrin??"  
  
"You can go kick him," Pearl suggested sullenly. Sam laughed shortly, squeezing her shoulder. Pearl turned to look at him with innocent look, "You have a little chocolate on your neck," she remarked with a smile.  
  
Sam stuttered nonsense several second, while he blushed scarlet. Pearl smirked, and took another sip of her water. Sam took the opportunity to change the subject, "You coming to class?"  
  
Pearl whined loudly, and searched through the stack of books bellow her bed. "I can't find my book..." There was a pause, in which Sam raised his eyebrows, "What book am I looking for??" Pearl asked in the same whining tone.  
  
"Math," Sam answered in a polite manner. Pearl snorted a loud objection. "You'll have to go, unless you wanna raise suspicion."  
  
"Why are you always right??"  
  
A shrug, "I was born that way."  
  
***  
  
Melianwen tilted her head to the right, then the left. Still nothing, "I can't see what it is."  
  
The object in question was a fairly large painting of Saruman's , hanging near the entrance of the center.  
  
The human girl leaned a little bit closer, narrowing her deep blue eyes. A pair of strong hands pulled her back, "Saruman made it," Boromir warned. "You never know what's in it."  
  
"Wha'??"  
  
Isildur, who still complained that his lips felt like they were shaking (deodorant side effect), nodded sharply, "Last year, an Orc jumped out from one of his creations," he insisted.  
  
Melianwen took a step back, "Oh."  
  
The little group was only rounding the corner on the way to their room, when Melianwen sneezed loudly.  
  
***  
  
"It's a setup against me," Lord Elrond decided, loudly. Mostly to make sure everybody in the teacher's lounge heard him. "They just send all the kids they can't handle." He threw himself in an armchair. Several teacher's took several steps back. The hopelessness might turn into anger, with Elrond you never knew. "It's not a rehab, it's freak show of crazy young individuals."  
  
It was as silent as the night Saruman, mightily drunk, had revealed he liked wearing women's underwear.  
  
"What happened??" Théoden questioned Celeborn.  
  
"Gandalf reminded him that Christmas was coming," the blond Elf lord answered.  
  
Elrond turned his head in their direction, "Teachers/Parents night is good enough," he said with a slight smile, "You get to tell the dear parent that their brats are totally useless." A slight crackle. But then he fell back into depressed-mode again. "That bloody dance."  
  
All teachers nodded. Yule Ball, you might call it. On the 23th of December, there was the annual ball. The only real, permitted, party of the year.  
  
"Sex around every corner," Galadriel sighed.  
  
"People spiking the punch," Gandalf added.  
  
"And the eggnog," Treebeard reminded them all.  
  
Wormtongue did stay quiet, "Drugs."  
  
"Obscene clothing," Saruman said, while rolling his eyes.  
  
"Enough!!" Elrond sneered.  
  
Saruman looked insulted, and left the room. A bit of his rainbow colored robe stuck in the door, and was pulled out seconds later.  
  
***  
  
"Miss Anìron!!"  
  
Nef looked up from the doodle she was doing on Haldir's arm, to find her History teacher looming over them. "Whazzap??"  
  
Galadriel grew paler then usual, and she gritted her teeth. "If you can tell me on which date Hitler died, you wont get detention with Professor Bombadil!!" she said in a dangerous voice. She then smacked Nef's book shut.  
  
Nef opened and closed her mouth a few times, her eyes flashing around, desperately trying to see someone in the classroom who could tell her the answer. She could see Legolas quickly writing something down, and pretended to think about it, buying some time, "The date he died??" she asked sweetly.  
  
Galadriel nodded sharply.  
  
Legolas held up her piece of paper, then crumbled it into a ball and threw it out the open window. "April 30, 1945," Nef said professionally.  
  
Galadriel looked suspicious, and as suspected she checked all the other students' desks' on her way back to the blackboard, "Correct," she sighed, obviously annoyed that Nef had tricked her.  
  
Haldir leaned in, "You're lucky you have so many good friends."  
  
"I know," Nef smiled and gave him a quick kiss.  
  
***  
  
"Mr. Wormtongue??"  
  
Said counselor lifted his head, then appeared disappointed, "Yes, Miss Saphirelaughter??"  
  
'Greasy git', Mîm thought, but closed the door behind her, "I want your advise, as a counselor."  
  
Wormtongue frowned. "On what??"  
  
Mîm took a calming breath and sat down, "If a person I knew was taking heroin, what could you do about it??"  
  
"Nothing, really," Wormtongue answered, and sighed in a very 'you-bore-me'- way.  
  
"What?!?"  
  
Wormtongue leaned over his desk with a blank expression, "Ever hear of the term 'free will'??"  
  
Mîm's face contracted in disgust, "You're the counselor in a rehab!!"  
  
The dark haired snake-tongue (Tee Hee) rolled his eyes, "How many have you met in the institution, who actually have rehabilitated??"  
  
A pause, in which Mîm tried to remember all the people she knew. Nope, no one had ever improved. Gimli had been there for several months. "None," she sighed in defeat.  
  
"Who is it??" Wormtongue asked with a look of innocent curiosity.  
  
Mîm snorted, "Keep dreaming."  
  
"Fine." The counselor didn't seem all to concerned, "Would that be all??"  
  
Mîm exited the office, growling insults under her breath.  
  
***  
  
Professor Radagast the Brown looked over the class. Mellon students, all eyeing the giant box on his desk nervously. A thin blanket was spread over it. "Today, we will be studying a real animal," he began.  
  
Brook smiled slightly, and straightened in her seat. Pippin rolled his eyes, "She loves animals," he informed Pearl. The sandy haired hobbit lass had been feeling down all morning, but she was starting to look better by the second.  
  
"A Mirkwood spider," Radagast announced proudly and pulled the large black spider from the box, its legs flopping wildly.  
  
Diamond of Longcleeve, who was sitting at the front desk, screeched and feel off her chair. Other females in the classroom reacted almost the same way. Except for Brook Boffin, who was staring at the giant spider with an adoring look on her face.  
  
***  
  
Faramir stared blankly into the surface of Gaelwyn's door, silently debating whether to enter or not. If he thought the situation over rationally (he didn't like to do that, but sometimes it was necessary) he was just as bad as Gaelwyn. Not completely, but close. And she was very sorry. Faramir groaned and chewed on his bottom lip. Stupid rehab, if only he had some sort of sign.  
  
Right on cue, Nef rounded the nearest corner, holding a giant bunch of red roses. She was smiling and reading the card attached, but stopped dead upon seeing Faramir. "You're gonna...??" she asked, pointing at the door with the pink card.  
  
Faramir nodded, looking grim, "I think so." He sighed loudly, and rubbed his face with his right hand. "Nice flowers," he added.  
  
Nef smiled so widely, you could practically see all of her teeth, "They're from Haldir."  
  
"I guessed."  
  
When Faramir then continued to stare blankly at Gaelwyn's door, Nef seemed to grow bored, "Look, do you want to be with her again??"  
  
"We've only been apart for a day," Faramir reminded her.  
  
Nef smiled, "And you already miss her." 'How cute' was left hanging in the air, but Nef's facial expression said it clear enough.  
  
Faramir sighed again, "Yeah," he admitted.  
  
"Then go in there." Nef urged him forward with a firm push. She paused then shoved all the red roses into his arms, "Give her these."  
  
"They're yours, Haldir will be disappointed," Faramir insisted.  
  
"To late," Nef chipped happily. With that she knocked on Gaelwyn's door, and sprinted in direction of Morie's dorms. She stopped around the first corner, and peeked back. Gaelwyn was taking the flowers, and letting Faramir into her room. Nef made a contained 'Yes!!', before strolling satisfied in direction of Haldir and Figwit's dorm.  
  
***  
  
Pearl was staring thoughtfully at her stomach, "When do you think it'll show??"  
  
Pippin, sitting on her left, holding her hand, shrugged, "Some months probably, what do you reckon, Sam??"  
  
Sam didn't look up from his Latin grammar, "It'll show in about four months," he replied, "I have sister's," he added as an explanation.  
  
"What'll I do then??" Both males was clearly not prepared to answer that question. Pearl sighed sadly, "I guess I'll get kicked home. Without you," she added and glanced over at Pippin. "I'm gonna be a single mom."  
  
Pippin gave her a reassuring look, "Trust me, I'll be kicked out before that happens."  
  
Pearl smiled sappily, and gave him a kiss. Sam grinned, "How cute."  
  
"Oh, go shag Frodo!"  
  
***  
  
Gimli twirled around as the door shut. Mîm stood in front of it, a stern look on her face. "Okay, this is it."  
  
"This is what??" Gimli grumbled.  
  
"My strategy," Mîm explained calmly, "I'm not letting you out before you're clean."  
  
After a few seconds of silence, Gimli rolled his eyes, "I am clean!!"  
  
Mîm snorted, "We'll se about that." She pulled out Balin's chair and sat down, guarding the door. "I've seen this work in 'Basketball Diaries'."  
  
Gimli chuckled, "And case you haven't noticed, you're no Morgan Freeman."  
  
"And you are certainly no Leonardo DiCaprio," Mîm retorted. "I'm not letting you out."  
  
"Fine." Gimli sat calmly on the floor, and stared into thin air. His cousin roller her eyes, but then picked up a book and started reading about The Reformation.  
  
***  
  
"*Sneeze* You should stay *Sneeze* away from me *Sniff*," Melianwen choked out, all sounds included. She wiped her nose, and made a sad gurgling sound.  
  
Boromir placed a hand on her forehead, "You're burning up," he informed her. "Told you not to get so close to anything Saruman made.  
  
Melianwen gave him the finger. Somehow it's less intimidating when you're sitting in bed, covered in blankets, nose running, constantly sneezing, fever flushed and not being able to breathe.  
  
Door opened, and Legolas entered with Aragorn in tow. Boromir nodded coldly at Aragorn, who made the same gesture. They weren't killing each other anymore, but they were certainly not friends. Legolas sent Melianwen a questioning look, "What's with you??"  
  
"I'm sick," she female snapped.  
  
"Saruman's new painting is having an amusing effect," Boromir supplied.  
  
Legolas made a mental note to avoid the whole area surrounding the painting. "At least you don't dalk funny det," he joked. Melianwen coughed in his general direction.  
  
***  
  
Boredom and a need for non-Pippin-y company (rhythms, hihi), had driven Meriadoc Brandybuck to Brooks' room. After all, Brook was real good company. Walking in without knocking, Merry started out with a cheerful; "Hey Brook, how are you..." He stopped dead in his sentence, when seeing Brook jump up and push something under her bed, "I'll change that question to 'What' are you doing??"  
  
"Nothing," Brook chipped, and kicked whatever that something was.  
  
Merry eyed her nervously, "Brook..."  
  
A lot of things happened in the following seconds. Merry edged closer to the redhead, and bent down to look under the bed. A big furry ball with eight legs jumped out from there, sending Merry scrambling backwards. After a scream (so high-pinched it had to be described as 'girly'), Merry had gotten himself on top of Brooks bed, "What is that!?!" he screeched fanatically.  
  
Brook put on a sweet face, and picked the animal up. "His name is Bert. I named him." She struggled bravely to keep the thing from escaping, all the eight legs flapping in different directions.  
  
"It's...it's... The Mirkwood spider!!" Merry still talked uncharacteristically loud.  
  
"Bert, hungry," the giant spider hissed.  
  
A look of sheer horror crossed Merrys face, "Brook, it wants to eat me!!"  
  
Brook rolled her eyes, and patted the spider, "That box was way to small for you, wasn't it Bert??" The spider nodded it's head (or body?). Brook held onto him with a single arm, receiving some beacon from the tiny refrigerator. Merry squeaked when she let go of Bert, but he seemed to have lost interest in everything but the newly given beacon.  
  
"Brook..." Merry hissed, somehow trying to back 'through' the wall, "It'll eat you!!"  
  
Brook rolled her eyes again, "Not if I feed him, will you Bert??" The spider shook his head (body?), and swallowed the last piece of beacon. "See??" Brook smiled broadly.  
  
"You take the word of a spider?!?" Merry asked, a desperate tone still in his voice.  
  
Brook nodded, and patted Bert's head. He seemed to purr, and wrapped four legs around Brooks' right knee. Merry blinked. "Isn't he cute??" Merry shook his head no. Bert glared at him with eight angry eyes. Brook distracted him with another slice of beacon.  
  
"You're keeping him??" The question was delivered in a very small voice.  
  
Bert sent Brook something resembling a puppy-dog-look. Eight puppy-eyes; Brook smiled at the spider, "Of course."  
  
There was a fairly large thud when Merry's newly-fainted form hit the floor. Bert inched closer and sniffed his hand, "Eat??"  
  
Brook shook her head firmly, "No Bert, you can't eat Merry." She dragged her unconscious friend over to her bed, and dropped him down. "You don't eat people I like." Brook smiled slightly, and gave Merry a kiss on the forehead. "Come on Bert, let's go find you some more beacon." The spider crackled and followed her, like a dog. With eight legs...  
  
(Hope you liked that Dee)  
  
***  
  
Gaelwyn sat down on her bed, clutching her newly gifted roses. "Thank you," she muttered.  
  
Faramir remained standing, but smiled slightly, "No problem."  
  
Gaelwyn shifted in her seat. Faramir Drew his foot around on the carpet, in no particular pattern. "You wanted to talk??" Gaelwyn whispered shakily.  
  
Faramir looked up fro the floor, and sighed, "I don't know what I want to say."  
  
"I'm sorry," Gaelwyn blurted out loudly.  
  
"Me too." Faramir paused, then fell to his knee. Gaelwyn frowned. The Gondorian smiled, "He jests at scars that never felt a wound. But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." Gaelwyn laughed cheerfully, but Faramir hushed her with a finger. "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon (Uh, that'd be Éowyn...), Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green."  
  
"Faramir, stop it," Gaelwyn grinned, but Faramir only shook his head and took her hand.  
  
"I'm not finished Milady," he teased, and continued in a dramatic voice, "And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it."  
  
Gaelwyn giggled, realizing she hadn't done that for over 24 hours, "Faramir, do you even understand what you're saying??"  
  
"Not really, and yet every word." Faramir cleared his throat again, "I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes. To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head?" He paused and softly stroked Gaelwyns' cheek, planting a soft kiss on her brow, "Here comes my favorite part; The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"  
  
Gaelwyn sighed and leaned down to his eyelevel, "Done, sweet Romeo."  
  
Faramir smiled, "Done."  
  
***  
  
"Hi," Nef greeted her boyfriend, giving him a short kiss, "Thanks for the flowers."  
  
Haldir frowned, "Where are they?"  
  
"Oh, I gave them to Faramir."  
  
Haldir raised an eyebrow, "Gave them to Faramir??"  
  
"So he could give them to Gaelwyn, I think they're making up this second." Nef smiled and crawled in Haldir's lap. "I'll give you compensation??"  
  
Haldir smiled evilly, "Well, I am very hurt you gave them away," he said in a fake voice of sadness.  
  
***  
  
A/N: I'm now 16. I'm now in High School. And even though, I'll try to update more, I promise. It's just that I've really been short of inspiration lately. But with all those new classes and school mates of mine... I'll have this story back in business in a second. Our Biology assignment for Monday is "My Life as a Carrot." Enough said. 


	21. The One With Boredom and Useless Babble

The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith  
  
By Aiwendil Greenleaf  
  
Disclaimer: All Tolkien characters belong to Tolkien (*gasp* who would've thought??), and the OC created by others then me, belongs to those who created them.  
  
A/N: At least it's a little quicker then last time. Okay, I wanna cry on your shoulders for a bit. I get up at six, get ready, take my bike, then the train and then a bus to my High School. I was home at four today. And then there's homework. I have no time to eat, or read any fan fiction for the matter. And I'm so tired all the time. WHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!!!!... I feel better now.  
  
Beta: Steff   
  
WARNING: This chapter will contain loads of suck-y Pirates of the Caribbean jokes (I found a transcript, the movie doesn't come out 'till the 12th of September here, crap-country). You have been warned.  
  
Reviews:  
  
Kate: I'm so using that idea!! It's great, but you'll have to wait for spring. In the story I mean. Mating seasons tend to be in the spring. Thanks for the great idea!!  
  
Lily: ... Really no need to answer here also, is there??  
  
offspring-the-kids-aint-a: Okay, people get murdered around your ears?? Creepy. OH, it makes me so happy when people say they love Nef'n'Haldir. Something I made, yay. And if you hold a secret, Merry is gonna get together with Brook. Brooks creator asked for it, when Brook first appeared. So technically, it's the relationship which had the most warm-up. And I'm glad you're gonna like them too... Let's hope Bert doesn't get jealous and eat Merry...  
  
Crypticelfdreamer Idril: I happen to like Bret very much, just like you. And I send you a mail, saying that it's so cool to have my story on your page. So you know that... Right, eh, thanks for reviewing. *Bows and walks off stage*  
  
Raveness: Sorry it took so long. And thank you for reviewing, good lady.  
  
bratpincess: Thanks, I'm glad you like.  
  
Eve Devonshire: Look, I'm updating right now!! And I'm glad you like the story.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Miss Anìron," Elrond let his piercing gaze fall on the blond youth, "Mr. Greenleaf," before moving it on to the male, blond youth. They both shifted around nervously in their chairs. Elrond smiled sadistically. "Both of you are shining examples of the poor state the land is in," he then announced.  
  
Nef frowned, "Thank you??"  
  
"Detention with Sauron, for being provocative and talking back," Elrond said plainly, and picked up a sheet of paper. "I'm putting you two in charge of the Parents/Teachers Night."  
  
Legolas gasped, while Nef stared, "Us??"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Greenleaf," Elrond answered. "Decoration, punch, snacks, everything must be perfect. Or what I tell your parents will be worse then it already is. Have a nice day." The Elf Lord smiled pleasantly. He held his cackle back 'till both students were out the room.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"I don't believe it," Nef declared loudly, and kicked the nearest wall. She then howled and started jumping around on one leg.  
  
Legolas seemed deep in thought, "So, what are we gonna do??"  
  
Nef paused, gently massaging her injured toe, "Well," she began, and put it down, "I say we get back at him."  
  
Her friend gave her a curious look, "How, Nefhuinëiel??" Legolas let her full-name flow gently from his tongue.  
  
Nef smiled, no one actually said her name, unless it was "We'll make it a night to remember."  
  
*~*~*  
  
Gaelwyn leaned her back against Faramir's chest and sighed. She really missed this position, sitting on his lap during lunch, leaning back into those strong arms. The boys left arm squeezed reassuringly around her waist, while the right was occupied, holding a half drunk cup of chocolate.  
  
"Look at the two star-crossed lovers, already in character," Figwit joked.  
  
Gaelwyn stuck her tongue out, and Faramir gave him the finger. Nevertheless, the dark Elf sat down. And he was soon joined by those who'd walked with him. Elladan, Elrohir, Aragorn, Rúmil, Orophin, Haldir (no Nef in sight), Glorfindel and a sulky looking Boromir. Note that he lagged behind the group, still not loving any of the group.  
  
"What's the matter, Bro??" Gaelwyn asked joyfully, passing him her left- over pie.  
  
Boromir wrinkled his nose, but accepted, picked up the fork on the plate, "Melianwen is sick."  
  
"Came too close to one of Saruman's paintings, didn't she??" Glorfindel asked, leaning forward to have a look at the person he was asking.  
  
"Yeah," Boromir replied, chewing the first bite of apple pie. "This is really bad," he remarked, pointing at the dessert.  
  
"Why'd you thing I hadn't eaten it yet?" Gaelwyn asked, her tone still ecstatic.  
  
Boromir sent Faramir a "look". The younger of the two blushed slightly, and kissed his girlfriends cheek. Gaelwyn grinned, and smiled broadly. Figwit sighed loudly, making Haldir pat his back soothingly.  
  
"Hello all," a voice beamed. Nef strolled over to the group, Legolas following. While she was looked unusually happy, Legolas looked rather thoughtful. Nef passed Faramir and Gaelwyn, and with a smile, she got a hold of Gaelwyns chin, between her thumb and index finger.  
  
"What is wrong with you??" Gaelwyn asked, slightly muffled since her jaw was stuck.  
  
Nef smiled warmly, "I love you," gave her friend a kiss on the cheek, and moved to sit in Haldir's lap.  
  
There was a brief silence, in which all eyes were on the cheerful blond. "What in all of Middle Earth, are you so happy about??"  
  
"I..." she paused, then nodded at Legolas, "We, get to make Elronds life hell."  
  
Haldir raised a brow, "How exactly??"  
  
"Oh well, it's just that WE'RE in charge of parent/teacher night. We've decided to make it as horrible as possible," Nef proclaimed proudly.  
  
Legolas frowned, a look of concern on his features, "I don't think it's a good idea, Nef. He'll tell our parents..."  
  
"Legolas!!" At least six individuals were in on that statement.  
  
Aragorn was eying his boyfriend sceptically, "Since when do you care??"  
  
"When I'm within striking distance."  
  
"So, we'll make all these guys mess it up," Nef grinned at her friend, and then looked around, "'You all in??"  
  
Gaelwyn squealed, "Hell yeah!!"  
  
"Wouldn't miss it," Figwit agreed.  
  
"He gets really mad when you spill paint," Elladan supplied.  
  
Elrohir nodded enthusiastically, "Or if you spike punch."  
  
"I can get the key to the supply room," Gaelwyn suggested. "I'll just smile at Wormtongue.  
  
Faramir puffed up his chest, "I'll kill him if he tries anything."  
  
"You're with us Leggy," Nef stated firmly, then added in a dreadful accent, "Savvy?"  
  
Legolas paused, but let his tense shoulders fall, "Savvy."  
  
(A/N: *Cackles* Oh, little Will Turner. My little Jack Sparrow. My precioussssss...)  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Mîm??"  
  
Said redhead snorted as she woke, only to find Gimli eyeing her pleadingly. "Can I come out now??"  
  
Mîm blinked a few times, then rubbed her eyes. "Erm..." she murmured uncertainly. To be honest, she kinda fell asleep halfway through Basketball Diaries, much as she had done in the current situation.  
  
Gimli smiled slightly, "You have no idea??"  
  
"Not really," Mîm admitted, "I don't know that much about heroin."  
  
Her cousin shook his head and let out a sigh, "I give you my word."  
  
"And I'll take it if you don't behave," Mîm stated firmly. As Gimli chuckled, she added in a severe voice; "I'm serious, I'll rip out you vocal cords."  
  
*~*~*  
  
"VALAR!!" Pearl cried out loudly, jumping back.  
  
Brook looked insulted, petting Bert gently, "He won't hurt you."  
  
"I thought Merry was lying," Pippin said in a shaky voice, clutching his chest like he was having a heart attack. Pearl had slowly moved behind him, and was peeking at the spider over his shoulder.  
  
Brook smiled broadly, and threw a piece of toast down at her feet, where Bert ate it greedily, "Did he tell you about the part where he fainted??"  
  
The two hobbits smiled slightly, "He conveniently forgot that part," Pip answered.  
  
"You coming to class then??" Pearl asked, keeping her eyes on Bert, since he'd now finished eating and was making a really disturbing *stomach- growling*-sound.  
  
Brook shook her head no, "I'm cutting this one out. I'm gonna teach Bert how to fetch," Pearl raised an eyebrow, but Brook continued, " and he needs to be housetrained."  
  
"Please, spare us the details," Pippin pleaded, urging his girlfriend out the door. "See ya', Brook!!"  
  
"Yep," Brook grinned absently, and as Pearl closed the door, she swore she heard Brook say, "Now Bert, when nature calls, you just jump up and down, 'k??"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Upon hearing someone knock on the door, Melianwen slowly pulled the blankets back from her face. "Com' in." Her voice had, much like Legolas had joked, entered a very stuffy stage.  
  
Boromir entered, carrying a plastic cup filled with chocolate. He gracefully put it down on her bedside table, sitting down on her bed, "How are you?" he asked, trying to sound optimistic.  
  
Melianwen glared, "'Ow do you dink??"  
  
"Not better then," Boromir concluded, deciding to ignore his girlfriend's current moodiness. "Here, have some." He held out the chocolate.  
  
Melianwen got up on one elbow, accepted the cup and took a sip. "I can'd daste a ding."  
  
Boromir sighed in defeat, and took the cup back, "You staying here??"  
  
Melainwen looked like she was about to snap something cruel, but within seconds her face turned sad instead. "Mmm hmm," she 'answered' and tucked the blankets back under her chin.  
  
Boromir raised his brow questioningly, before seeing the obvious plan in the dark-haired's behaviour. "You little cheater, you just want me to take care of you."  
  
Melianwen smiled briefly, before her face contracted, and she sneezed loudly.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"I'm bored," Figwit groaned, throwing the fifth straw of hair from his head(boredom leads to masochistic behaviour) he managed to make twenty knots on away.  
  
Around the dorm (his and Haldir's) there was a general mumbling of agreement. You now that atmosphere of total laziness. The one that makes everybody just sit there and either stare into thin air, or do some minor (and totally stupid) thing? That was how the atmosphere was in Figwit's dorm. Legolas was playing with a yo-yo, Aragorn was pretending to read a book for English class (Figwit had noticed he hadn't been moving his eyes for several minutes), Éomer was staring into thin air while drinking a beer, Elladan and Elrohir was having a who-blinks-first competition, and Glorfindel had fallen asleep with his head in Fiora's lap. Said redhead was practising raising first the left, then the right eyebrow. So it appeared anyway...  
  
"Where's Nef when you need her??" Legolas whined, throwing the yo-yo into a pile of laundry.  
  
Aragorn closed his book with a snap, and threw it in the same direction as the disappeared yo-yo, "She's with Haldir in her dorm."  
  
Elrohir tore his eyes from those of his twin, "In front of Faramir??"  
  
Aragorn sent a glare in the sniggering half-elf's direction, "Faramir is with Gaelwyn, in her dorm."  
  
The subject was closed. Legolas started ripping up a sheet of paper, while Aragorn cleaned his fingernails with a pen from Figwit's desk.  
  
"What about Idril??" Figwit suggested, "She's amusing."  
  
Glorfindel snorted, thereby proving that he was, in fact, awake, "Her and Lainauriel are having a detention with Bombadil. They wrote 'SlipKnot rulez' with black magic marker, all over their table."  
  
"Where's Celebrían?" Elladan asked.  
  
Fiora shrugged, "She might be out flirting." Pausing a bit, she added, "The odds are high."  
  
Again, thick silence. "We should do something mean to Arwench..." Éomer mused, taking another sip of his beer.  
  
"And your sister, if we're doing anything," Legolas reminded him.  
  
Fiora chewed on her bottom lip, then lighted up, "We could lock them in their dorm!!"  
  
"How??" Figwit asked, not lifting his head from the window still, where he'd put it the minute before. "We don't have a key."  
  
Fiora beamed and pulled out the key dangling from then chain around her neck, "I have the universal-key!!" A few eyebrows were raised, but no one seemed to have the energy to ask how she got it. Fiora carried on, not minding the silence, "I've got a plan. We need a branch, a distracting team, the key, and eight beers... For celebrating the success, the beers I mean."  
  
No one even bothered to appear interested. Except Éomer, who was looking *mildly* interested. Fiora swapped Glorfindel's head. He didn't even flinch. But a few seconds of breathing deeply, the redhead was back in her bouncy mood. "Someone will get them in there, I was thinking loud talking about a new painting of Saruman's. We'll before that have blocked their window with the branch. Then we'll lock the door, and then we'll go celebrate!!"  
  
"Nice idea," Elladan said, muffled, since his head was buried deeply in a pillow.  
  
Aragorn threw the pencil away, and admired his handy work, "Could be fun."  
  
"Doesn't it require moving??" Legolas asked, lifting his hand and putting it down, to prove his point.  
  
Seeing the entire room was not planning on participating, Fiora momentarily abandoned her cheerful personality. "I'm surrounded by armatures and ignorants, idiots and ass-wipes," she began to rant, getting up. "First there's one problem, then there's another problem. Useless bastards!! Tell me, aren't you interested at all?? Childish fools!!" And with that, she strode out the dorm, smacking the door behind her. Unfortunately, her exit, which was meant to startle them, didn't even get a raised brow.  
  
Éomer sighed, "Never seen her mad before," he mused loud enough for all to hear.  
  
"Worried??" Glorfindel asked casually.  
  
"Nah, she'll come around," the blond said, emptying his beer.  
  
Figwit groaned, and straightened up, "We should go through with that fine plan."  
  
"How's that??" Aragorn asked blankly, "The key's run off." "Good point," Figwit muttered, and now settled on leaning up the wall. "Guess that's that."  
  
(A/N: The KEY'S run off!! Love that line. Love Jack Sparrow actually... Will have the *Why is the rum gone*-one in the next chapter. *GGG*)  
  
*~*~*  
  
Pearl swallowed heavily. Her mouth was watering up again, and if it didn't stop soon, she would be throwing up. Sam was gently massaging her hand for comfort. She sent him a weak smile, and continued to scribble down Math notes. "I'm fine Sam," she whispered, even managing perfect punctuation in the sentence she was writing.  
  
Sam did not look convinced, but let go of her hand. He had barely begun writing himself, when Pearl moaned in pain and closed her mouth tightly. Sam seized her left hand again, holding it tightly. "Are you...??"  
  
The lass gave him a weak look, "I think I have to go to the bathroom," she whispered. The words had barely left her mouth, then her eyes widened, and she stormed out the classroom.  
  
Professor Celeborn stared after her with a outraged expression. "She isn't feeling well," Sam explained, before following his roommate. Half way out the door he could hear Pippin's voice too; "We'll check if she's alright."  
  
Sam found his rommie right around the nearest corner, leaning heavily against the wall, a puddle of throw-up at her feet. "Sam??" She questioned, not looking up.  
  
"Yes," he whispered, pulling her arm around his shoulder, "Lead on, I'll follow you back to your dorm."  
  
"*We* will follow you back to your dorm," Pippin corrected, and behind him Merry nodded. Pearl managed a weak smile, and allowed them to drag her along.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Professor Oakenshield held up a piece of...something, "And this is??"  
  
"Mithril!!" The class responded simultaneously.  
  
Thorin nodded and picked up another piece of... stuff, "And this??"  
  
"Gold!!" The class responded.  
  
"How educational," Rosie hissed at her friend. Mîm was smiling broadly, practically bouncing around in her seat. Not as much as Gimli though.  
  
"Oh yes," both responded jubilantly. Rosie groaned, rolling her eyes.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"It's amazing!!"  
  
Haldir smiled, gasping for breath, "Yeah, hell yeah," he wheezed, wiping his sweaty brown with the back of his hand.  
  
Nef snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest, "Not that." She quickly added, "Though that indeed was amazing." Haldir smiled, and kissed her hair. Nef continued, "How the two of us manage to stay issue-free, I mean."  
  
Haldir frowned, "We're just lucky, I guess."  
  
Nef sighed loudly and yawned, "I just can't help thinking..." She trailed off.  
  
Haldir got up on one elbow, making her wove up as well, "What??"  
  
"That it'll go bad eventually. We'll have problems too."  
  
Haldir couldn't help but laugh at the nervous face his girlfriend was putting on. He took a deep calming breath, kissing her deeply, before pulling away and looking her in the eye, "Don't worry about stuff like that."  
  
"Hakuna Matata??" Nef suggested.  
  
"Exactly." With that, Haldir kissed her again and laid down again, Nef going back to her former position, her head on his bare chest. Neither of them knew, that issues actually were produced minutes before...  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N: You Know what I mean!!! But does it still count as a cliff-hanger?? Not really... 


End file.
